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Even though we don’t have a tradition of giving gifts to each other, this Christmas a friend of mine turned to me and said: OH YEAH! I have something for you!
Me: What?….. *thinking: Crap. I didn’t buy anything. We don’t have a tradition. Now WTF do I do?*
Friend: Here. I just bought this sweater thinking of you, I hope you like it.
Girl hands me a plastic grocery bag with the sweater in it.
Me: *opens the plastic grocery bag* Oh! Wow! It’s nice! Thanks! You didn’t have to do this!!!!!!!!!
NOTE:
Okay I admit it. I faked a little too much !!! in my response.
I’m not trying to be rude or to look the gift horse in the mouth but I don’t like clothing or jewelery as gifts because it rarely turns out well unless they REALLY know my taste.
Even with my mom, it’s a 50/50 hit and miss, because she chooses odd colours or things that are too frilly. I love her dearly but we are very different in clothing style and taste.
I’d rather not get anything at all, but I appreciate the sentiment behind giving me something.
We also have similar colouring and taste in colour preferences, so this was a VERY odd gift of mismatched tastes, so this sweater was from Banana Republic, in a weird oatmeal colour that doesn’t look good on anyone unless you have very specific colouring was a very odd gift.
When I got home with my new BR sweater, tags still on it, and I realized a few of things:
- It is too large for me. We’re also about the same size.
- It is too itchy for me. I have eczema so I avoid anything that makes me scratch.
- Tag still on it, but it was clearly not their current line-up (I shop at BR)
- IT SMELLED STANK LIKE MOTHBALLS — it was like they made love to that sweater.
I am not talking like a light hint of it, I am talking FULL ON, I can’t smell it without gagging mothballs.
Then I recounted what she told me about “just buying it”, and realized that she was just given it as a gift, so she re-gifted it to me.
It was either that, or she got it a while back as a gift, threw it at the back of her closet, cleaned out her closet later and thought: Who could I give this to?
Nice.
Look, if it was something I’d wear, and something SHE’D wear, why not? I don’t mind re-gifting, it’s a nice gesture that helps the environment and passes the love along. A person’s trash is another’s treasure.
But do NOT give something you KNOW is a bad gift, and isn’t flattering, useful or any of the above.
She definitely would not have worn it, which is why she gave it to me.
But I was suspicious of the whole sentiment to begin with because we’ve never gifted anything to each other in our lives.
So for everyone out there thinking of re-gifting next year, you better be darn sure the person can’t tell or at least tell them “I can’t use this, but I thought you might like it.”
Come clean, and at the very least, keep it mothball-free.
Over and out.
Have you ever caught someone red-handed? 🙂 Or have been caught, yourself?
EXTRA READING
- The Penny Frugalista: Re-Gifting Thrifted Gifts
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My middle stepdaughter hasn’t YET, in her ten-plus years of living-independently adulthood, picked out anything just for me.
It’s awkward and embarrassing, and I WISH SHE’D JUST STOP GIVING GIFTS AT ALL!
Yeah, really. I received a birthday gift from someone at work. A blouse in a dry cleaner bag. Oh the tag fell off, she said. Indeed the little plastic thing was attached. I thanked her for thinking of me.
I brought it home and took it out of the bag and found arumpled blouse with holes in it. and the care tag was all yellowed and rumpled and it said to remove the shoulder pads before dry cleaning. Well there were no shoulder pads. Really?
The only thing I tend to re-gift are chocolates. If it sits in the house, I will eat it, so I give it away quickly. Plus, my son has a peanut allergy and most of the chocolates we get contain nuts of some kind.
I would have asked your friend if she has the (gift) receipt or if she can exchange the sweater for you to a smaller size since it's too big…yeah, I know, I'm a sh*t disturber at times. LOL
I would definitely take those chocolates!!!! 🙂
Oh no. I wouldn\’t say that to my friend for a gift receipt. I was too panicked, thinking I forgot something.
when I was in high school, our group of friends decided to do secret santa. and if you know me, I take my gift giving seriously (as in I stress over what the person wants and making sure I don't disappoint). I gave a good give to my secret santa, but in return I got what I assumed was a regifted gift. it was too small for me, ugly, didn't have any tags and just wrong in every way. I was so pissed. it's one thing to not like a gift, but we did secret santa so we wouldn't spend money buying each friend a gift and here I was with the crappiest gift out of all the friends. I remember feeling really angry.. so I guess in some circumstances regifting is a no-no, but I'm all about reusing/recycling and wouldn't mind if I actually liked the item. (and how funny, just yesterday I watched an old episode of seinfeld regarding regifting).
Exactly! I don\’t mind regifting. I just want to be able to use it.
Haha, awesome! If you're going to re-gift you really need to put thought into it… a hasty re-gift rarely turns out well!
Hillarious!
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That story's hilarious. I would've thought she'd at least air the sweater out before re-gifting.
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That's so funny! Ask her, ask her- it's so totally bizarre.
