SIDE NOTE:
I’ve never really understood the intention of employers to save on heating costs by turning it down so low, you’re forced to wear your winter jacket in the office. Literally.
I’m definitely a tightwad for heating costs, being the one who likes to put on thick sweatpants and a hoodie, along with snuggling under a flannel blanket on our futon “couch”, but in the OFFICE?
C’mon now. I have to TYPE here. I have to try and look professional!
I can’t be under a huge woolly blanket with MUGGs (faux UGGs) on my feet!
My fingers are freezing up and I’m shivering like mad.
People are actually walking by and laughing at me. Pointing at me shivering like an ice cube in my cube.
Torture, I tell ya.
This brings me up to the point of my post today:
What is the most shameless thing you’ve ever done?
Me, it’s not just one but many things. I reuse and take whatever is free (if I need it).
This includes any leftover sandwiches, cakes, fruits, food or drinks at the office from long-past retirement parties that no one wants (if it’s edible, that is), and never saying “No” to free food being proffered.
Yes, I admit it. I’m an office food scavenger who has no shame.
And where did I learn this useful skill, of being totally and utterly SHAMELESS?
From my dear parents of course. And my grandmother.
From The Sartorialist. Not my grandmothers.
Story time!
BF’S FIRST BRUSH WITH THE UTTERLY SHAMELESS CLAN (MY FAMILY)
BF had met my parents for the first time that weekend and he was treating the WHOLE family out to a big ‘all-you-can-eat’ dinner, except it was in a real restaurant and not at some random “All you can eat” buffet, so each meal and appetizer was priced separately.
Basically in his eyes and in his words, you could order whatever you wanted, as much as you wanted and he’d pay, no questions asked, even if it came out to $1000.
(My parents eyes widened at this, because they are the type to share food and pad it with white rice to make it last, so this was a big deal).
This is where you say: OK wait, hold up! Seriously, $1000 worth of food?
In principle, yes. In reality, no.
We don’t roll like that into any restaurant like that, but what he means is that he’d pay a hefty price for a meal like that, because he doesn’t really go out to eat often, and when he does, it’s a real treat.
Shameless Culprit Thing One: Brother
Asked if he could order extra meals during the dinner to take home to eat during the week, padded out by lots of rice.
This definitely earned a big stink eye and side glare from me, who then said: Don’t look the horse’s gift in the mouth or you might end up paying for your share in this dinner, sweet treat or not!
Shameless Cuplrit Thing Two and Thing Three: My parents
Rotated roles and asked shamelessly for all the sauces available (for free of course) in large quantities.
My dad would ask. Then my mom would wave over another waiter and ask. Then they’d switch asking roles and waiters.
Why?
My mom is a spice freak.
She can eat spice like nobody’s business, trust me on this. I’m admittedly a spice wimp, but just a LICK of a little bit of the kind of chili paste she eats, and my mouth went up in flames. Other less wimpier types like my father, still can’t eat the way she does, and he takes half a tablespoon for each meal to spread out across all the appetizers and meals.
She eats it at every meal with at least 5-6 tablespoons or more.
Generally, my parents will ask for free sides, free soup, free dessert, free sauces, and everything but the actual meal… and the kitchen sink itself.
Their motto: We’re just asking. If we get it, great. If we don’t, no biggie.
Shameless Culprit Thing Four: Myself
BF was laughing at this afterwards but I had no idea why.
See, Mom had nudged me saying: Ask for some of their chili paste to go (specialty on the house) before we leave. It’s so good and so hard to make at home from scratch. I have to go to the bathroom. Make me proud.
Translation: Your father and I are blacklisted at this restaurant now. We’ve asked for too much. Your turn now, youngest apple of our tree…. do me proud!
FB: *waves waiter over* Can I get 4 cups of your chili paste to go with our leftovers?
Waiter: Umm……uhhhhh.. ahhh.. well I don’t know. 4 cups? It’s a lot of chili paste.
