I firmly say: NO WAY! to that.
I once had a friend carry a Louis Vuitton purse to a bar, only to have a guy lean over and slur: “You’re too expensive to maintain for my tastes!”
And to elicit that, all she did was hold a LV purse!
Personally, I am not a fan of designer logos all over a bag or outfit, but while it isn’t my cup of tea, it doesn’t mean others should follow the same rule.
Just because someone happens to enjoy the look of a designer bag doesn’t mean they’re a high maintenance woman, or a shopaholic.
Creating a mental image of who a person is based on their logos, is a surefire way to misjudge someone.
Girls who know how to take care of their money don’t always have to fit any kind of stereotype of someone who only wears utilitarian clothing, bags her lunches everyday, walks around in orthopedic footwear and is makeup-free because she doesn’t see the point in wearing makeup.
I consider myself to have pretty good money management skills and I don’t look like that.
I’ve even had someone say to me in surprise:
“I wouldn’t have expected you to be someone who is so diligent about money management.”
When I asked why, he replied:
“I don’t know. I just assumed you were like [insert name of girl we both know]. She’s a crazy shopaholic who’s really into spending tons of cash for fashion, and you both dress similarly.”
Well just because I like to wear nice clothes, jewellery and makeup, it doesn’t mean I’m a ditz who doesn’t know anything about money.
I sure didn’t when I was younger, but I’ve since kicked myself in the ass!
I wasn’t sure if I should be flattered or insulted, but either way, it’s a stereotype that exists.
Just because women like to look a certain way, doesn’t necessarily mean they’re high maintenance, ditzy shopaholics, and vice versa for women who dress in plain jane clothing.
They might be harbouring a secret shopping habit for something else!
I like to shop for quality but that doesn’t always mean designer brands. I have also been really lucky and found some great finds at thrift stores.
I just like nice things… but I also know how to save for them!
Like many other commenters, I too have had similar experiences. However, here is my question, why are some of us so fascinated with wearing someone else name on our backs,chest, shoulders, feet and buttocks? Yesterday I was at the grocery store and the woman in front of me had on fuschia sweats with PINK splattered acorss her bottom. So what’s the appeal? I don’t get it.
Hey FB! I so totally agree. Just because someone dresses well and has nice things it doesn’t mean that they’re broke. There are people out there that make good money and not everyone that makes a high income is broke. Stats show that women graduate college more than men do these days, so there are many professional women out in the workplace working right now and earning good income.
It’s totally unfair for men to assume that women are in debt just because they have nice things. The assumption that women just shop til they drop is wrong. Men spend too on different things such as sports memorabilia, cars, gym memberships, dates, etc.
I completely agree. I am not a shopaholic by any means but when I buy something I use a lot, I like to buy quality. Sometimes this means what I buy is name brand, sometimes not. I don’t think you can judge someone based on what brand their wearing, but it’s very easy to do. I have a Coach purse that was handed down to me from my mother. It’d be easy to judge me just by the bag I’m carrying around, when the truth is that I didn’t buy or expect to have that bag at all.
However, I notice a lot of people where I live (LA area) will do anything do get designer because they think it makes them look rich. That appeal is exactly what everyone here is going for, and the reason nearly everyone in my area has a designer bag.
I have had similar experiences. I budget and save for my big purchases and feel like there does not have to be a total tradeoff between being financially savvy and looking good. I once had a coworker tell me that I have things easy because I live at home and can waste money on fancy things….Not really sure what I did to provoke that comment but it was uncalled for. Great post.
I am similar to this in that I like to buy quality over quantity. I’d rather have a couple really nice items that work well for exactly what I need them to do versus a couple crappy items that are cute but will fall apart or fail me. I am an outdoorsy gal and so I am usually wearing a lot of technical brands like Patagonia, North Face, etc, and so a lot of people are all, “Ohhhh, look at your wearing your expensive Patagonia dress and cardigan!” or whatever and I know that I am wearing organic textiles that comes from a sustainable company with a good heart. Not every company is going to be the best, but I think Patagonia does a pretty good job for technical and every day wear. Yeah, I could have bought four Old Navy dresses for the price of my super cute Au Bateau dress but I know that I will be more happy buying something I really want instead of having a closet full of clothes that I won’t wear as much because they don’t fit 100% right.
Yay for wearing good brands!
While I don’t think that women necessarily judge each other in that way, men are completely justified in making those judgements when it comes to dating. Why? Because if they’re looking for a mate, the best they can do is take at face value certain aspects of a woman, and a big one is the stuff she has. Just like women are drawn to men who clearly have money (identifiable via their car, watch, suit, whatever), men have all the right to be drawn AWAY from women who look like their lifestyle is very expensive to maintain. If I were a guy who made, say $70k, I wouldn’t be approaching the woman with an LV bag and a Rolex watch, because I would worry that I couldn’t afford to keep her happy. Wearing those items, regardless of what you tell yourself to convince yourself why you do or do not do so, is a statement to the rest of the world about your expectations in life. Do you expect to have nice things? Then yes, any guy who fears he may not be able to provide the top-of-the-line item will undoubtedly stay away.
Oh also this reminds me of a joke that some comedian says (I forget who): “women think men like money. men don’t like money, WOMEN like money, and MEN like women! so if we’re showing off our money, it’s for their sake, not ours!” hahaha 😉
I totally get judged by my sense of fashion. I like what I like no matter the label. I have plenty of old Navy stuff along with Marc Jacobs and Coach. I own expensive watchs and wear them with my epiphany platium clad jewelry from QVC 🙂 I have my less fortunate relatives tell me I am too high maintaince and my well to do relatives ask me why I shop at Gap and have been using the same Coach bag (that I saved 1 year to get & for holidays asked for cash to pay for it) for almost a year..really!? Oh well don’t judge me by my cover. I am a very outgoing, social, loud, love to laugh Accountant (yes I get judge on my career too lol).
Hah, I’d written a whole post about something similar but haven’t gotten around to publishing. 🙂 I think your attitude about the designer stuff might be more telling about your level of maintenance more than your possession of it, but even that metric may be suspect. (By which I mean, your attitude about whether or not you own it, whether or not you judge others by their possession of it, how you treat the items, how you treat others who have them versus don’t.)
Really, I think your character is more to do with who you are as a person than the things you own unless you make such a deliberate effort to possess things that are meant to reflect who you are that it can really do so accurately. Some people can and it’s a really interesting story their things tell about them and their travels and such. Or a scary story. All depends! 🙂