One time my neighbor (who has 3 brain trauma injuries which takes away his impulse control) went on vacation. He had this rooster that kept flying out of his pen coming over and taking up residence with my hens. He crowed constantly outside of my bedroom window. After a few times returning him to his pen I finally gave up and brought him down to my parents neighborhood (60 miles away) and left him with one of the farmers.
The neighbor returns from vacation and calls me to ask if I'd seen his rooster. My kids are sitting right next to me and I say, 'No, I have no idea where your rooster may be.' I get off the phone, look at my young children and promptly call the neighbor and tell him what I did with the rooster. I think he was stunned…..my kids…..they laughed and laughed at they're lying Mom that got caught.
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What was her point ??? As you were not in the habit of exchanging gifts, what on earth possessed her to imagine that you would not instantly be suspicious of a large ugly sweater. Does your friendship not mean more than a regifted unwrapped gift ?????
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I was accused of regifting by my sister circa 2006 even though I did not. I used to buy stuff throughout the year and store it in my closet. I forgot about a pair of pajamas I bought at a Dallas mall a couple years prior. It was never opened and still had tags on it. I also bought a $20 gift card along with it. She refused both and I was really pissed off. I then turned around and gave her a $50 gift card. I still wear those pajamas today. My sister was such a b!tch.
You friend should have at least put the sweater in a gift bag. I have no problems with regifting…just being accused one. Lol.
What a bummer of a regift! But I had to laugh a little, because it reminds me of the episode of The Office when Creed gives Jim an old shirt in a plastic bag as a Secret Santa gift (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgohZtd558Q).
Anyway, the only time I can remember re-gifting something was when I got a Bath and Body Works basket full of products in a scent I didn't really like. I was just going to exchange it, but then I drew someone in Secret Santa that I knew loved the scent, and just passed it on, unopened, the same year, and I'm pretty sure she didn't know (and I know she liked it). I didn't really need a whole basket of products anyway! I've definitely gotten some things in secret santa or other gift exchanges that seemed re-gifted, but nothing too awful.
You can look under the tag and find the BR date!.That will tell you how old the sweater is. i think you should just send it on its way. the story you got out of it is the gift!
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Hmmm… I don't know if I have or not… I don't usually "re-gift", but when we do, it's actually a new item, not one that's "unwanted". We received a double of a movie I just bought last month for Xmas.. so we regifted the newer movie (still wrapped in plastic) to one of dh's buddies.. he was thrilled to add it to his DVD collection and I dont' feel bad for not having a use for a 2nd copy of a movie.
I have never re-gifted mainly because I feel like people would know! I don't want to come off as cheap or rude. I know its all about perceptions (and I actually have never even considered the "green" argument for re-gifting) but I'd rather give them a thoughtful card or take them out to dinner than to be seen as a bad gift giver.
Thanks for saying what we all are thinking! Re-gifting okay, but fess up! There is nothing more insulting than having someone give you a gift that is so obviously not suited to your style or personality. I agree, please just don't give me a thing (except maybe a nice big hug?). Sorry about the stanky mothballs sitch, how terrible. Happy New Year! Love, A
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I re-gift, but I do it properly so you can't even tell! Most often for secret santa or other mandatory gift swaps where it doesn't really matter.
I get a lot of things via my job and blogging and my friends and family know this. I don't think I could do a crappy re-gift and get away with it! I just give "gifts" throughout the year and tell them where it came from. They still appreciate it!
For my close friends and family, I love shopping and hunting for the perfect gift. Even if I have a great "re-gift" item I can give them, I still want to find something personal to get them! That's where the fun is!
What a bummer for you, FB. Maybe you can sell it on eBay after you air it out a bit?
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My brother's girlfriend re-gifts things to me all the time and I don't mind it. She doesn't do it for birthdays or Christmas' or anything like that, but more on a whim without any special occasion. She's thoughtful and sweet that way. But it's also because she has a wonderful and sunny way of doing it. She's always honest about it. And uses the “I can’t use this, but I thought you might like it” line. So I can take it or leave it, it's that simple. Most of the time I take it (because I'm really frugal :), but I really appreciate the fact that she thought about me, it's a nice gesture.
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I once got a friend two bottles of wine from a special small vineyard in Tuscany. A month later we invited him for diner and he brought a present. That wine, that he 'bought' on recommendation of our local winery. Yeah right. At least we liked the wine 😉
I don't like the re- gifting idea. I've had some gifts that I know have been re-gifted and I've liked, but then you always tend to get the junk no one else whats. I received one this year from my sister which is a set of bowls spelling out NOEL which you can put nuts or candy etc. in them. I know it's from Shoppers Drug Mart because it says so on the back packaging, but what year? There is tape in different spots from the originally way she tapped it. and it just looks outdated packaging wise. Because it is from my sister I really don't know weather to laugh or cry. Is she truly thinking I would like this crap or just stretching her dollars for items she doesn't have to purchase. In any case I guess I should cry because really I would have preferred nothing then this thoughtless re-gifted gift.
