Before we start, you should really download and listen to this MP3 from This American Life “Scenes from an American Mall”.
It isn’t the best they’ve done, but it’s interesting nonetheless.
It’s only available to download for free on the site from Sunday December 12th 2010 to Saturday December 18th 2010. After that, it’s $0.99 per download of any archived MP3s.
QUESTION: HOW NOT TO SPEND MONEY
allisonmcneely asked from my September 2010 Budget Roundup:
I would LOVE it if you could do a post on how to *not* spend money.
I am currently in my first, “real” full time job in which I make a decent living and only have to support myself.
While I am saving 18% of my income every month, I find that I frequently go over budget in areas like groceries and entertainment.
I just find new ways to spend my money, no matter how much I make. I’m very aware of it and I am trying to get it under control, but it’s definitely challenging.
ANSWER: IT TAKES TIME TO ADJUST & BE REALISTIC
Long story short, this is not easy.
(And sorry for the very late reply!!)
Anyone who has debt and/or likes to spend, knows that saving money is really difficult, even painful.
I’d like to mention that if you are saving 18% of your income? That’s AWESOME.
The rule of thumb on the road to riches is usually 10%, and you’re saving 8% above that, which is absolutely fantastic.
However, if you are frequently going over budget in areas like groceries and entertainment, I am going to assume you didn’t budget for it, and you had to take the difference out of your savings which says the following:
1) You are saving too much money (Wait, is that even possible? Yes. Yes it is.)
2) You are actually saving 18% of your income without the overages in your budget. So really, you’re saving 10%?
In that case, then maybe you need to raise your grocery and entertainment expenditures.
HOW MUCH TO SPEND?
Here’s a pie chart of the rule of thumb of spending percentages of what you should spend based on your net income:
Note: This is just a guideline.
You can decide to spend 50% of your income on your Housing if you wanted, if you don’t need Transportation at all. Or if you don’t have debt repayment at 15%, throw that into Life or your Savings.
This is very generic and not at all meant to force you to do anything by those numbers.
GENERAL SAVINGS ARE 10%
As you can see in that chart above, your savings can only be 10% if you wanted (still a very admirable amount of savings) and your life expenses can be up to 25% of your net income!
You really don’t need to save that much if you cannot seem to make it work.
That being said, you seem determined to save 18% of your income and to try and learn how to control your urges to find new things to buy and to go over in your grocery and entertainment budgets, so here are my tips!
PERSONALLY, I JUST BECAME A MINIMALIST
Other than the tips that are coming up below, I justย became a minimalist.
I know this is not everyone’s cup of tea so I can’t suggest it as a rule for your life, but why it works is because..
I removed the money factor from my spending.
Now I evaluate items based on want/need & portability.
I’ve found that once I stopped worrying about the cost of the item, how much I was spending and how much I wasย not saving, it stopped being a factor.
I curbed my desire to spend simply by not wanting the actual item itself.
That is not to say I only have 5 tops for work and 3 pairs of pants (goodness no), but now when I go to the store (in 2011 I mean), I look at what they’re selling and I think about what I already own, what I have and use on a regular basis, and I put it back. Most of the time ๐
I do the same thing in grocery stores. I think:ย Do I really want to spend that $40 on a couple of super large tiger shrimp?
More often than not, I put those kinds of extravagant luxuries back, because there will come a time on a birthday, anniversary or celebration of some sort, where it WILL be worth it to buy the super large tiger shrimp, but having it everyday as a permanent, habitual treat stops being luxurious.
But if you can’t go that route, do not fear! I do have 6 other tips (before Minimalism) that helped straighten me out.
BEFORE WE START
I know Allison is tracking her expenses and has a budget. How can she not? She knows what she’s saving.
As for my story, when I first started budgeting and tracking my expenses, I couldn’t believe how much money I was wasting.
I wasn’t in credit card debt, I was paying off my student loans, but I was SQUANDERING MY MONEY.
I spent $300 – $600/month on CLOTHES (bonkers!), and that was the real eye opener. When I saw my spending at the end of the year, let alone each month, I realized I needed to make a change.
The problem a lot of people run into is not seeing the big picture. How much do you spend on non-essentials per MONTH? Per YEAR?
It can be easy to say: I deserve a new watch. A new laptop. A vacation. A new car.
But when you start looking at the final numbers of what that new car will cost you ($400/month = $4800/year), you start to realize what you’re giving up just to drive in it.
It is so easy to feel like you deserve a vacation every 4 months for a little shopping trip to NYC. But our brains aren’t rational when it comes to lust. We want what we want, now and we don’t want to wait for it.
