By now, everyone knows I drive an old, old, OLD car. Like past a decade old and still kicking.
It isn’t pretty, it’s scratched up, it doesn’t have automatic anything (except windshield wipers) and I have to drive at 50 km/h so it doesn’t rattle too badly.
Just the other day I had a conversation with a co-worker who said: “So is your BF working?”
FB: Naw. He’s off contract right now.
Co-Worker: Oh! I’m so sorry. Are you going to be able to make it? Do you have another contract lined up after this one?
FB: Well we don’t spend a lot of money, so we should be okay. And no, I’m done after this contract so I’ll just chill out and plan my next year, but I have nothing lined up.
Co-Worker: *furrows brow* I’ll keep you two in my thoughts. I know it must be hard to pay your own expenses for this project & to be watching a budget.
FB: *touched* That’s nice of you to say. Thank you.
I know she said it to be nice, but apparently it all boils down to the car I drive.
She has made similar comments during the project about how old my car is, how much gas it uses (everyone assumes it uses a lot because it’s old, when in fact I can go on a tank of gas per month or more), and that I could probably look into getting a small Yaris or something that’s new rather than driving that junker around.
There are of course, other little indications such as:
- I bring my lunch to work and once a month (if that), I buy my lunch outside
- They know I don’t eat in restaurants, because they’ve asked where I go on the weekends to eat and I said: “Chez moi” (At my place)
- I don’t buy a daily coffee & doughnut
- I never participate in those candy drives because I don’t like the candy being sold, but they think it’s because I can’t afford it
- I get paid monthly so people think I’m living on bare bones to make it to the next month
- I attack the free food left behind from retirement parties (seriously, free cake tastes better)
- I pay a lot for my hotel apartment ($2500/month) so they think it’s my entire paycheque, although they know BF pays “half”
- I’m always watching the gas prices (what? you don’t?!)
- They know I only spend about $150/month for my share in the groceries
- When I can’t use my car, I take the bus instead of cabbing it
- I always ask about the price of everything
- I wear kind of the same stuff everyday (what? I don’t have my whole wardrobe here)
- They know I only have 4 chairs, a futon and a table as my furniture and they think I can’t afford to even go to IKEA
It doesn’t really bother me as much as it makes me feel that people are very kind to be worrying about how other people are faring.
I don’t care if they think I’m a starving, poor, freelancer laden down with student debt and living a poor lifestyle but facetiously calling it “minimalist”.
I just don’t want them to worry so I try to smile and tell them not to, but I can see that they have no idea and cannot help themselves in trying to offer me suggestions on how to save money.
G.I. Jane had something similar happen to her:
I had lunch with the Korean Nationals from my office on Tues. I decided at the last minute to treat them all to lunch since they always treat me. They were like shocked that I paid for all four of them.
It only came to $38 for everyone, including me.
When we sat down one of them was like, “I thought you couldn’t afford to pay because of the car you drive” or something like that .
Even though I make more than all three out of four combined and their boss, it boiled down to the car I drive! I said, “well I do not have a car payment…so I use that money to buy you all lunch.
It’s just funny how you really get judged by the car you drive as a symbol of what you can afford.
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
In my country, it’s all about the cellphone. People judge you because of the cellphone you use. People can’t understand why I prefer a phone that can only do calls and texts.
When you don’t use a smart phone or an android phone, they always assume you’re poor.