LOL how bogus. I've given away gifts before, but I did specifically state "I don't want this, do you?"
wow….that's just horrible. I've never been gifted something that was obviously meant for someone else – but Jordan's mom did give me a sweater and told me she got it from XYZ upscale store b/c of the high quality (even left the store's bag in the box she wrapped it in) – but here's the thing.
I bought the same damn sweater for my mom at Costco.
Sheesh.
She shouldn't have tried to fake it, it cheapened the whole thing.
I like the sweater, but I like it a lot less b/c she tried to make me think it was something it wasn't.
I don't like the re- gifting idea. I've had some gifts that I know have been re-gifted and I've liked, but then you always tend to get the junk no one else whats. I received one this year from my sister which is a set of bowls spelling out NOEL which you can put nuts or candy etc. in them. I know it's from Shoppers Drug Mart because it says so on the back packaging, but what year? There is tape in different spots from the originally way she tapped it. and it just looks outdated packaging wise. Because it is from my sister I really don't know weather to laugh or cry. Is she truly thinking I would like this crap or just stretching her dollars for items she doesn't have to purchase. In any case I guess I should cry because really I would have preferred nothing then this thoughtless re-gifted gift.
I'll pass it on to Value Village where they can sell it and the charity of the month will benefit.
Thanks for this great post because you gave me the greatest way to outlet my feelings.
Okay that is just mean and stupid. Period! Why would she do that?
I don't mind re-gifting, but that sounds like a bad re-gifting idea. I only ever re-gift during secret-Santa parties or for the White Elephant gifts. I'd never re-gift a crummy gift to a good friend or family member. Since you and your friend don't exchange gifts, I'm curious as to why she decided to dump her sweater on to you? If she didn't want it, she could have sold it on eBay!
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I rarely regift. I just put the unwanted/unreturnable gifts in my Goodwill pile. Best way to handle it! I have one friends who gives me used books that I've seen on his shelf that he passes off as new. Annoying, but he's such a great friend otherwise that I overlook it. 😛
Are you kidding me? Now that's bad..lol ….not to mention, she gave it you in a plastic bag. Seriously, what was she thinking? I have not done much re-gifting my self, the only things I re-gifted were bottles of wine, I prefer white, don't drink much red, so the red I pass on to those red wine lovers. The most interesting gift I got in recent memory, was about 2 yrs ago, from family friends, as my house warming gift. I got a picture (one of those rolled up one, you open and just hang on the wall) and some ugly table runners. We are close, they know what I like, don't like and more importantly what I needed, but all the things I got, were re-gifted. I felt sort of like I wish I didn't get a gift at all. Personally, if I buy gifts for whatever occasion, if I am unsure of what type of gift, a gift card (like a Visa gift card( is a safe way to go, along with something else,
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When I was teaching, I received several bottles of wine from students. I don't drink wine, so when my sister invited me to supper, I took a bottle of wine as a hostess gift.
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Ugh. I hate dishonesty like that. I have nothing against regifting, but if I'm going to do it it will be something like, "I got this recently but it's [too small / not vegan / not a good color on me]. I thought you might like it. If you do, it's yours!" I'm often giving away used items to friends anyhow. I have a "Goodwill" bin that I occasionally point friends to in case they want anything from it.
Bad bad regift, that sucks. I have regifted bath stuff I won't use, due to my sensitive skin, but it has to be within a short time frame of when I've received it, and I have to be sure the other person will enjoy it. I got a hideous cat sweater this year from my MIL, and someone suggested I regift it. I said, if one day, I come across someone who is my size, and would genuinely love a red fleece sweater with cat appliques, then perhaps, I'll pass it on, but I strongly doubt that day will come, and so it will probably end up, unworn, in my Goodwill pile. To regift something to get rid of it is pretty slimy. I'd be embarassed to pass this sweater on to anyone I love, as they'd know I didn't pick it out for them.
I don't think I could ever "regift" to someone but I often receive things I don't want and ask my friends to come over to see if they want any of it. We rarely do gifts and they often do the same for me (sharing items that no longer fit or items that aren't their style but may be mine). It works as more of a every-so-often trade system more than a regifting.
Wow. She gave you the sweater when it was too big for her and the two of you are the same size? What did she think you were going to do – grow into it?
I don't mind thoughtful re-gifting. When I was younger, I received a gameboy because the intended recipient already had one. I still think that was the best gift ever:). You friend was just sloppy in their re-gifting. *smh*
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Ergh, I find that type of re-gifting rude. I feel like the person doesn't want to deal with it properly if it's bad/broken/unusable, so they let someone else deal with it. One of our neighbours works at a grocery shop, and always gifts us food that has 'just' gone out of date. We also have a few packs of bath+perfume sets or soaps that people have obviously regifted us (old fading packaging, crumbling soap) and now we have to deal with it. I don't know why it offends me so much, but it makes me feel as if I'm a rubbish bin to someone else and their hands are clean.
I do agree with re-gifting, but like you said, not if it is actually an obviously bad gift.