In the end, you might buy that car or go on that trip anyway, and that’s cool as long as you cut back in other areas like eating out or shopping.
6 TIPS ON HOW TO NOT SPEND MORE THAN WHAT YOU MAKE
- Don’t even get tempted
- Do not go out without a purpose or if you are hungry
- Remind yourself of your goals/budget
- Be realistic
- Change your mindset
- Keep luxuries as they are — luxurious and rare
TIP #1: DON’T EVEN GET TEMPTED
I avoid going to shop just for fun.
This has singlehandedly been my most effective way to get me not to spend any money at all. I don’t see it? I don’t buy it.
I do watch a lot of TV nowadays (damn hotel room), but whatever I see on TV doesn’t interest me for some reason.
I think it’s partly due to the fact that I also hate to online shop. I like to online browse, but to actually buy something, I need to be in person, touching the item and justifying to myself I need another dress.
Online shopping or seeing it on TV doesn’t do it for me.
TIP #2: DO NOT GO OUT WITHOUT A PURPOSE
When I was sad, I shopped.
When I was happy, I shopped.
When I was hungry, I bought more.
Eat before you go grocery shopping, and if you need to hit a mall, make sure you have a list in hand.
TIP #3: REMIND YOURSELF OF YOUR GOALS/BUDGET
I find that a budget is wholly useless without goals.
So what is your goal? Why do you want to save that 18%?
Are you saving 10% for retirement and 8% for a 2-week vacation to Spain?
Whatever it is, put a picture on a sticky note, or some sort of reminder, and every time you whip out cash or a card, your goal is right there, staring at you from your wallet.
My goal for instance, is to be financially secure so I never have to worry about anything especially in my line of work. That healthy fear keeps me from going out and impulse shopping.
I also spend a lot of time making sure I am not spending by looking at my budget. This is the reason why I never leave receipts to the end of the week, let alone the end of the day.
Whenever I spend on something, I keep the receipt, pay it off immediately and put it right into my budget so my numbers are all up to date.
Then I remind myself of what I have available to spend for the month.
Wash, Rinse. Repeat.
TIP #4: BE REALISTIC
Why is your grocery or entertainment categories X amount per month?
(Please don’t take these as vicious “arrgggghh be more frugal!!” stabs to your character or lifestyle.ย I am just listing out what the reasons could be but I am not saying they all apply to you, if at all!)
Perhaps you are just spending extra in the grocery department because of the following reasons:
- you don’t meal plan ahead of time, so you buy one-off items or spices without a cohesive plan to use it all
- you are including toiletries, flowers, or anything non-foody in your “groceries” budget
- you aren’t shopping in the cheapest places you can find (ethnic grocery stores, budget stores)
- you aren’t using coupons when you can (note: I rarely use coupons, they never apply to what I buy)
- you don’t like to cook so you buy pre-made foods — more money spent per gram/ounce
- you don’t like to eat the same thing twice, so you shop 3-4 times a week
- you like to buy very expensive food — organic, specialty <— ME!!! ๐
- you don’t have an idea of your regular staples in your pantry — rice, pasta — so you don’t stock up on sales
- you like to buy a lot of snacks on a regular basis — soda pop, ice cream, chips, candy, cookies, mochi
- you want to
The above list is not comprehensive, but it’s all little areas that add up in a grocery budget.
Being realistic of what you like to eat and spend your money on, is the first step to making sure what you’ve set out for yourself is correct.
If you want to buy chips every week, no problem, but that better be worked into your food budget.
The general rule of thumb is about $150 – $250/month per person for groceries.
I once spent up to $400/month for just myself, because of a combination of the above factors.
As for entertainment, maybe you need to simply cut back on the amount of times you go out with your friends (have 2 stay-at-home weekends per month) or set a budget in cash before you go.
Bring out $50, and once it’s gone, it’s gone.
TIP #5: CHANGE YOUR MINDSET
You mentioned wanting a lot of things.
Me too! ๐
The difference between the Me now, and the Me before, is I ask myself the following:
- Does it help my life in any way?
- Do I really need it?
- Do I really want it?
- Is it just a treat or an impulse buy?
- Do I already have something similar in multiples?
- Can I afford it right now, cash, without de-railing myself?
- Is it a good price for the quality?
- Can I get it for cheaper?
- Can I get a substitute that will do just as well?
- Do I have any big purchases coming up?
- Is it portable and able to easily move with me?
After the first 4 or 5 questions, I don’t even make it to the end with portability.
My desire for the item is quenched and then I run online to check my bank balances, open up my budgeting spreadsheet to check my budget, my goals and my progress, and I sit back, happy as a clam.
