Inspired by Paranoid Asteroid’s “Getting Old” post, it made me realize that sometimes I feel downright awkward around people my age.
(Jersey Shore morons.)
Update: I think some people are getting really hung on up on my bashing of the show, but I am talking more about NORMAL people who act in the style of the show.
As pointed out, they make $60,000 per episode, yes.. but there are real people out there who act and emulate them, who are normal kids that don’t make $60,000 per episode to be drunk and stupid.
Don’t get caught up in the actual show as the main focus of this post, I am talking about the show as an example of behaviour that exists and has been encountered in real life.
Not specifically these reality TV show stars.
I also said below: I don’t understand those shows, and not once did I write I don’t understand how these people are making so much money per episode on a show.
It was more of a: I don’t understand how what they do can be considered as a fun, exciting lifestyle.
I understand that it’s just a business to act stupid and sell the episodes because people are tricked into thinking it’s reality like The Hills. I meant more along the lines that I didn’t understand the behaviour in general, seeing as it occurs in real life WITHOUT those normal folks making $60,000 an episode.
So please, stop commenting on the show specifically. I hope this clarifies things.
I am not into wild, drunken partying such as drinking to get hammered on the weekends, I can recall doing it perhaps 3 times in my first year of college. (Actually, I don’t really like to drink.. not even wine.)
I don’t understand shows on MTV like Jersey Shore, although a recent episode of “Bones” made me laugh when Bones called them a tribe and tried to imitate their behaviours.
I have never found going to a beach, drinking and hanging out for 2 weeks in my bathing suit even remotely interesting. I’d rather fly to a country and explore it as if I were a native living there.
I made some bad money decisions and I still make some stupid impulse ones, but I can say that I’ve never taken out my money ahead of time with a payday loan cashing center (they’re pirates) or spent my entire paycheque on drinking, partying, drugs, candy and/or entertainment, only to end up broke at the end of the payday.
I sleep at around 9:00 p.m. and wake up without an alarm clock at 5:00 a.m. everyday. Sleeping in, doesn’t mean sleeping in until noon or 1 p.m. for me, it means I am sleeping until maybe 8 a.m. at the latest.
I feel like I don’t know what to talk about sometimes.
I can’t relate, and while I have a few very good friends who do all of the above but can still connect on a very deep level with me, it’s an interesting observation to make about oneself.
I feel awkward around some people my age, which is enough.
I guess I’ve always felt older. Like in my 30s. Maybe having slightly irresponsible hippie-like parents have made me grow up faster than I normally would’ve.
Can’t get enough? Read another female Canadian blogger I ADORE — Krystal’s take on the whole thing @ Krystal at Work, Budgets are Bold and Sassy, and Little Miss Moneybags chimed in about the opposite effect — adults not feeling like they’ve grown up and that people will catch them pretending to be an adult. I have the opposite feeling — I feel like I am acting older than what society says I should be acting as.
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I began to notice some 30 years ago (I'm in my 50s) that I didn't relate well to people of my own age, and I've managed to keep that view for 30 years. Back when I was 25 I saw people getting married and wanting to accumulate stuff when I wanted to travel. In my 30s I was still traveling and people my age were breeding. I knew people slightly older than me who I considered to be dead. The had done the school/marriage/house/kids thing and lived boring lives. While I traveled. I now know people in their 50s who have grandchildren and who are still living what would for me be a wrist-slittingly boring life. And I travel. I work in between the travel, own a house and all that, but for me life is all about the experiences and learning – not getting drunk and wasting your life. I relate more to sober 20-somethings (and there are some) than most other people. They're still open minded and not yet ruined by life.
Thank you so much for sharing a different perspective.
I think you\’ve said it best: life is about experiences and learning.
I love to travel to different countries, and when you are around other people (no matter their age) who are inspirational role models, it makes a huge difference. Sort of like going out of your \’comfort zone\’, and not just talking or interacting with others who are just like you.
