Friends of a feather, flock together

I’m going to probably catch a lot of flack for this, but have you ever noticed a problem with making friends?

Specifically, making friends of the same social status as you are in.


I have a friend who is a doctor, and she just moved to a new city all by herself to start the job. Most of the girls who are there and around her age, are receptionists or nurses and they don’t seem to feel very comfortable in hanging out with her, just because she’s a doctor, and she has to tell them what to do.

It made me think of Grey’s Anatomy where you never really see nurses hang out with the surgeons at the same lunch table, and it’s rare to see higher-ranking surgeons hang out with the newbies.

I’ve been somewhat sheltered from this aspect, seeing as most of the clients I am with, tend to not have many women in the department, let alone women my age to hang out with and bond with.

It’s mostly guys around me, at least 20 years older with a wife, kids and there is no real connection other than work for the most part.

On top of all of that, I’m a lone wolf on projects, seeing as I’m a freelancer working among employees. I have to be uber careful about what I say and do, and how I project myself, so it can be hard to fit in.

Being a consultant means having to be an Every Woman/Man, and though many won’t show it, it can get lonely at times to not have a work friend to talk to, especially since I switch projects and clients so often.

I also find it hard to bond with a project manager, manager, executive or person way higher up than me in general. It just doesn’t happen, I’m on guard all the time.

The one thing my friend mentioned being uber jealous about my job was that I actually had to interact with people on my team — my project team, the client, the people I’m helping and just in general. I’m forced into social situations that can lend themselves easily to a rapport of some sort, even if it isn’t a strong one I can build on outside of work.

With her, she only hangs out with the other doctor in the field, who is again, older than her, not the same gender and just for the plain fact that she is sick of talking about doctor-y stuff all day (she thankfully spared me the details), and wanted to talk to other professionals not in her field or industry.

Have you come across this in your life?

About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.