Hmm… I don’t know if my car would be considered an “old beater” lol, but it’s about 11 years old, it’s pretty scuffed, but it’s still running fairly well 😀 Mine’s a Toyota Camry (fully automatic — I’m retarded when it comes to standard :P) and it’s up to 183K miles… but it doesn’t stall in the middle of the road, which is good enough for me! 😀
However, I WILL be needing another car by the time I graduate from college… which is in two years o_O but I’m gonna do the smart option and trade my car (which — according to Blue Book — is worth $3K :D) and buy a “new” used car so I’ll only owe roughly $10K… I’m gonna save for half the cost, though — I want to set my money aside for traveling, not for car payments :/
Funnily enough… I actually DO want my next car to be a 2008 Toyota Yaris 😀 (the hatchback option with the fold-down seat :D) I fell in love with Toyota when I got my mom’s old car, and I’m gonna stick with it! I originally wanted the Toyota RAV4, but when I saw the crappy gas mileage… well, the Yaris looked a LOT better in comparison 😛
I drive an old beater myself. You are so right. It’s all about the car. Sometimes it drives me insane how people, obviously, judge from the car you drive.
But then again… I’ve found hapiness and this is how I choose to drive. So why bother getting upset.
Even though I like cars, i’ve never really been that happy with them. For example: the shiny BMW with the big 328 engine and fancy interior. I only had this car for 3 months.
The most expensive car I ever had cost me 110.000 dollars and I realized.. well, it’s actually just a car..why did I spend so much on a vehicle with 4 wheels??? True hapiness comes from having a healthy life with friends and family (I think).
So… now I drive a 13 year old 10.000 dollar car and it runs great. It’s still fast and fun to drive (and pretty good on gas actually) even though people in my family look at it like it’s a piece of trash because it soooo old and have a few dents here and there.
I guess it is a piece of trash compared to Dad’s 2011 Mercedes-Benz AMG (which he purchased for “only 159,000” as he put it) and my brother’s 2010 Dodge Viper Roadster at 150,000 dollars. But then again: I’m happy with my “trash” so why care what they think!
Andy, you are so right 🙂
I actually almost reveled in driving an old beater because people don’t
expect me to, or start to downgrade their assumptions about me 😛
I recently donated it to a charity because I’m leaving the country, which
means I’ll have to buy another beater when I move 🙂
2 quick comments.
1. You're sharing too much with these people.
2. Coworkers judge EVERYTHING about you, not just your car. In your case you are doubly scrutinized because you're a consultant and they probably don't know how much you make (the biggest object of their curiosity).
Be well. You make me laugh everyday.
*laugh*
It\’s not that I\’m sharing too much (or above what they share with me). It\’s that they\’re probing and asking questions, then making judgments based on what they see me wear and drive. 🙂
You are what you drive…haha yeah right. I say rock the old car with pride, like J Money reps his Caddy with style. You drive an older car so you can do fun things. Aint nothing wrong with that 🙂
Thanks PD 🙂
Maybe I should add some flashy rims to my old car and make it bounce on the roads.
FB, I always wonder about this. I'm looking at properties to *buy* so estate agents are always surprised that I drive a scooter.
Estate agent: "So, where are you parked?"
Me: "Oh, right over here" and I point to the scooter
Estate agent: "Oh."
I'd much rather invest the hypothetical car payment in stocks and a retirement annuity…
*LAUGHING*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
\”Oh.\”
Best repartee ever. 🙂
Thats crazy to me that all those indicators add up to a much bigger picture. You probably have more than 95% of those people have in their checking accounts ( give or take) and they think your the one whos barely getting by and struggling. Oh em gee.
It really made me realize that the image I project is one of poverty, even if I think it\’s pretty comfortable. They couldn\’t live the way I do, but I find the way they live to be too much for my lifestyle (especially considering my exorbitant hotel rate right now).. 🙂 I NEED to cut!!
Its very rare for someone to be financially well off like you are and to keep an older car. But why don't you tell them you have a lot of savings? I didn't read anything in the post where you rebutted them worrying about you. No offense but I can't stand people pitying me and if it were me I would just say "thanks guys but I'm saving my money and have savings, that's where most of my money goes, I'd rather save than spend."
It is so funny that people you work with can be so nosy. You make a good point about being price aware or having a budget must mean someone is broke. I think it is more indicative of where they are at. I noticed that since when I am more confident about my own finances, the less judgmental or curious I am about other people. I think it is a combination of reading kick-ass personal bloggers like you and gaining control of my $$.