I know exactly what you mean! I've definitely done my share of partying in the past, but in my mid/late 20s now I have about zero interest in staying out past midnight, sleeping till noon, binge drinking (I do like a nice dinner with some wine though), reading gossip magazines, or watching ridiculous reality TV shows like Jersey Shore or Real Housewives or anything else. On the other hand I'm not quite so intellectual/uppity/quirky that I want to subscribe to the Economist, attend poetry readings or political activism committees, or fall in with a group of techies who hang out at coffee houses on their laptops nor rich foreigners who frequent upscale hotel bars.
Maybe I need some new friends, some new scene…
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I get tons of messages from my friends saying things like: Oh man I was so plastered last night! … or .. I partied way too hard, got home at 5 a.m. I mean, really?
I could not even stomach to watch 1 minute of this show! It is DUMB, DUMB, DUMB! Add the Jerseylicious to it, along with Real House Wife of [fill in the blank] and many others, and you truly have a tribe of overpaid dumbos and bimbos… SAD! And I feel you on feeling older than you are. I am the youngest in the family so i grew up at the same as my older siblings, skipping all of the crazy, worry-free phases.
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I think there\’s something to do with the environment you are in. If no one expects you to act young, or stupid.. or irresponsible, you don\’t do it.
My parents never gave me a curfew but I never went out later than 6 p.m. when I was a kid. It was just not DONE in my family.
I agree with what you said. I have never been into partying and getting "wasted." I don't know why, I don't think I felt "older," those things were never what I found to be fun and I didn't really fake myself to be in the crowd. I am much more comfortable staying home by myself or with a couple of good people than going to a club. BTW, I watch Jersey Shore and I love it. It's entertainment for me.
I didn’t drink, so I couldn’t be in the crowd if I wasn’t into drinking, smoking and drugs I guess.
I understand the entertainment concept, I just wonder about those kids who act like that IRL without that kind of paycheque. Like those Jackass guys too.
I like watching that show because its just so outrageous you just can't believe people act this way, that's part of the appeal for me, I mean the fist pump? What is that?! LOL. Of course my bf shakes his head when that show comes on and says how stupid it is.
I think its funny how the girls and guys think they're so hot when most of them aren't. I think people watch either because they can't take away from the wreck that is JS or they aspire to the carefree lifestyle of the cast. I'm all for living a good life but that doesn't mean that one needs to leave their brain behind.
I think networks look for crazy people who will live it up for the cameras. Sometimes I wonder if narcissistic people go into certain industries where they can get a lot of attention like acting, politics, etc. I'm not saying everyone in those careers are narcissistic or bad but those careers certainly attract certain narcissists like paris hilton, the jersey shore cast, etc.
I've noticed that a lot of the Disney Girls especially start out innocent and then get a little arrogant, the only disney girl I still like is Hilary Duff, she didn't go all crazy like most of them do. Its definitely interesting what people will do for fame. Blah I rambled again 🙂
Oh you make some awesome points. I think any industry that deals in social media (even as a blogger) has a healthy dose of narcissism in there.
For instance, all bloggers (including myself) feel to some extent that they have something interesting to say that people are willing to listen to, or read. If that isn\’t narcissistic I don\’t know what is 🙂 But I find it healthy, and not as negative as the word implies.
American TV tends to be way more interesting for me, because I find their shows to be more staged and outrageous than UK or Canadian shows.
Yep. I moved to the U.S. with my folks when I was about 9 years old, but before then we lived overseas and the best tv shows were American ones, well I thought they were the best. I was a kid so I mostly watched American animation like ducktales, smurfs, flintstones, and some family shows like MacGyver, Knight Rider, etc. I was born in 1983….I feel so old writing this!
🙂
Yep I got to admit that we do all want to be heard. hey thanks for commenting on my blog, I appreciate it. You were my first comment! That was so sweet. 🙂
You\’re welcome 😀
4 words FB… 'I FEEL YOUR PAIN!' 😉
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Thank you!
I don't know many people who live that lifestyle 24/7 by the time they're in their late 20s (my age), and I know a lot of people who used to go to the clubs a ton. By their late 20s, people end up in full time jobs or have kids or they get into relationships, marry, or cohabitate, so they no longer feel a desire to go to the clubs and bars to meet people to hook up with. I mean, the average age of first marriage is in your 20s, as is the average age of women at first childbirth. The ones left that I know that are still really into living that lifestyle 24/7 into their 30s are kind of the exceptions..they all either have some sort of unusual job that centers around entertaining (like club promoters and bartenders ), or they're the occasional spoiled rich kid, or, in a few cases, people who started doing that stuff in their mid 20s after being nerds growing up or after getting out of a bad first marriage or something.
