If you’re nice, are you getting screwed, financially?
Perhaps.
…men who measured below average on agreeableness earned about 18% more—or $9,772 more annually in their sample—than nicer guys.
Ruder women, meanwhile, earned about 5% or $1,828 more than their agreeable counterparts.
— Human Resource Studies at Cornell University’s School of Industrial and Labor Relations
Read more on WSJ and via bakadesuyo
I should note that ‘ruder’ or ‘meaner’ women can mean many things.
People I negotiate with probably think that I’m ‘rude’ and ‘mean’, but it’s all perception, because it’s business and it’s MY money I’m negotiating for (remember? one of my rules is that no one has more interest in your money than yourself).
I remember with my first job, they wanted to offer me $50k, which is a very decent salary… but I asked for more, and I got an extra $15k.
Imagine if I had just accepted it without even trying to get more money? I would be at a $15k loss each year.
In fact, each of my co-workers who had accepted at $50k, would have never reached my starting salary in less than 7 years, with the way salary raises were going ($2k max a year). In contrast, I was making the extra $15k and earning an additional $2k in salary raises per year.
I see it as being ahead of the game right off the bat.
So if it means that I am called ‘rude’, ‘bitchy’ or ‘mean’ behind my back but I get the money I deserve, then I am all for it. 😉
For the record, I still think I’m a nice, friendly, laid back sort of person (just not when it comes to companies (and their managers/whoever) trying to lowball me by using dirty tactics by using my age as a negative, or calling me ‘mean’ or whatever suits them to get me to work for less money).
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
Too funny! As a woman who has worked for others as well as for myself, I can absolutely appreciate and agree with what you are saying. I by the way, prefer to be called assertive 🙂
It is just a reflection to the average population – means than average person is not nice, hence you have to be rude to get any results out. This is just the world we live in, unfortunately.
Being nice has its disadvantages. You do get taken for granted at times, but if you have the right skill set and talent, it comes around eventually IMO.
Your post came just in time. I recently moved back from the US and am interviewing in the GTA. I was just wondering about – when the time comes – how to negotiate. I’m so shy when it comes to talking about the money, but I know I will probably need to negotiate. I was wondering if you mind sharing some tips about having such a discussion? When you’re made an offer, how does one go about saying they were hoping for more?
I’m a pushover. I’ll admit it. I don’t know how to bargain, I don’t know how to negotiate. My husband is agreeable though, but while in the past he’s accepted jobs at a lesser pay then his more aggressive comrades, he is getting better at asking for what he’s worth. Me, I’m just a sucker.
I think being straightforward is the ultimate key. Be prepared, know your statistics, and don’t be afraid to say no!
I negotiated my salary and got a tiny bump, but it’s still more than what they initially offered me 🙂 I see myself as a nice person, but I will definitely speak up for myself if I think I’m being short changed.
A lot of people, myself included, often equate being forthright and speaking up for yourself with being “rude” or “mean”, especially when a woman does it. But I’ve learned that you can speak up for yourself but focus on being factual and leaving the emotions out of it, that way the covnersation is less heated and “rude”.
I tried to negotiate my starting salary but I wasn’t successful =p I don’t think I’m too nice, but I definitely didn’t know what I was doing. Also I think because I have a union position it is somewhat difficult to request more because the rules are so rigid. SIGH.
My first job I didn’t negotiate, but my second job I did. I realized that if I didn’t ask, and if I felt I were being underpaid, I would become mean because I’d feel undervalued.
The more I think about this study, the more I wonder if ruder/meaner people are more productive at work: maybe all the nice people are afraid of them, and just do what they say?
I negotiated like crazy for my salary in this position that I got last summer. People like to typecast straightforward women in the business place as aggressive but that’s just ’cause they are too afraid to say no to us. 😉
So true. Also, I think part of it is that women tend to be socialized as “nice” on a whole.
I think what this article means by nice is being a pushover.
Very interesting that the difference for men is much more than for women!
The article really focused on “agreeablenesss”, which I think is misleading. You can be nice, even in a professional environment, yet still disagree firmly but in a fair and respectful way.
When women are being firm, they are called rude or bitchy. When men are being firm, they are called strong or confident. There’s a huge line in the sand by the way we are treated – so I wonder how “mean” we can get away with, and how it was measured. But that’s interesting!
Sigh, I am getting tired of hearing such whining all the time. This is not a personal attack, just an unfortunate sentiment. Sure women do face discrimination in the work place, but life is not a rosy picnic just because one is a man, even if they are that ‘revered’ group of being upper-middle-class, middle-age WASP. The truth is people find all sorts of stupid reasons to discriminate against others and whilst we pay lip service to equality laws one can easily get around them and set the victim as being overly-sensitive or just not fitting in with the ‘corporate-culture’.
However, most groups have progressed and the average person in the West is probably more self-empowered than they have been for at least a century, alas the general culture has to become one of simultaneous victims and victimizers. Instead one ought to look at what they want, what they are prepared to offer and go about their way within the constraints of life and achieve them.
Talk about a mans world, white mans world mirror the accusations of those of a war against caucasians, war against the majority and are just as effective in achieving nothing towards a solution but retracting from any such progression by instead fuelin a sense of bitterness and paranoia. If you are an adult, are mentally and physically capable, and free (from constraints of common culture) then there is no reason why one cannot achieve a measure of success and make a bit of money too.
I couldn’t agree with you more! I also negotiated (fairly but firmly) when I took my current job. I think that we often think about negotiating salary, but there are so many other things to consider, like bonuses, flexible work hours, title, and even the job description.
I really think that men and women are often judged differently for the same actions. Where a man might be charismatic and strong, a woman may be considered a bitch. Fair? Not at all. But I think that it’s important that we keep advocating for ourselves – and for our gender!