FB: *waits patiently, blinking eyes*
Waiter: Well, I can give you 2 little tubs for free, but any extra and we’ll have to charge …..
FB: Okay. 2 tubs are fine. 😀 Thank you.
Waiter: *to himself* “What just happened?”
BF was dying in the corner after this. I wasn’t sure if it was from embarrassment or laughter, but it might have been a bit of both.
When we finally get back to my parents’ home, he tells me why he had a funny look on his face — it was because I was SO SHAMELESS in asking!
I had caught the waiter off guard in just asking, and he didn’t know how to say “No” to me, having no practice against such practiced, natural shamelessness.
I didn’t even notice the above exchange had happened out of the ordinary until he recounted these 3 things to me:
- My mom already milked the restaurant of all of their chili paste to satiate her spice needs
- I asked so casually and comfortably, it was like I have been doing it all my life <—- he wasn’t too far off in this; I have been trained since I could speak, to ask for freebies
- I wanted 4 CUPS, but I settled for 2 little tubs because I didn’t want to pay extra for more chili paste, but if the guy had said: Sorry we can’t give you any, I would’ve shrugged and said “OK“.
My only retort to this was: We spent a lot of money feeding 5 people, 2 of which eat like elephants (myself and my brother). I feel like a little chili paste was required with our leftovers!
He had apparently never seen such a display in his life, and was half proud, half in shock.
We laugh about this now, and I bring it up to make him snort, but this won’t stop me from asking for freebies.
Granted, I don’t do this every time, but on occasion, if the case warrants it, I do.
Especially if my mom asks me to.
To me, asking for free stuff when it isn’t a huge deal (we weren’t asking for a free chicken, here), is normal.
I’ve grown up doing this my whole life, and I am shameless in the asking, but I don’t expect anyone to give in to me all the time.
JUST A LITTLE IS ALL I NEED
My second story is short and of my grandmother. I don’t remember this happening but my dad said that when he was young, my grandmother would take him to the market and buy lots of food.
Before she left, she’d always ask for a freebie. Like just one or two stalks of a vegetable, or one or two carrots, just because she didn’t need to buy the whole bunch or package.
She only needed one or two, after all!
This became perfectly normal to my father, asking for just a little bit, but not enough to be imposing, and with my parents having grown up in poverty, it became part of their habits and lives… which they passed on to the rest of us shameless apples.
I wish I could remember other stories like this, but I’m sure you’d all be embarrassed for me and my family on the other side of the screen and never want to read this blog again.
Therefore, I’ll keep it to myself and only recount them if I am lucky enough to meet any of you in person 😉
IS BEING SHAMELESS REALLY SO VERY BAD?
I don’t really see anything VERY wrong with being shameless to a certain extent.
It helps with negotiations to not be ashamed of asking for a higher rate, for example. Or a better salary.
Or asking for a better service when you feel like you’ve paid for it.
I just think you have to know where the limits are, and to not (for example) like Shameless Culprit Thing One, ask for FREE MEALS to eat outside of the dinner BF was paying for, just so he wouldn’t have to pay for his own food for the week.
That isn’t being shameless, it’s being cheap.
Being shameless is seen as a bad thing, or at least, in a very negative light, but only if you really care about image to the point where you handicap yourself financially, or you just don’t get what you paid for or expected.
I guess it might be because I don’t really care about image. I do to a certain point, but sometimes you have to ask for what you want before you can get what you want.
Like all that free leftover food in the cafeteria for anyone to eat? I am the first one to spot it and have my plate out.
So what if people think I’m poor? Or that I can’t afford to pay full retail for something?
Or I’m trying to squeeze another $2 out of something?
It’s no skin off my back what they think of me, as long as I don’t cross the line throw a hissy fit or something similar because I couldn’t get 4 tubs of chili paste.
It’s just asking, politely, and it’s up to them to decide what they want to do or not do.
I respect either decision.