I\’m in my late 20s too! But I gotta tell you, I know an exceptional amount of people who still party like that.
I get emails and see them on Facebook getting totally hammered… it\’s the reason why PA\’s post made me really think. And some of these people are married too!
I have to admit that I have been watching Jersey Shore this past season. Although many aspects of this show are exaggerated, you're right in that there are actually young people in real life who act like the cast members. I think that being in your 20s is more than just about going clubbing every night. I might be wrong, but unless they get new cast members or have them do something else other than party all the time, the show isn't going to be popular for much longer. It does get repetitive after a while.
I watch this show because it's so ridiculous it's funny. But it is kind of sad that none of the cast members ever really talk about their goals or anything more substantial than who they hooked up with or who they're mad at this week.
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You\’re making me want to watch an actual episode. I\’ve only seen clips but then my brain went all fuzzy and numb.
First of all for all the people bashing her: The Jersey Shore people ARE morons, and if you think they are smart you are a moron too Let's see where Snooki is at in 10 years, maybe celebrity rehab if she's lucky and with no money. Just like "Speidi" filing for bankruptcy. Anyway, I totally relate to what you are saying. I can actually see both sides. Feeling older sometimes and feeling younger sometimes. Everybody is just different and sometimes we get pulled into these "roles" that someone decided is how you are supposed to act at a certain age. Everybody experiences are different so I don't think it necessarily matters how old you are
While I think earning a lot of money is a very good thing, and at $60k/episode is pretty amazing, and in a way, they are certainly smart to have landed into that role, no matter how dumb it might be to me.
That being said, it makes me wonder how financially smart they are to be able to keep that money aside for when the show finally dies or when they get older and can\’t be party animals any more.
I am thinking of all the child stars and celebrities who wasted their money, thinking that the tap would never turn off. At any rate, I personally don\’t find that lifestyle at all appealing.
Even at $60,000/episode, I\’m not sure I could handle what they do all the time and not want to run off into some cabin in the woods and be alone. For me, it just doesn\’t seem very interesting or stimulating as a job, even if the pay is amazing.
Love your blog! I think i’ve only commented once before, but I could really relate to this.
I was drinking and partying between the ages of 15-17. Only because I was so socially awkward, I thought the only way for me to be “confident” with people and to get the boy I liked to notice me was by drinking insane amounts of wine, beer and spirits and do stupid stuff.
By the age of 17 and a half I moved in with my bf and no longer could we afford spending insane amounts of money on alcohol and going out. All our friends didn’t understand and thought we just didn’t want to (as stupid as it sounds) be their friend anymore. The thing that annoyed me was those friends thought maintaining a friendship requires eating at expensive cafes and drinking at the local pub.
By the time I was 18 (the legal drinking age in Australia), I was completely over the drinking/clubbing/partying thing. I just no longer saw the point of drinking something expensive that you just pee out. Not to mention drunken dramas and hangovers.
Since turing 18 (I am 22 now) bf and I probably have alcohol twice a year. We just don’t care for it now. We would much rather spend our Friday/Saturday nights curled up on the lounge eating pizza and watching a movie.
It annoys me when I see my high school friends on Facebook join the group “All my friends are getting married or pregnant. I’m just getting drunk”. Grow up already!
For me, I only started drinking at 19 (legal age in Canada). Never went to any of those illegal, secret parties.. I never saw the appeal of them. Made me entirely uncomfortable.
Then I partied for maybe 2-6 months on the weekends while in college, and realized it was not really THAT fun.
I've never been a big fan of drinking to drunkenness. I like a beer or two, but it's gotta be good beer. I'll go to a wine tasting. But I really don't like mixed drinks or other alcohol-heavy drinks. Big parties wear me out, and I tend to find a way out of them. Maybe I'm lame. But I also feel uncomfortable around most people that seem WAY more excited to be at a party, bar, or club.
