Know what kills me?
When people rationalize huge unnecessary purchases for strange reasons (when they can’t afford it) and then pinch on other things that are littler.
I’m not trying to rationalize or justify buying a huge flat screen TV or go on a $1500 shopping/dining out spree (*ahem* *raises hand*), but it’s because if you buy the TV or go on a shopping spree, you’ve done the math (like I have), and CAN AFFORD IT.
If I was still on a $60,000 salary, that $1500 spree would NOT have happened because that would’ve meant it was almost an ENTIRE bi-weekly paycheque down the drain on FUN.
Granted, the money I’m making now may or may not last, but in the scheme of how much I’m making, a little spree of $1500 is justifiable. Maybe not the brightest considering that the money COULD have been saved in an Emergency Fund or spent in a wiser manner, but at least it won’t put me into a credit card debt of $1500.
(Not only that, we can’t all be crazy budgeters working ourselves to the grave trying to save and deprive ourselves of purchases. I just happened to save up a lot of those little purchases and went hog wild at once instead of doing it gradually over the year.)
No, no.
Who I am talking about in my statement above, are the the people who ARE in debt, who have BIG mortgages, who have LOWER paying jobs and are trying to penny pinch and be frugal because of what’s going on in the economy.
But wait!
These people then go out and buy a flat screen TV, not from Best Buy, but from Wal-Mart because it feels more like a frugal store, and to top it off, they try to penny pinch on groceries and save $0.50 on a can of beans or cutting out their daily latte.
Those penny pinching measures on groceries or cutting out their beloved lattes are all great measures towards slowly trying to make some room in your budget and to cut the little frivolous expenses, but what good does it do if you go out and end up blowing $2000 on a flat screen TV?!?
That $2000 you could’ve saved by NOT buying that flat screen TV could probably have bought you tons of beans! MOUNTAINS!
It’s like they’re treating themselves for living on beans, and patting themselves on the back for saving $0.50 per can of beans!!!
And these people know they’re living kind of on the line.
Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously. They could have an Emergency Fund saved, but I’d bet good money on that they don’t have anything saved, because if they did, they wouldn’t be spending it on a flat screen TV they really ran the numbers on their budget and their income.
But if you can’t afford anything, and then you do some crazy shopaholic logic and justified it with math calculations over the can of beans savings but then blow $2000 on a flat screen TV before you have the cash saved up to buy it… then you’re just plain stupid.
As a side note, the worst part for me is that people pinch on groceries – the one thing that fuels our bodies to keep us going.
Instead, they buy convenience foods, thinking that spending only $9/day in 3 little frozen dinners will be enough, but forgetting that you could make much better food a lot cheaper, in a larger quantity and be able to freeze it all if you just did a little elbow grease and started cooking.
I guess I just love food too much to really understand why people would want to skimp on something that we have the pleasure of enjoying on a daily basis.
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
I don't get the whole "I deserve it" mentality. Never did. Never will.
Food in our family [quality food] is a priority, everything else we budget for. Once we have the money for what we need–we spend it without regret, but there are not SPREES around our neck of the woods–that's just plain stupid.
If you are smart enough and want a big screen tv–safe your cash and go deal hunt in places other than WalMart and the likes 😉
I have a "friend" (we used to be friends, really more acquaintances now) who is, unfortunately, going through a "I deserve it" spending time right now. She has a medical condition that is going to cost her a significant amount of money for surgery soon (and no health insurance, in the US), which puts her in a difficult position financially already. She's in college, but lives at home with her parents and works part time. Living with her parents saves her a TON of money (they don't charge her rent or anything), but she's still going to have some student loan debt as it is. Last week, she picked up two extra shifts at work, and was all excited about the bigger paycheck…and then went out and spent the excess (and then some) on stuff she didn't need- because she worked hard during those extra shifts and "deserved it".
Don't get me wrong, I'm not all about spending NO money on fun stuff/treats. But when you know you have a big, necessary expense coming up, working extra shifts should be a way to offset those costs, not a way to spend more money because you "deserve it'.
Then again, she is certainly experiencing more stress than I usually do, so maybe what seems like excessive fun spending to me is just to get her through.