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
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HAHA. This post is hilarious! Sometimes when I feel broke, I just meet my friend supposedly for lunch. I will look through the menu pretend that there is nothing there for me. Wait a while, they couldn't finish their food and I will kindly offer them the service of clearing up their plate so that they won't suffer the bad karma from wasting food. I feel good helping a friend anytime (:
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Well I at least buy something 🙂 If someone truly cannot finish their food and THEY offer the food to me, then I’ll eat it.
But then I feel bad for eating the food for free and I reciprocate. It’s one thing to be shameless in a restaurant and ask for free stuff, it’s another to cheat and mooch off friends.
Taking leftover/extra food is NOT shameless!
Haha, growing up, my parents always went to banquets and large parties and it was absolutely encouraged to take the food leftover the event!
And now when I go to to events — whether a banquet or wedding — of other ethnicities (we're Lao), the people seem to love it when I pile plates up with food.
And now, as I am starting to host things, I take pride in seeing folks scrambling to take my leftovers! Doesn't mean you're poor to me … means you love my cooking or choice in caterers!
We bring tupperware to big parties 😉 HAHHA (okay not really.. but we almost want to).
I will take whatever I can get for free!
The thing that bothers people the most is that I will park on the street 3 blocks away if I have to in order to avoid paying for parking. I look at it as getting exercise and saving $5, so win – win.
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I will park up to a kilometer away to get free parking. HAHAHAHAHA!!
I hate paying. I just hate it if I can walk to where I need to be.
YES!! This is totally me and I can not break my habits.
I take splenda from starbucks, packets of ketchup, salt, pepper. I take home the little shampoos-even though I don't need them. Leftovers at work? check! I would even bring special tupperware for leftover.
However, the one thing I don't like to take is unhhealthy items. Free chocolate? meh. I'd rather have the sliced veggies and fruit.
I take extra granola bars, fresh fruit and tea from hotel bufffetts. When I was in Amsterdam-they had these cute little 1 serving containers of peanut butter, honey, and nutella. I hoarded those!
I don't even know *why* I love to take free items or leftovers. I have the money to buy my own splenda or peant butter-but I love the thrill of a good fine 😉
I don\’t take condiments because I don\’t use them and I find it easier to cook with one box of salt rather than opening each packet, but leftovers at work no one will eat? Yes.
As the "shameless" mom of this family, I am proud to say my kids have turned out the same. And my house is full of stuff from the recycling depot…nicer brands than I would have bought if I had tbought them from the store.
Oh, the stories I could tell! Thanks so much for sharing yours; I'm glad I'm not alone! And when someone calls us "cheap", let's wear it like a badge of honour, agreed?
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Well I wouldn\’t call myself cheap, as I would call myself.. er.. spending conscious 🙂
I do spend money on really nice items when I want to, but if I don\’t see the need or have to spend the money, I\’d rather not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That is awesome. I see absolutely no harm in being shameless because I do the exact same thing! I'm known as the office scavenger and typically am the last one to raid the fridge on Fridays for leftovers!
It's funny how people won't eat leftovers after one or two days.
It hasn't hurt me yet!
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I don\’t get the whole idea of not eating leftovers after 2-3 days. I know people get sick of them, but.. even so! Good is good.
That's pretty funny, FB.
I am the total opposite of that. I am way too shy to take free stuff. Even if it's candy in a bowl on a hotel reception desk counter. I always think: what will the receptionist think of me? Will they think I'm starving? Probably not, but still, I can't push myself to do it. I. just. can't.
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I'm way too timid to ask for things so "shamelessly" like that. I know the squeaky wheel gets the oil, but I don't typically ask for freebies of things like tubs of chili sauce. I wasn't raised that way. I suppose if I had been, I'd be more comfortable in doing so!
Now, will I take free food at work? OF COURSE! But I never go out of my way at restaurants or stores to ask for freebies. I'd say maybe I should start, but I know myself, and I know I'd turn crimson red if I even tried. But I sure could use someone like you to take along with me to ask for the free stuff!