There's a lot of stuff about "kids these days" that I don't get. Then again, when I was that age, I wasn't keen on doing the crazy things they did. So maybe it's just about having certain standards/morals/goals.
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If you\’re lame, I\’m lame. I\’m half horrified at some things they do.
Hey what happened to my comment? It got deleted :-/
Are you sure? I don\’t delete your comments at all. Did it go into spam?
My comments have been disappearing too!
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I\’m so sorry! Maybe I was screwing around with IntenseDebate (had a snafu on Friday)
This is really weird, I can see it again. I wonder if its some wordpress thing, I did register for wordpress.com but I don’t blog there, I just use the email to comment on blogs.
Perhaps I was playing around with the comments and I did something?? 🙂
In general, I've never felt as though I fit in the way most people do. Lots of times, the idea of going out to a bar or dancing with my friends just seems totally exhausting. Even if I do go out, I spend the whole time wondering why we didn't just hang out at someone's house, especially since you can barely hear each other over the music!
I'm actually excited to be older. We're probably going to be pretty traditional with having a baby and buying a house (although I don't want to be a SAHM!), so I'm hoping that will help me relate to other people… eventually.
THAT IS SO ME!
I cup my hands over my ears because they hurt from the super loud music, and I\’m in a place where I can\’t hear anyone — what is the darn point!?
So what you're really saying is… you feel awkward around stupid people your age. Because if the conversation can't go beyond drinking/partying, then they're just that – stupid. So stop associating with stupid people? (And if they're your colleagues… then my condolences)
I think you're the same age as me (26?). I don't know ANYONE who resembles a character from The Jersey Shore. Maybe I'm just lucky. 😛
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Yes perhaps that\’s it… but I wouldn\’t call some of my other friends stupid, although what they DO is stupid to me. Like drinking all the time, parties all the time..
These are smart, accomplished people, but all they want to do is go to a super loud club and drink. I don\’t get it for myself <--- I've never liked the whole party scene.
It’s their job to go out and party (both on-camera and to go to paid appearances). The Situation earns 60,000 dollars an episode. Snooki probably earns around there. Plus they make a lot of their money through appearance fees at clubs, where they are paid to promote liquor, and basically live out this partying image. So, in the case of the kids on the show, going out and acting a certain way is anything BUT financially irresponsible.
http://www.popeater.com/2010/08/23/the-situation-…
So they\’re like the version of Paris Hilton then? She gets something like $100k/appearance.
But I\’m not really talking about those celebrities specifically, as I am talking about the lifestyle they are perpetuating. They are pushing a lifestyle that people actually emulate, and I\’ve seen other people who don\’t make that money on a reality show, that act just like them <—- normal people who do that, are what I'm talking about.
The Jersey Shore is just an example.
I’m with you. I’m just 24 and feel this way.
Also, while the general lifestyle is stupid, the actual cast of Jersey Shore is smart. They are all making a lot more money than any of us, you included. While they are probably wasting it (I hope at least some of them remember to save a bit!), they are cashing in on selling their lifestyle.
I agree with that, but I still think the whole lifestyle is stupid. (Do I sense a little snarkiness/jealousythere?)
I wasn\’t attacking The Jersey Shore as the ONLY thing I hate, I was talking more about their lifestyle as a way for other people to emulate.
I\’ve actually seen and talked to Jersey-Shore-like people who don\’t make that kind of money, but act like total morons in the same style as the show. THAT is what I\’m talking about, as people I\’ve encountered, not necessarily those reality TV stars.
I'm the same, but I like drinking vermouth (and by like I mean I can drink about 100ml in about 1 hour 😛 – and that's enough for me for 3 months ).
Haha, I saw that episode of Bones. Loved how she managed to fit right in, and yet still treat it as a hands-on experience.
Although, I have to admit, I always thought that this was something that younger people did. You know, like those kids from "saved by the bell"? 😐
I am not quite sure Bones fit in. 🙂 I felt a little cringing when I saw her and heard her, but it was REALLY funny.
Oh I used to watch Saved By The Bell! I also didn\’t connect with those kids either.
