Take responsibility for your actions and words.
I know that if I go to a store, and if I am justified in being upset about something, I’m willing to argue to get properly compensated.
That being said, I know when I do that, that people will respond negatively.
How can they not?
I respond negatively all the time when people (seem to) attack me on the blog, and it’s hard not to take it personally.
These reps will feel attacked even though it isn’t personal and it was my being upset at the lack of enforcement of a certain policy at the store, or whatever.
Another example is when you are arguing with a loved one perhaps.
In the heat of the moment, you say something you regret — maybe blurting out something that was supposed to have been done and over with, or swearing at them.
At that point, you have to own up to what you said.
Sure, you said it when you were upset, but you said it.
This means you can make a choice to:
- apologize immediately
- apologize after wards
- fix the situation in other ways
- keep arguing your point
What you can’t do, is say: “I didn’t mean to say that, why are you upset and attacking me back? My intention was not to hurt you.”
The problem is that you can’t take back your actions or words, and if you aren’t willing to either back them up and defend yourself, or back down and fix the situation, then DON’T SAY IT.
The best example is the internet: anyone can say anything they damn well please under a guise of (relative) Anonymity.
The rule is: if you aren’t willing to speak those words out loud to someone in person, face-to-face because you actually feel like it would be rude or too personal, then don’t type it.
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I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
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Great post! We are all responsible for our actions and words. And with the fast pace of technology and the availability of information (overload), some people can get carried away with the power of anonymity.
I try to always be honest and positive in my comments (and in person, of course). But it also depends on my relationship with the person. Luckily, most of my friends just prefer me to be honest (with respect, of course), and I don’t need to beat around the bush. There are times, that I don’t have anything positive to say. I try to keep my (big) mouth shut, but there are instances when I do give negative feedback. I just try to keep it to a minimum.
I don’t tend to say rude or negative things on the Internet or in personal interactions because I’d rather spread more positivity than negativity. The reason why I commented what I did on your last past, and I don’t regret it, is because although we many times do not agree with our families, I very firmly believe they are due respect, especially in a public sphere. I do offer an apology if it upset you or hurt your feelings. It was not intended to do that. It was intended to get you to sit back and reflect on your feelings and see the good things in your family and perhaps focus upon them.
Oh, I forgot to add that your post is very tastefully written.
You wrote the following:
“That is incredibly mean and shows a great deal of superiority and insecurity to be judging others, particularly your own family. Shame on you.”
Whether you intended it or not, these are hurtful words. If you are ever in question of what to say, imagine someone saying what you are going to say, to you. Would these words have the effect of you sitting back and reflecting on your feelings? I doubt it. These are words of extreme negativity. These are not words of positivity that you say you want to spread.
FB makes it clear that she loves her family very much. Unless you have Asperger’s or Autism, in which case I sincerely apologize, you should be able to read the posts with the intent with which they are written.
(Autism spectrum people have a very hard time understanding nuances. I have good friends with this condition.)
Yes, if someone did say that to me, I would sit back and reflect on how I was coming across like that. And talk about rude, you stated your opinion, which I respect, but then you went on to insult me, which makes your original point fall right through the cracks.
I 100% agree with you. Be a man or woman and stand up to your actions. Take responsibility for whatever you do even if it was an accident.
This is how I feel about ebay feedback. I got something negative and totally untrue, without the buyer ever contacting me first. This was so frustrating!
I need to work on saying what I feel, when I feel it, without it coming across as crass/something I’ll regret later. I used to just say what was bothering me right then and there; if I didn’t know what was bothering me, I would think aloud in a free association type of way, so all of this unnecessary stuff would come up and end up hurting the other person. Now, I just sit on problems for a day or two. If it still bothers me after the fact, I’ll bring it up to the other person. While the latter leads to less fights, I wear my heart on my sleeve, so it is tough to be social/happy when something is on my mind. Just looking for a happy medium.
A good rule of thumb is, if you won’t sign your name to it, DON’T SAY IT! Anonymous posters are cowards. Period.
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