Thanks for the link love :).
My recent post Random musings
Your finances look AWESOME to me, girl. I can\’t say that I\’m the same way after getting control of my money. I\’m still curious about other people\’s finances which is why I\’m a PF-lurker commenter and blogger.
And it\’s true, they\’re nosy but I see it more as being kind-hearted. They mean well, but they assume a lot of things.
I suppose it\’s just them projecting upon me then, with their own fears about their finances.
FAB, did you say something bad about a Yaris? That’s what I drive! 🙂
I just need something reliable that’s dirt cheap on commuter gas.
I don’t pay attention to what other people drive and think it’s a bit odd if other people do – although I did see a bit of that down in the US when I lived there.
No not something bad, she was the one who suggested to me if I wanted a new car, a Yaris might be a good option because it\’s affordable, from this decade (LOL!), great on gas, small and very cute for a girl especially in the city.
She thinks I can\’t afford a new car (which I can\’t if I were to look at my finances) and was offering a suggestion 🙂
I prefer my car however because BF and I travel with our things in 2 cars, and a Yaris would NOT fit what we need — table, chairs, etc.
A lot of people tend to judge you on your car, I get a lot of looks for being young and in a car like mine — they think it\’s my parents\’ 😛
I've worked all over the US, and the extent to which people even care about cars varies so much from place to place. New York City, Boston, Washington DC, and Chicago all have good public transit, horrible traffic, and are really compact, so many city dwellers don't have cars, even at high incomes (I know Wall Street traders and DC lobbyists that could easily buy super-luxury cars on their bonuses alone, but have no car and just get rentals when they leave the city). Also, employers like investment banks and law firms in these cities usually pay for cab or towncar fare after a certain hour, so many professionals just don't need a car and, even if they have one, nobody you work with is going to see it!
On the other hand, places like Los Angeles and Houston/Dallas are very much car cultures–it's a combination of being spread out so people have to drive to work and really good weather, so your car stays nice and flashy sports cars are practical (on the flip side, everyone in northern Minnesota or Montana needs cars, but the snow and conditions mean most people have to stick to heavy, practical cars rather than flashy ones).
Wow no kidding. I better keep that in mind when we move to Dallas. I mean, I won\’t go crazy with my car or feel bad if they tell me I\’m poor because I can\’t buy a new car (I couldn\’t care less) but it\’s nice to have a heads up
Teriffic post!
Thank you!
Nobody drives into work where I am currently working (it's just not practical to drive into work here)…I don't think a single person in my current office, from the Big Boss to the interns, drives in to work. If they live in the city, very senior people here do not have cars, even if they can afford a fleet of them. And if they live in the suburbs, people tend to drive non-flashy cars because they have to leave them at the train station.
Wow that is awesome. Sounds like New York to me 🙂 hahaha!
I love your blog! You never fail to bring up solid points, and do a great job of explaining your perspective.
And being judged by your car? Been there. I’ve got this expensive taste for cars, which is my one real money weakness, but all the luxury cars I’ve owned took me months to find because I refused to pay excessively for them. It creates a faux appearance, which is part of the reason I have to be done with BMW for now, but at the same time people assume you spent your entire salary on it when in actuality I bought a Saab for cheaper than I could find a used Honda. Go figure.
Thank you! 🙂
I do agree that running around to find the best deal can yield some great results from people who can\’t make payments on their cars, and you can snap them up for cheap, or from a used car lot.
Me, I\’m more of a : Meh couldn\’t be bothered kind of person.
I get the opposite, the upper middle class here do drive nice cars but the wealthy artist, author, and actor types in Santa Fe seem to value age, quirkiness and rarity over flash. I drive a unusual 25 yr old truck that was free 15 years ago and a 35 yr old BMW that was $2K, somehow that makes me rich 😉 People who know me also knew I have a good income and very low rent with almost no expenses and think I must be piling it away somewhere but no I've been trying to pay down a crushing amount of debt for several years.