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Oh Im completely shameless AND cheap! I always take any freebies I can get.
In my last job I would hang about waiting for private parties to finish so I could eat the leftover buffett.
My Grandma is the queen of cheap. She will order a side salad for a main at restaurants or her and my Papa will split a sandwich. Her kitchen cupboards are bursting with ketchup, sugar, creamer, napkins, anything not stuck to the walls in a restaurant she will take home.
When I stay in hotels I always take the little toiletries and teas, but that's normal right? Surely you are expected to do that. They come in soooo handy…Last year I never had to buy razors once because I would nab them everynight I stayed in a hotel.
Siobhan
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I always check what is happening with the leftovers at work – I currently have 3 containers of cut raw veggies in my fridge waiting for the stirfry tonight, and a small container of sweet pickels – all from leftovers at a work luncheon that were going to be thrown out. I have also taken furniture from the garbage pile on garbage day. I think it is wearing off on my son, last year he figured out that the day before recycling day was the best time to check peoples recycling bins for deposit returnables. He can make over $50 for one day's effort lugging bottles and cans home!
Ha! That was pretty funny. I never say no to free food. Office lunch leftovers? I'll take them. Though, now that my company has 70 people, that stuff goes pretty fast. Used to be just me.
In fact, just yesterday, I walked into my cube and found eggs (my friend has chickens), oranges, an avocado, and kale. (from 3 different people). Because they know I can use everything! And I love kale.
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Lol. Great post!
This post made me laugh so hard. My mother and I are shameless, my dad – not at all, but after years of going places with us, he has gotten over his embarrassment and has been known to hold onto our spoils whilst we tried for more. A shopowner looked at me once and said "always take your mother shopping with you" because she managed to talk him down on price even though a big ol' sign outside said "No Discounts" and get some free gifts out of him.
I totally agree with you – the worst anyone can do is say no. I'm willing to take a gamble any day.
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Your mom must be amazing at that 🙂
I’m pretty timid when it comes to asking for things that seem above and beyond the “norm”.
But, leftover food at work/school? I’m all over that! I think it’s pretty common for grad students to seek out and take any free food available, and I have no shame in using a take home container to take more than I can eat at one time. Someone’s gotta eat it, it might as well be me 🙂
And apparently my school believes in freezing us to death as well, I’ve been wearing my coat inside and having my fingers go numb when I sit at my computer. This is the case year-round, when it’s below freezing outside, and when it’s above 100 degrees F outside, but it seems extra bad when it’s cold outside and there’s no hope for warming up when I leave.
Well what\’s the \”norm\” for you?
There's a fine line between theft and asking extra because you're a customer or because something is available. I don't agree with the person who wrote about their mother taking hotel slippers. That's just theft. Instead of hiding things, why don't you ask the manager if you can have them? I used to have a manager who would go out of her own way to make customers happy.
I worked at a video store and one day a customer came in and asked the manager if she could buy a certain movie, it was a very old movie that wasn't on dvd anymore, the customer said to please sell it the dvd to her, because she couldn't buy it anywhere. My manager said yes, we did a sale on it, I've never experienced anything like that, BUT we wanted to make the lady customer happy and we did.
I don't see anything wrong with asking extra items from the restaurant or taking home extra leftover food from the retirement party. But I will not steal and no one should have any pride from stealing even from a business that makes millions. In the U.S. most companies will bend over backwards and forwards to make someone happy. I know this because I work in customer service while I work my way through college.
My daughters ballet shoes I ordered online did not fit. Before I could return them to the store, she glued fabric and other decor all over the box for a school project. I was gonna just pay for a new pair and forgo the exchange but I stapped on a pair and ripped the fabric off the box(in some areas also removing the top layer of cardboard) and took those suckers back for a pair that fit!