I think I am realizing the majority of what is being portrayed as \”cool\” is not really what people want to do, deep down inside. It\’s just stuff we do to fit in.
The Jersey Shore people aren't morons, they just have different priorities than you. 🙂
Good point 🙂 They probably see me as some strict, boring person then!
i get why u cannot relate – i would bore to death if that’s all i was doing for 2 weeks…but a couple of days – sure i totally would go for it.
sometimes it feels so great to behave like a brainless maniac…
sleeping in feels great (in my case till 12 noon) because i usually work late and dont usually sleep till 12 a.m. … i remember the superhuman effort i have to make to wake up at 5 a.m. – i can but its not natural to me – maybe you could do a post on how to wake up early (anything that doesnt involve 20 alarm clocks and an alarm that runs away from you – yes i have tried both unsuccessfully)
btw – RIP stylestring.com
I wish I knew what it was like. It sounds like so much fun. I want to see what people see in that, but I can\’t change who I am.
As for the superhuman effort to wake up, it\’s to stay on a schedule. Don\’t oversleep, don\’t throw off your schedule and let your body naturally drift off to sleep at the same time each night, plus waking up at the same time each day with an alarm until you train your body.
(LOL!! You bought that CLOCKY thing! It runs away from you and you have to chase it? I\’d have smashed that thing on the first day.)
(Thank you.)
I totally feel the same way. I don't get along with most people my age…i'm so over the 'going out every night, drinking till you black out, spending money on stupid things, let's party and party and party' phase. And all those people can talk about are superficial things, which frankly, i'm not interested in! I feel so out of place sometimes…who am I kidding, MOST of the time. My polo friends are all older than me (with the exception of 1 or 2), and I get along with them great. I don't even date guys my age because they are just so immature.
I'm also not one to spend hours putting on make up so I can go guy hunting. It seems to be the thing to do for women my age. Ugh! And the whole waking up after noon thing…drives me crazy! I go to bed at midnight and wake up at 6 am. On Sundays i'll extend to 8 am but anything later than that and I feel like a lazy bum.
Thanks for this post.
You and I need to do a sushi night if we ever meet.
Jeans, t-shirt, sushi and some random fluff TV series. Honestly, it\’s all I want these days.
(Who spends hours on makeup? Even with full makeup force, I take maybe 30 minutes.. for a wedding. :P)
You are welcome!
I'm certainly not like this, I've never even gone clubbing, lol. I do watch jersey shore, for the schadenfreude, its funny but I think a part of them really have high opinions of themselves, but I think they're also partly acting.
It made me wonder if it was all reality TV + (bad) acting, it being staged, etc.
I think you can\’t act a part you don\’t believe in, though. You have to FEEL like that character to really portray them properly… so they\’re def. playing their own parts 😛
Same here! We never had any cable when I was a kid and even throughout high school, I never know what to talk about with my peers, so I never really "fit in" with anybody with high school. I have a couple of close friends that I keep with that I know from my high school years and we are all not the party / drinking type.
It also doesn't help that I have a BF that's 8 years older than I am! So even though I m in my mid-20s, I feel like I am in my mid-30s!
I'm just glad that I know I have a couple of friends who I can totally be open with and talk to!
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BF had no TV until he turned 25. He had no idea what people were talking about 🙂
I have a few friends whom I\’m quite close to, so I\’m happy for them. 🙂 We can say ANYTHING to each other, and that is a rare trait to find in a friend.
Same here, same here, same here. (Well, except that I am still a bit of a night owl.)
And that Bones episode was fantastic, though I did shudder a bit at her imitations of their behavior.
I cringed but it was HILARIOUS!
Like watsoninc above I've been considered an "old soul" my whole life. I just turned 24. I don't listen to the "modern noise" on the radio and I loathe clubs with loud music and leering idiots everywhere. I've always been the more mature, responsible one out of my friends (Of course I've made idiotic mistakes, but never with money! Always been a saver.)
I prefer craft nights with friends, exploring new cities, small random adventures, writing or making things in cafes, and being a nerd and writing website things.