You would never suspect that the old man that lived near me where I grew up was Billionaire Robert O Anderson by the beat up old Ford pickup he drove everywhere. I've talked to a couple of other wealthy people who drive clunkers as their daily drivers, they've said that they just like them better, they don't have to worry about door dings and rock chips from the bad roads, or they were attached to what had before they became successful and with this being a pretty poor region it's tacky to show off.
My recent post Arizona
I had to chuckle a bit when I read this. It's definitely nice to know that people are concerned. Here in Los Angeles it's all about the car you drive. People who can't afford to drive the newest luxury car will do so just for the image, no matter if they are up to their eyeballs in debt. I got a lot of: ew, you drive THAT? With my first car (it was a brand spanking new VW Golf!!). And now with my other VW I get a lot of: why don't you just upgrade to a BMW, that car is more "you"? Because 1. I can't afford it and 2. I'm not at that point in my life where I want to drive around in a BMW.
I wouldn\’t say no to a FREE BMW with the same insurance and gas mileage I get, but I doubt that will ever happen with the insurance rates here.
I guess I just don\’t care as much? Or maybe it\’s the only thing they can see as a fast comparison, so you get judged on it pretty quickly.
I always get comments like: Did your parents give that to you for free?
Me: No I bought it
Them: OH.
Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
That is so true! I got a pretty substantial raise last year and my sister said “Wow! Maybe you can finally afford to buy a car”. I was shocked! I live downtown in a city with great public transportation, it would be ridiculous to own a vehicle. My rent/monthly bills are 1/8th of my income, I suppose if I wanted a car I could pretty easily own one. I was just surprised that she thought the reason for me not owning a car was monetary. I can’t think of a time I have ever complained of taking buses, walking, biking or taking the occasional cab.
I wish I could go back to just taking a bus or the subway system. In Toronto it\’s perfect for me, I\’d never need a car if I worked in Toronto proper. In fact, I think it\’s faster than a car, because of the traffic.
Unfortunately, I\’m stuck with a car if I work in the boondocks 🙁
I think you hit it on the head — the reason is not monetary for me. It\’s just…. practical.
I never thought of it that way. My husband and I decided on purchasing 2 new European stationwagons (one German and one Swedish) after being in a very bad car accident and our Japanese SUV was crushed like a paper cup. Safety became our priority, especially since we have a toddler. Maybe that's why people think we're strange that our whole house is furnished with stuff from Craigslist, Goodwill and secondhand free stuff people give us. We also chose not to have cable tv. What they also don't know is we plan to keep our new autos for the next 20 years hopefully as long as we maintain them well. I hate car payments and it's the one expense that gives you no return whatsoever. We wouldve bought used cars but we found out that stationwagons are not popular in the southwestern states.
I very much agree about the point on safety. I\’d do the same if I had kids. I don\’t find it weird that you drive a good car that is brand new and have furnished goods. They might, but you\’ve set your own priorities.
i think its not necessarily just about the car you drive. People need to judge – so they can put you in a mental 'slot' for their own comfort. Not knowing where to place you makes them uncomfortable. I believe even if you drove a fancy car but wore the same clothes every day – people would think you are up to your eyeballs in debt with the car payments as you wear the same thing every day – we all need to rationalize what we see by what we know / have knowledge of.
Its just like a false security blanket – having 'figured' someone out. Plus they might have wayyy too much free time on their hands….
LOL.. good point. I guess I do that do, that mental slot of judging, although I try not to. It\’s hard to NOT assume things based on your own biases, but I think they just find me to be a strange mix of something they\’ve never encountered before.
My car is generally much older than most people who have similar jobs (and let's face it, older and crappier than a lot of student's cars too).
While I am planning on eventually replacing it, I'm just not incredibly and have always had higher priorities (savings!), but I too often feel judged by it. Almost all my college friends bought new cars within 6 months of getting a new job. My car has held up, so I don't see why I should be in a rush!