TIP #6: KEEP LUXURIES AS THEY ARE
This is definitely a lifestyle inflation lesson.
The way to start coping with this is to let regular purchases — your hair cut, your nights out — become luxuries, so that you don’t feel deprived.
I feel really good when I can go and get my hair cut, because I don’t do it every 3 months, more like every 6 months once I can find time or remember to book an appointment.
When I go, I get my head massaged, hair washed and I come out feeling great. It’s a treat, even if it’s a regular, on-going purchase.
As for actual luxuries, if I were to buy expensive foods each week or go out to party every single week, they’d stop being treats or little luxuries I enjoy, but permanent items in my budget.
So my budget goes up another $50/month, and then it feels ‘normal’.
Then to feel more luxurious, I up the ante by buying another more expensive treat (truffle chocolates or something), and that pushes my budget up another $50/month.. and so on.
It’s a cycle that can be hard to break once you’re living the luxurious lifestyle.
IN SUMMARY: YOU HAVE TO WORK AT IT A LOT
The bottom line is that you cannot expect to just wake up one day and want to stop spending less.
It just doesn’t happen over night, at least it didn’t to me.
It’s still a work in progress for me not to go crazy, especially when I am on vacation (Ahhhh!! All these foreign candies!)
You have to exercise your do-not-spend-more muscle, and over time it will get stronger and stronger to the point where it becomes a habit.
After 3 years, I finally feel comfortable in my discipline to keep my spending down, and I watch my impulsiveness.
You won’t even think twice about wanting to go out to spend $100 any more. You just won’t do it, or you’ll let yourself spend $50 but no more.
If you want more motivation, read this Money Sense article about The Delgado Family originally shared by hithat’smybike (awesome blog).
For a little teaser on the article:
The Delgados are just starting out, but theyโre already in the hole by almost $400,000.
They have hardly any equity in their new home, theyโre leasing an expensive Lexus car, and they have $34,000 owing on high-interest-rate credit cards and a line of credit.
The couple needs to reduce their monthly expenses.
โThe Delgados certainly donโt overspend but for the next 18 months, they need to do everything they can to cut costs and put the excess cash towards the debt,โ says Prime.
They can start by trimming their $1,800 restaurant bill, the $2,760 they pay for clothes and haircuts, as well as the $4,000 they spend on vacations.
Cutting those bills in half will save them a hefty $4,000 a year.
Then, when their car lease comes up, they should consider leasing a cheaper vehicle. โThose savings, too, should go towards their debt.โ
This stuff adds up:
- Eating Out: $1800 = $150/month on eating out or $5/day
- Clothes & Haircuts: $2760 = $230/month or $7.66/day
- Vacations: $4000 = $333/month or $11.11/day
They’re small amounts each day, but they add up to big numbers at the end.
FOR LAUGHS: DON’T BUY STUFF YOU CANNOT AFFORD (SNL)
This is just a clip I snagged from YouTube.
Spokesman: Well, youโre not the only ones. Did you know that millions of Americans live with debt they cannot control? Thatโs why I developed this unique new program for managing your debt. Itโs called [presents book] โDonโt Buy Stuff You Cannot Afford.โ
Wife: Let me see thatโฆ [grabs book, reads] โIf you donโt have any money, you should not buy anything.โ Hmm, sounds interesting
Husband: Sounds confusing.
Wife: I donโt know honey, this makes a lot of sense. Thereโs a whole section here on how to buy expensive things using money you save.
Husband: Give me thatโฆ [grabs book, looks at it] And where would you get this saved money?
Via Frugal Fellas who have the whole transcript written out for those of you (and me ๐ ) who can’t access Hulu to see the whole skit.
It might sound weird, but looking at the things I have wasted my money on keeps me from spending. Whenever I go on cleaning binges and get rid of things, I think, “Gosh, what a waste,” which helps me keep my finances in perspective.
Tip #5 should be posted in every store in the world! Although, that would likely not help retailers stay in business! If I had a dollar for everytime a friend started telling me about all of the items that they purchase and never use, I would be fabulously rich! I'm guilty of the same behavior sometimes, but I will happily return something if I have not used it withing a couple weeks of purchasing.
HAHHAHAAHA!!
If only. I\’d be rich too ๐
Good tips. I say tip #4 is the most important (imo). Once you have that, I feel like the other tips are easier to come by. And tip #2!!! Everytime I enter a mall, store, whatever, I remind myself that I came here for A, B, and C ONLY or that I just came to look (because sometimes eye shopping is as fun as shopping-shopping). And let me also add, I love TAL. I think I've heard almost all the shows.