Yep, I can relate with everything you've written here. Except my parents were the more responsible type. 🙂 Not hippies, they didn't like hippies as kids… Oh, and I do enjoy the occasional drinking binge with large groups of friends. But only like 1-3 times a year and somewhere really crazy. Like a boat, camper, hotel… 😀
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I prefer meals and doing.. THINGS with friends, not so much getting drunk and wasted.
My parents are total hippies. I swear…
I also feel old somtimes for my age, especially around people like those Jersey shore morons. (For the Dutch version, google 'Oh Oh Cherso"!) I'm more like Temperance Brennan from Bones. 😉 Sometimes I feel I'm like an old soul in a young body.
I think you and I are kindred souls then. I\’ve always felt so awkward and out of place. I can\’t relate and I don\’t know how.
Same here, same here, same here. (Well, except that I am still a bit of a night owl.)
And that Bones episode was fantastic, though I did shudder a bit at her imitations of their behavior.
I’m the same way! Since pretty much after my freshman year of college, I’ve been over the drinking and partying thing. I’ve been called old (at 26) for going to bed around 9 or 10 and waking up early.
You and me both! After a month-stint in the clubs I said: If this is what people call fun, I\’m NOT fun at all.
I like hanging with friends and laughing, joking, having fun.. but getting wasted? puking? Why?
I can completely empathize with you. I am often called an "old soul." My wife also is one as well. I've never watched JS, but know of some of their behavior. It's scary to think that people would try to imitate that behavior, yet it is glamorized by the defender of all things virtuous (saint MTV). SARCASM 🙂
You just need to look at the image I posted to say: \”Oh goodness that is NOT who I am.\”
I CANNOT relate to them. I may laugh at a stupid antic but then I think: what..is the point again?
I have to say I agree with you, on almost all of this post (though my bedtime is 10!). I never really related to a lot of people in high school, since I wasn't all that interested in partying or breaking rules, or doing stupid things.
I don't like alcohol, unless it's creme de menthe on ice cream or in grasshopper pie, so I'm hard pressed to get excited when people suggest a night at the club / drinking on the beach, etc. (I'm disgusted to admit this, but there is going to be a Toronto "Jersey Shore" type show – someone posted it in a forum I read, and they really give the 20-something group a terrible name. They're just a bunch of idiots!)
Sometimes I look at the photos on my facebook feed and cringe. There are some people that do go clubbing every week, and I just don't understand it.
I'm a bit of a homebody I guess. Living in Toronto is not all about the bars and nightlife though – there's so many other things that can be done aside from that!
Though I have to admit that I do like having a break at an all-inclusive resort sometimes, just as a way to read on a lounger, swim in the ocean, maybe go sailing, or kayaking, or paddle boat my way around in the ocean, and where my toughest choice is "what do I feel like eating?"
It's a wonderful break from work and life in general, though it's 1 week and I avoid the alcohol.
I have friends who just want to tan in the sun all day, and drink all night. I\’d be SO BORED!
Oh that\’s disgusting. Toronto Shore? Bayshore? 😛
I agree with you. I adore Toronto (hey, if you\’re up for it, I\’d love to meet sometime when I\’m back.) and when I see people getting wasted, I think –> Really? But it feels so BAD. You\’re dizzy, puking.. is that fun?
I'd be up for a meet up!
And this embarrassing atrocity of a show is called "Lake Shore" (a partial of the video that I saw is here: http://www.youtube.com/user/2010LakeShore) – I am horrified and embarrassed that the producer says "it's going to be a peek into what Toronto is like as a multicultural city" – there's no diversity of people in that idiotic show, and that certainly is not a valid representation of all 20-somethings in Toronto! We don't all get drunk and wasted! I don't get it either.
Cool 🙂 I\’ll email you when it gets closer to 2011 and I have a confirmed \”hey I\’m going back to Toronto\” date. If you\’re ALSO up for it, we can meet up with some other bloggers… we\’ll chat more then 😀
Toronto as a multi-cultural city of drinking. Grrrrrrrrrrreat. I had a feeling it\’d be called something stupid. Anyway, the good news is that Canadians can\’t really get those kinds of show right, seeing as they don\’t tend to have a knack for being as wild as other shows like Jersey Shore on TV.
Sounds great. We'll work something out once your schedule is known a little more.