It is a little annoying, but I tend to judge people who buy brand new fancy cars as pretentious, so it goes both ways
My recent post Would you pay more to keep your doctor
My car is the biggest, ugliest, baddest car on the road on 4 wheels with some rust. *LAUGH*
I love it though. It works, it runs and I haven\’t had a single problem with it other than replacing the battery for $100. I call it my rusted gem.
For people who buy brand new fancy cars, I tend to reserve judgment because BF is a fancy new car person (not luxury though), and it\’s just because he\’s so tall he needs a big car to feel comfortable 😛
This post is interesting, because my car makes people think I have a lot more money than I do. I drive a shiny, visibly undamaged Volvo, so people assume that I spent a lot of money on it and therefore have a lot of money. The reality? I bought it used (I'm the 3rd owner) for $5,000! It's a 2002 Volvo with over 150 miles, but it runs great (unfortunately doesn't get anything close to the great gas mileage that you get). I'm definitely not struggling, but as a recent law school grad, I don't exactly have loads of spare cash either.
Holy crap! $5000 is such a steal. I think you did awesome. I paid about $1800 CAD for my junker, but if I planned on staying in the country I would have sprung for that.
I definitely had the exact opposite thing happen to me. I bought a nice car because I thought people at work would care, and they didn't. Maybe it is because I work in a corporate office where you know people at least have a decent steady income. Anyway, cars are the bane of my financial existence.
My recent post Kevin McKee Buys ANOTHER Car
I find that people at work don\’t care as much as they see how junky my car is compared to theirs, coupled with the fact that I\’m a young freelancer. They put two and two together and they come up with their answer.
I work in corporations mostly too, and everyone has a steady (high) income there ranging from $50k – $150k, except for us freelancers.
And that is why you sleep at night and don’t stay up worrying about how you’ll pay your bills!!
But that is very true – a lot of people associate your lifestyle with the kind of car you drive. Don’t we all have a friend who has met a “great guy” and has attempted to make him look good in our eyes by saying that he “DRIVES XYZ”?
I think I do have a that friend! She feels good in knowing the guy she\’s dating has a BMW or a Mercedes, when I\’d say: er… check his spending habits and bank account before you decide whether he\’s responsible with his money or just showing off 🙂
I think you can own a luxury vehicle and still be rich/financially responsible. It\’s a question of priorities and not upgrading every 4 years.
Fascinating! I think that even I would look at all those indicators that you posted about, and think, “Wow, FB and her boyfriend must be struggling!” instead of thinking that we had the same frugal mindset. It’s just so rare to meet someone else that has similar attitudes to money that I automatically think others spend frivolously if they have ANY money to spare, I guess!
I also would think that as a freelancer, you’d have to present yourself with a fancy car and flash money around a lot to impress your clients, but I think that’s more for real estate agents or insurance salesmen… Who knows, maybe their concern for your financial well-being will make them hustle for you a little bit more, or recommend you to lots of other clients (even though they’d already do that because of the quality of your work, of course!)!
That\’s basically it. I think they feel as though I budget and watch my money because I don\’t have money rather than because I want to.
As a consultant in my area, it is never wise to flash your money around. The fancier of a car you drive and the more you talk about your vacations and how much money you spent on everything, people get the feeling that you\’re being paid A LOT … maybe too much. Then they get jealous. Then it\’s a whole awkward $$$ situation.
It is better to be thought of as poor and struggling (and get recommendations as you\’ve astutely pointed out, as well as based on the quality of my work) than it is to be thought of as rich and flashy.
Agreed on your point about consultants. Rolling in on your first day to a worksite in a flashy car can create a bad first impression. I’d add that, in the US, rolling into the parking lot of some American companies (auto companies, manufacturing companies, etc.) in a flashy foreign-made car would be even worse.
Oooo good point!