Fighting our own battles

Helicopter parents are a big thing these days.

What are Helicoper Parents, you ask? They are parents who hover over their children in all aspects of their life, always jumping in to fight their battles instead of letting them learn on their own.

I understand if it’s a serious issue that cannot be resolved on their own, but letting kids learn on their own is a far better strategy than handicapping them with too much help.

When I was a kid, we were always taught to fight our own battles, although more mentally than physically.

If we got a bad grade in school and we complained, my parents would look at us and ask if we think we seriously didn’t deserve that mark. More often than not, they were right — we just had to work harder to get a better mark.

Only once or twice, can I remember that we were in the right, but even then, we argued with the teachers on our own without calling our parents in to fight for us. In the end we resolved it on our own and felt more empowered to deal with authority figures, versus the other kids who had their parents on speed dial.


If your parents earn more money and/or are in jobs like being in the Supreme Court, a lawyer, a doctor, or something considered socially important… do they turn more into helicopter parents?

If so, is it because their jobs make them more aggressive and protective? Or is it because they feel guilt for not being there for their kids (i.e. working long hours)? Or perhaps that they believe their kids are perfect because they have everything at their disposal?

On the flip side, if your parents earned LESS money, would they be more likely to accept and believe authority figures and let their kids battle out on their own? Why is that?

I recall reading an article that did a study about children from rich families versus poor families.

Rich families were more likely to teach their kids autonomy and the ability to ask questions directly, like when they’re at the doctor’s office going in for a checkup, but autonomy doesn’t mean that their parents let them fight on their own, such as when they’re questioning the doctor’s opinion.

Poorer families were more likely to speak for their children and not really question the judgment of the doctor.

It’s one thing to blame everything on everyone else, but when it starts becoming routine to pick up the phone to yell at someone on behalf of your kid, maybe it’s your kid and your attitude towards their battles that’s the problem.

What do you think?

About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.