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Thanks Caroline ๐
I just had a thought when I saw the 18% figure. If she's in Canada, 18% is the maximum you're allowed to put into your retirement accounts before you get dinged with taxes. If the 18% is going into a retirement account, she could get her employer to adjust the amount she's paying in income tax to account for it. That way instead of getting a lump return when she files her taxes, she'll just have the additional money on every pay check. She may find that she actually does have room in her budget for those grocery and entertainment extras.
Really enjoying your blog. Swing by and say hi sometime ๐
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I\’m adding you to my reader ๐
Yeah, long post, but definitely very useful. It sounds like you're speaking from experience so great job on the reform. ๐
The Delgados dug themselves a HUGE hole. They had no emergency saving and that put them in a precarious position, then emergencies happened. If they had more financial savvy, they would have ignored the bad advice given to them about moving.
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I was very aggressive when I made the decision to pay off my debt fast. I made a 6 month commitment to live in this extreme manner. The worst I figured could happen is that I wouldn't like it, go back to spending like I had BUT I would have my credit card debt paid WAY down. The good thing is that I stuck with it and use much of you advice to make it happen. I do agree with you somewhat about taking it slow but it was really inspiring when I got that first credit card paid off so fast.
This is a great post, by the way.
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What about the good ‘ole days when a girl could just marry rich and live in the lap of luxury. Sigh. I miss those days. All of this hard work is tiring. ๐
*laughing*
The things girls have to do these days ๐ Like WORK.
Whoa, there's so much here. I don't think that 18% is too much at all. You definitely have to be conscientious with overages because in the endm consistent small overages can make a big difference in your overall budget, net worth, and even retirement.
I liked this post. It is full of helpful info. Also, it was nice to hear your thoughts on how being a minimalist shifts your focus.
Great post! I don't really have a saving percentage goal. We generally don't spend much on 'wants', so we just save whatever is left at the end of the month. (We do have certain things we do save for, but sometimes there is 'extra' savings.)
So you don\’t pay yourself first?
Well, I guess it is a combination of methods. We always put enough into our 401k to max that out. We also invest a certain percentage into a Stock purchase plan and college funds. That is our 'required' savings. We then allocate a certain amount of money each month toward vacations, summer camps, and taxes. Anything left over after that goes into index funds. However, it isn't like I say 'we must save 14 percent this year'.
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Wow, this was an amazingly, awesome, all-encompassing post. I want to print it out as a reminder.
When folks at work occasionally poke fun at me for carrying my lunch each day, I pointed out that over five years, it adds up to a new car. I was pointing this out right after I bought a new car (because my hubby got into an accident with the old one and totaled it).
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Wow thanks ๐
People would make fun of you for eating your own lunch? I know people here who would die to eat half my lunch. ๐ They always beg me to cook FOR them, to which I ask for $20. ๐
Awesome post!!! ๐ I just figured out my savings and we're at 19%.. (and many months I sock away more when I can!) for a one income family with 4 kids, I think we're doing well with our savings. The thing is our income will be dropping next summer, and i'm unsure where to put our savings. Right now most of it is going to Emergency savings, and the rest to long term because in 6 months we won't be able to save nearly as much so i'm trying to beef things up now…
19% = AMAZING.
I think it\’s great you\’re saving so much especially for 4 kids, and one income. I guess it makes sense because if there were 2 incomes, it\’d be 10% each income to be saved. So total = 20%?
It has been really hard changing my view point, but I believe I am getting better. Thank you so much for all the advice!
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You are welcome ๐
WOW. Talk about comprehensive post! Great job. I like how you put your own twist on it all b/c its all from your perspective. Not just the normal "be frugal.. watch what you spend".. its more on a pyschological, behavioral, and mental level of how we approach our purchases and decisions. I think the mind is the most overlooked aspect in all of what we do, most decisions we make are simple ones, we choose to make them complex. It's all about weeding out all the b.s. in every situation and identifying the root fundamentals of it all. In this situation, its simple, you have money and you want something, do you need it? Answer that.
I love how you boiled down my whole post into one sentence:
You have money. You want something. Do you need it?
๐ Thanks!
HAHAHAHA. I am a simple dude. After reading through it, I summed it up in that. I like living by single sentence statements!
I know. But people like hearing you type out all the info based on that one sentence ๐
Excellent Advice. I liked your comment about preparing to go out, by having a purpose and not leaving your house hungry. I always do that, and end up eating out.
Thanks Matt.
I find I buy more and I buy junkier foods if I don\’t eat beforehand.