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At least she didn\’t glue stuff all over the shoes 🙂
LOL!! Great post! Totally made me laugh! 🙂
Hmmm… shameless.. I honestly can't think of anything. But if there's a "defect" or if something is a "floor model" i'll ask for a discount.. even if it's already on sale. I've never been told "no", so hey! 😉
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If I buy in bulk, I ask for a discount. It\’s just habit. In ANY store.
The other thing that's really embarrassing that keeps me from being shameless is that when it comes to food, I don't really like "fancy" food, especially fancy sweets or chocolate. My palate is kind of, um, unsophisticated, so when I get Godivas at the holidays, it mostly just gets given away to coworkers. And usually when I get taken to lunch, I just get something pretty simple with chicken. It's what I like.
In fact, I'm usually now the one that leaves all these boxes of chocolates, cookies, and other stuff I've been given out for everyone else. Lol.
I pass up on the free food unless I'm actually hungry or it's something I would buy myself to eat otherwise, but this is because I've had quite a few jobs that involved a lot of free meals, gifts of fancy chocolates, etc. In my world, if I was shameless, I would be 300 pounds.
No kidding!!! You could pass them over to me then 😛
I love it. I am ALWAYS that girl who takes the extra food. And I don't understand why… cause I have never NOT had food to eat. Growing up we always had food on the table. It was never an issue… so maybe it's just part of my frugality.
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It is just me, not wanting to waste and wanting to eat that food.
I wouldn\’t take it if I wouldn\’t eat it.
HAHAHAHA!
I remember when we were kids, my parents would ask us to go grab a handful of ketchup packages, salt, pepper from McDonald if we go and eat. They also love asking for plastic utensils and would ask us to go to counters to ask. I mean could resist saying no to 3 little cute girls ranging between 4 – 11? 😉
My mom would hide those free slippers the Hotel provided everyday so that they will give her a new pair! When I go visit her at her house, she has 6 -7 pairs of Hotel slippers on the doorway for her guests. I think it's pretty smart of her to do it though hahah!
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Oh those slippers are a good idea. You know, they\’re $1 – $2 in a dollar store or at a Chinese dollar store…
That sounds like theft, why didn't your mother just ASK for the slippers if she loved them so much. Most American companies bend backwards and forwards to help and please their customers. One time at a video store that I used to work at, a customer came in wanting a certain dvd that she couldn't find for sale, it wasn't sold anymore, we sold the dvd to her and she left happy.
There's a fine line between having freebies that are available and just typically stealing from a business, and so what if that business makes billions of dollars, its still theft.
My parents still do that w/ the packets!!!!!!!!!! Then they end up giving me a bunch b/c they have too much. My friends once thought I was so crazy for having so many ketchup packets!
Oh I don\’t take those packets though 🙂 I don\’t eat condiments in packets…. My parents used to take them. I forced them to throw them out or use them and never take any more.
I dealt with this a lot as a restaurant server. I always ended up getting what was requested because I admired their…cajones.
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LOL! 🙂
I don't see a problem with asking for a container of chilli sauce at all! Granted, I probably would have asked for "some", and ended up with 1 container rather than thinking to ask for 4 and getting 2 containers.
Like a lot of the other commenters on here, I'm pretty shameless when it comes to free food too, especially at work. Free fruit, cake, pizza, drink tickets (at events), or soft pretzels? I'm all over that. I've contemplated taking home some of the older bananas in the fruit basket at the end of the day to make muffins as well.
I've also taken in a container and sat it beside the coffee pot so that people could empty the coffee grounds into it. I take the grounds home and put them in the freezer. Come spring, I'll be putting them in my garden.
I have no qualms asking for a discount on slightly damaged clothing either. I don't see the shame in asking.
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My mom was specific to ask for 4 because she says the tubs are kind of small.. 🙂
I would totally take home those bananas. Muffins sound good right about now.