The one thing I actually allow myself to spend more money on now (compared to college) is food- I definitely did some scrimping in college, and I do think my health suffered as a result. I don't cook all of my meals or eat super duper healthy all the time, but I buy higher quality grains, and much more produce now that my income doesn't all go to tuition and rent. Anything else I want to spend money on, I tend to have to justify it in some way, but I'm glad I can go to the grocery store and not worry about going over budget because the strawberries look perfect or my favorite whole grain bread isn't on sale (but I still clip my coupons!)
This post really resonates with me because my husband bought a fancy flat-screen tv just yesterday. At first, I wasn't happy because it was a very large purchase and the only large one that's really for him since he got his new job. His job pays well and we can afford it. My original rule was that I had to get a job before he bought the tv, but sometimes you give in.
If we can afford it, we deserve our own awards once in a while. I hope we're not penny wise, pound foolish. But as you've said, we're relatively financially disciplined, our earning potential will actually only go up and sometimes it's beyond "want/need" and hey, just do it.
Of course since we're taking several trips in a few months, that will be the last large purchase for this year!
I say go for it. 🙂 As long as you aren’t buying a new stereo system, and then a new couch, and then redoing the whole room to house the TV, then spending a little isn’t such a bad thing
My problem is, technically, I *can* afford it–I have a healthy EF, lots of other little funds for various 'want' items, and zero debt. My job is secure for at least another year due to my contract (and probably beyond that). BUT–I do not have nearly enough in retirement. Less than $10K at 32! NOT ENOUGH. (I rationalize it because I can't contribute anything to any of my IRA's–not making US $$, so I am legally prohibited–and frankly, the retirement options in NZ are BS–high fees, horrible returns, etc. I joined Kiwisaver (NZ retirement scheme) because my employer matches up to 2% and the gov't kicks in some money, but other than that, it is just not worth investing more than the minimum.)
Therefore, I feel guilty every time I spend $2K-$4K to travel around the southern hemisphere or on a trip home to see my family. Right now, while my parents are alive, seeing them my priority. I can't seem to balance the two, ever: NOW, while people are alive and while i'm in close proximity to awesome cool places, and THEN, when I will have to rely on my savings to live. BAH!!!
my mom also was a total stickler when shopping: every single time i picked something out, she would ask me, "do you really want this?" "will it last you a long time?" does it match anything you have?" (for clothes) or "will you use this a lot?" (for other items) I still do that to this day. yay mom!
I am in the same boat. I can afford anything I want to buy, but then my minimalist attitude kicks in with: “can you tote that around?” and my money side kicks in with: ” do you REEEEEALLY want/need it!?”
I deserve it isn’t bad if you can pay for it and want to treat yourself but yeah I completely agree with you, its sad that people are this dumb. BF bought a flat screen tv and paid with his debit card. We spent $180 last week to buy groceries, we don’t skimp on food, its the one thing that you really need the most, plus we really like eating good food.
Of course, I agree. But, the problem is, I suppose, is the keeping up with Jones’ mentality, People are willing to scrimp and cut out the latte and groceries because those things are not status symbols.
I think the phrase, "I work hard, I deserve it" is very dangerous. Lots of people work hard, but where did the sense of entitlement, that we deserve something we can't afford, come from? The answer to that is quite complex, and probably a little different for a lot of people, but I just don't get this mindset.
I think a huge contribution to this mindset is that those who actually can't afford something can get access to it via credit, almost regardless of the particulars of their situation. This has a domino effect, as others in similar financial situations see their buddies with things like huge fancy tvs and figure that if Joe has one, I deserve it too. I think it also has to do with the significant challenge that some people have with delayed gratification, that is also fed by credit. I want to go overseas and see many parts of the world, but it won't happen overnight-I have to save up money and vacation time-some people think I'm nuts for "putting this off", but I feel it's important to delay the gratification of these plans until I can avoid the stress of debt. Some people, including some I love dearly, feel the avoidance of later worry and interest charges are not strong enough reinforcers to put off something they want.