These are great tips! I am figuring out how much I spend a year on each category so I can do better next year! I spent at least $1500 this past year on clothes! *gasp*…and $600 bucks on phone bill / year?…. I don't think I included the shopping sprees I went on in the States as well…. yeah…looking at how much I spend in a year on each category really motivates me to do even a better job at saving next year..especially the amount of money I need to spend too! ๐
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The way I am starting to train myself now is: Do I want to buy this, or put the money into savings like in a stock so that it generates more money?
If I buy it anyway, it means I really wanted it. If I decide to keep my cash it\’s because I\’d rather save it.
Nice post! I would simply add that if this person doesn't have any retirement accounts, then the 18% may be for that as well as normal savings? That was simply my first thought.
Anyway, on the subject of shopping, my new trick is to keep a running list of shopping "needs" in my phone, so that if I find myself really wanting to take advantage of a sale, I look at my list and see "thick brown belt" and buy that, instead of yet another blue cardigan (I think I have 4, why do I keep buying them?!). Of course, there could be a time when that list has nothing on it except for "STOP BUYING STUFF" because I've perfected a wardrobe (HAH), but more often than not, it'll simply keep me from buying more clothes that don't really get worn, and at least get me buying the stuff that I've dreamed of, really need, or forgot that I needed (such as a new white t-shirt since I recently stained the heck out of mine!!). In the end, I shop less, but I also shop smarter.
Good point. 18% may be for an EF and retirement.
I\’m the same way with shopping needs! OMG ๐ I keep a list. Just the other day I wrote: dark grey sweater or something that doesn\’t match my #*$!$( pants so I look deranged.
Then I deleted it off my list because I realized I have sweaters, just not here with me so it\’d be a waste.
I LOVE THIS POST, FB! It's really hitting home and this advice/guidance is exactly what I needed to read today. I started putting my head on straight about money in April of this year and it's still taking time to "stick."
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I hope it sticks ๐ I really put myself through a list of questions to make sure I really want it.
Food on the other hand, seems to be an easy place for me to \’waste\’ money because it\’s not an item. *sigh*
It really is an ongoing thought process. You can't really get lax, because it's amazing how much things can add up when you don't think about it.
One thing I also like to ask myself is "do I have a place for it" / "where will this be stored when not in use". Our apartment has limited storage space available (the air conditioner, mop, vacuum, cleaning & laundry stuff and fiance's old/spare computer monitor are taking up all the available closet space!)
In terms of food, we budget around $350 for two people for the month, and we could certainly spend less if I could convince fiance to shop at the low end grocery stores more frequently – he doesn't like the quality of produce and meat there though, so we do pay a little more for that.
I found my expenses getting ahead of me with Christmas this month. I had budgeted more money for Christmas gifts (since December is a 3-pay month), but that means I lose out on savings, since that 3rd pay is going to gifts instead. I'm still putting a fair chunk into savings, but not as much as I wanted to. Adulthood is surprisingly expensive!
I love the space question — I do the same.
Adulthood is really expensive. I mean, aside from rent and whatever else, it\’s amazing what you shell out for.
When I was a kid, although I knew "money doesn't grow on trees", I still felt like if I made $1000 a month (a large number in my mind), that would be plenty to live off of! Of course, in my head, I wasn't considering paying rent, or utilities, or anything of that sort – I was simply thinking $1000 that I could do whatever I wanted with.
Oh the naivete!
That\’s cute. I thought $200 was a lot of money per month. Oh.. little me. ๐
18% is good, but if you are spending on things you don't value… then why?
These are good tips. You just have to be REALLY committed to it. I found I'm much less committed to my budget lately, and I either should adjust the budget to what I can commit to, or adjust my commitment! I'm leaning towards the former.
(Also, this american life will allow you to stream (not download) any old episode. I'm a huge fan of the show!)
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Good point about streaming American Life. In that case I should suggest one of their archived MP3s.
I need to adjust my commitment as well. It\’s not the budget or the money that worries me, it\’s that I don\’t need to worry about the money that makes me so lax.
Very impressive post! A thought: when you are young and single, you have zillions of wants and also SHOULD go out with friends. But you can usually find an alternative that's cheaper: go out for coffee and pastry instead of lunch; go out for lunch instead of dinner. Go to a museum (esp on pay what you will day) and then have a bite to eat in the restaurant.
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Thanks ๐
I do like cheaper alternatives if I can get the same feeling/use/love out of it as if I paid more or bought new.
Hence why that tea party was not on my list of things I wanted to do. The atmosphere doesn\’t appeal to me.
Wow, what a long and informative post.
Overall, I'm with FB. Saving 18% is pretty darn good. As long as you are doing that, or at least 10%, don't worry so much about going over budget. Life is no fun when you're living based off an excel sheet.
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That\’s so true!