I'm iffy about using the word shameless. Why should I have shame about doing any of those things? The food is left out after the party because otherwise, it would go to waste. You can't hand this food to charity because of laws regarding food distribution, so its going to someone that values it. I wonder if the shame is imposed on "the shameless" by those that bought lunches. In that case, I feel bad for THEM They could have gotten free food!
In either case, I already have a reputation for being the office party spotter. I usually am eating the leftovers from someone's party and I definitely know no one in that department. Ah well.
This post made me laugh so bad….. 😉
I love it!
I have an Italian father in law, who thinks it's normal to haggle like that in every country. Let me tell you.. Dutchies are absolutely NOT used to haggling! Once in a while he gets a freebie (like a USB-stick when he purchased a car-stereo) but most of the time he just gets 'the look'.
I wouldn't dream of being so daring, honestly. Haggling is absolutely not my thing.
Best wishes form the Netherlands!
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I NEVER say no to free food. It's a habit I picked up from my on-campus studying days, when the $ were low and my appetite was big (I worked out every other day religiously).
When I go to a restaurant and order a "fancier" drink, i.e. something other than water or coke, I'll ask for the price. Some of my friends roll their eyes at this, but I've been surprised about drink prices before and don't want it happening again.
Oh and I picked up a perfect set of Magic Bullet from the recycling room at my condo. The previous owner left it with a nice little note saying it was in perfect condition and anyone's to take. I took it, I use it, and I brag about my "garbage bin find" to friends all the time!
If a piece of clothing I want has a stain/lost button on it, I'll insist that the store clerk check the back and the inventory for a "new" item. If they're all out, I'll ask for a discount.
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My dad fits your definition of being shameless. I can't remember everything he does now, but the kids used to be so embarrassed about what all the discounts and freebies he asked for. Now I know those extra efforts are a great way to save a bit of cash. I'll try to remember some stories and come back later.
I'm pretty shameless these days. If work is giving away free tea and coffee, I'll grab a few extra tea bags to stick in my drawer and they migrate to my home over time. The Mrs. still don't know how to ask for extras. 🙂
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Whenever he see someone chopping down trees, he would stop and ask for free fire wood.
We took furnitures from the free pile and trash bins.
He emptied out McDonold's napkins to use at home.
more like that… I think it's fine and I don't get embarrassed anymore.
Any more? 🙂 You felt bad doing it eh?
We grew up with that as a natural practice, so for us it was not a big deal.
My Mother-in-Law always asks for freebies no matter how expensive or cheap her meal was, she puts on the I am a silly old lady voice and can literally get blood out of a stone, I,m hoping I pick up a few tips.
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i am a SHAMELESS work food scavenger! But hate asking for things.
Honestly, I would never have thought to ask a restaurant for chili paste to take home. That is hilarious! You guys are like the queens and kings of freebies.
If T ever did the same, I'm pretty sure my parents' eyes wouldn't light up very much. We love free food and bargains, but I don't think we're quite as extreme as your family. (Er, I don't mean that to offend, so please don't take it the wrong way!) They're quite reserved and so even if they were thrilled by the offer I don't think they'd show it outwardly. I do wonder though if they would try to do that Asian thing of fighting over the bill, or just sit back and enjoy?
I think being shameless is a GOOD thing. If you can own it and be comfortable doing it, then more power to you. For me (wimp of wimps) probably the most shameless I get is asking for things I'm entitled to – but wouldn't otherwise actually get if I didn't ask. I'm talking little-known perks at work or little-advertised discounts in stores.
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OOps you weren\’t supposed to see that post yet 🙂 You saw it a few months early!
Damn my internet connection.
Anyway, my whole family is like that. We can\’t give up the lure of \”FREE\” which is why I struggle at times, being a minimalist and saying \”No\” (it hurts!)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! My parents don\’t fight over any bill, but we definitely ask for free stuff everywhere we go — my parents expect it now. It seems to give my parents a thrill. Me, I\’m totally shameless when asking. I don\’t ask in a rude manner, and I shrug it off if they say \”No\”. Most people are caught off guard though.