I also priortize food, and enjoy cooking, so I wouldn't try to save money by eating crappy processed food,-I want to eat nutritious and flavourful food, and I don't find those qualities in much processed stuff. That said, I do try to maximize my food dollar by doing the typical stuff-meal planning, shopping seasonally, watching for sales, not wasting ingredients, cooking a lot from scratch-but I keep an eye on this part of my budget to allow myself to actually afford other things I also priortize, like travel and time with family/friends. I agree that saving 50 cents on a particular item wouldn't get me far in terms of travel, but over time, if my grocery budget is kept in line, it allows me to save alotted amounts to my travel fund. which, literally, gets me where I want to go.
As Revanche once said, “getting paid is the reward to working hard”. 🙂
Well, I don't have a television, but I know some people who do and some really like their flat screens. They probably think the amount I spend on food is "frivolous" after a certain point. So, to each their own. And I don't see the problem with shopping around for the best deal on something frivolous and then penny pinching elsewhere where you don't care as much about the quality/price. That makes perfect sense to me.
But yeah, I don't like the "But I deserve it!" attitude. Whether I deserve it or not is irrelevant. Deserving doesn't put money in the bank. And deserving doesn't mean I want something bad enough to spend the money.
Of course, if you're in debt then it's wise to hold off on big frivolous purchases (and watch the little ones, too). However, maybe you have a budget for "fun" stuff while you're getting out of debt and maybe you can still save up while getting out of debt — so long as it doesn't derail you from getting out of debt. I'm sure my husband and I could be doing better financially if we didn't buy anything unnecessary, but we have a plan that works for us.
I am trying to rationalize a TV purchase right now! I don't have it yet, so common sense is winning.
Tsk tsk 🙂 Hahaha!
Well do you like watching TV a lot? If you do, go for it, but keep in mind the cost of cable, Tivo, etc.
I agree with Shelley's "I thought about it, I wanted it and I could afford it" statement.
I also sat here giggling as I read about "TONS of beans! MOUNTAINS!"
hehehehe 🙂 I was laughing as I wrote it. Glad you enjoyed it!
I'm struggling with this a little bit right now, actually. Our house was robbed a couple of months ago, and the two big ticket items that were stolen were our laptop and my husband's X-Box 360. Because of our deductible, our insurance settlement worked out in such a way that we could replace the computer free and clear, but not the X-Box. That would have to be paid for out of pocket.
Now, I've got some personal feelings about video games, and about grown men wasting time (errr…spending time) playing them, but ultimately, that doesn't matter. My husband loves them, and I love him, and I want him to have things that bring joy and relaxation to his life, just like I want to have those things in MY life.
Last weekend, he was REALLY chomping at the bit to go buy a replacement, and even though TECHNICALLY we can afford it (no cc debt, saving aggressively), I asked him to wait until mid-July. Why? Because we spent nearly $700 on a piece of original art for our first anniversary in mid-June, and I just couldn't stomach the idea of having spent nearly $1000 on "non-essentials" in a single month.
Why not a used X-Box? Or is that totally out of the question?
I agree with you.. it sucks that it got stolen, but waiting until mid-July and spacing out your purchases is always a good idea; it stops you from overspending because you’re telling yourself: Let’s pace ourselves.
I'm a single mum with three kids, and when I was young, it was my best friend's mother who taught me the three greatest questions to ask when shopping.
1. Do I really want it?
2. Do I really need it?
3. Can I live without it?
Twenty years later, I still remember the wisdom she provided and I live by those questions daily… and I ask the same questions to my children now.
Great list of questions. Thank you!
(Note: I do think that 75% of my stuff I could “live without”.. but I want anyway :))
Now that I have committed myself to a more frugal lifestyle I apply do I want it ?or do I need it ? to every purchase I make. And as a consequence I make less purchases.
"I deserve it" has always sounded quite lame to me. "I thought about it, I wanted it and I could afford it" are the only sensible statements about a big purchase I think. Sadly, those who have the least often spend the most; they often cannot see the vicious cycle they create for themselves. On the other hand, I don't think it always fair to blame the poor for their poverty. Many of us have had advantages — like having parents with a work ethic, or who pushed us to get an education — that they have not. The only thing I know to do is – as you are — set a good example and spread the word about how to improve one's financial position.