6/10 people who get a bachelor’s degree, are women
Men start their careers at a median salary of $50,916
Women start their careers at a median salary of $41,000
Source: College in America Infographic
This is obviously a hot topic in our society today:
Why are women getting paid less than their male counterparts?
And why are women (in general), earning less than men?
For doing the same job, with the same responsibilities and duties, we are just getting shafted in the workplace.
But it’s a two-way street in my opinion, and we cannot blame it all on the big glass ceiling or old boy’s network.
Those are very real barriers to getting more money, but those are not the only ones.
We avoid degrees that make the money
I hate to say it. I really do.
Women avoid degrees that make money, like Engineering, Technology, Mathematics, Sciences.
I experienced the push from my educators into softer degrees like English, Sociology, History, Teaching, or Nursing when I was growing up.
Even in business school, all the girls seemed to gravitate towards Marketing, Advertising, Consulting.
There were very few of us who wanted to become Investment Bankers, or go into Technology as a career.
And I talked to my Engineering and Computer Science counterparts, and the girls banded together immediately, most of the time being the only 1 of 2 girls in a class, heavily outnumbered by the guys.
Luckily, I had parents who didn’t care either way what I became as long as I was happy and healthy.
My father encouraged me to learn more math, science and to push my love for technology further.
He was the one that forced me to recite multiplication tables, and to try and take more math classes.
My mother just marveled that I knew how to turn on a computer, and encouraged me because she loved that I could help her with anything she wanted to find out.
They never tried to limit my time on the computer (except to share with my brother), or to tell me: “Why don’t you become a teacher instead? Or a pianist?”
(Not that I am knocking teachers or pianists!! My mom is a teacher, and a fabulous one at that. It’s just not my thing. And I am a pianist, but only as a hobby.)
There were no fun, interesting and solid programs targeted at bringing girls into these male-dominated disciplines.
And there was even a Barbie doll at one time that socialized us all into thinking “Math is hard” when you pulled on her talking string.
We can’t just expect it to happen just because the government says so
We cannot ask for higher salaries to be handed to us on a silver platter.
Just because we have laws in place that say our workplace cannot discriminate against us by hiring a man instead of a woman, doesn’t mean that it will change everything and make it better.
Obviously.
A law is only as good as the company that really follows it to the T and acknowledges where it has shortcomings and blind spots.
Society doesn’t expect women to fight verbally
But maybe if we use guns?
Just kidding.
Generally speaking, society views men as being assertive, negotiators who are not afraid to speak their mind and argue for what they think they’re worth.
Society views women as being bitches or shrews if they try to do the above.
I have been called “aggressive” a number of times, and surprised a lot of co-workers just by having a backbone and not saying: “Oh, okay.”
And I am not talking about having shouting matches, I am just talking about a simple negotiation or arguing your point as a valued member of a team.
But we need to fight for what we think we are worth
I think this is what is holding a lot of women back is what I am going to call either fear or the hesitation of wanting to negotiate.
It’s not because of our soft natures, or whatever else.
It’s that we haven’t been taught that it was proper for a girl to:
- fight verbally with other females
- … or to fight at all with males
- get their way without being coy, manipulative or indirect
- disrespect her elders (read: at work or at home) because they know best *
*Men experience this too I’m sure. I just thought I’d throw it in as a good point.
So when a woman asks for more money during a career review, and management says: “You did FANTASTIC this year, great job….. but no can do”, she has two choices.
She can either say: “All right. Maybe next year“, and then go home frustrated, wondering why she can never seem to get a raise or rise beyond her position.
Or she doesn’t take no for an answer, but fights for the raise, saying:
“I don’t understand. I have glowing reviews from my clients, no tardy or sick days, fantastic job done on all fronts, and I mentored new colleagues.
Tell me where you see that I don’t deserve a raise this year. I am not asking for 50%, I am asking for 7%.
And based on my research, it is what I am entitled to receive, for the role I am in, the responsibilities and tasks I am assigned and work I have done for this company, as well as based on benchmarks in our industry.”
But now, in society’s eyes, she can be seen as aggressive, instead of assertive.
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
I wouldn’t say ‘entitled to receive’ during salary negotiations. I would say ‘what improvements should I make in order to qualify for a raise’, and then make those, and ask for accelerated salary review following that. Get them sweating, and delivering on what they promise. It doesn’t hurt to become indispensable at a particular job role. Negotiations get that much more fun if they think that if you’re not happy, and you’ll ‘walk’ then they’ll be in trouble as a company. It’s a game: they want to pay you as little as they can and still keep you, and you want to get as much as you can. They won’t give you a raise out of the goodness of their hearts. You’ll have to play the game. Ask them what they want from you in order to give you a raise, and then do it. They’ll have to give you ‘something’ for doing what they told you they want.
Another issue may be about pregnancy and maternity leave, breaks in service for child rearing, etc. I'm not certain that this doesn't still cost women, unfair as it is. If you have a choice between rewarding a woman who may/is about to disappear on maternity leave or a man who won't, I'm thinking it may be tempting to go with the man. I don't know an answer for that. But you are right, many of us could have chosen more demanding majors than we did.
Of course. Which is going to segue into my next post: Progressive Man-ernity 😉
A friend of mine was just talking about how he's going to get mandatory paternity leave when his baby is born because he's in the military. How I'd love to see that become more widespread!
This is really interesting, nice post.
I don't know if it's a regional thing, or just that I'm a few years younger, but when I was in middle school my parents took me to some "girls+math+science=success" conferences, which were run by women and had a few presentations by men. I chose to go into science, and haven't felt much resistance.
But, there have been many people (men and women, of various ages) that said to me along the way "are you sure you want to spend so many years doing research and possibly not getting any results?", and they often suggest teaching as an alternative. I think teachers are VERY important, and I'd actually like to teach at the college level some day. But I love doing research! And while more females receive degrees in science than males, there are many more males at the top, and there's a lot of talk about this among women in science.
Hopefully, over time, we can change the way society views "aggression" in females. I don't think it's unreasonable, look at how many more opportunities we have today as women than even our grandmothers did!
Great post. I think girls should be taught to be more assertive, not necessarily agressive, when they need to stand up for themselves. I especially love the dialogue you gave regarding why the female employee deserves the raise. It is actual dialogue that can be used in a negotiation.
You brought up a great point. No, women are not taught to negotiate. I know for a fact that is why I started out with a lower salary. There was room to negotiate. And because I didn't, I am essentially losing thousands of dollars each year that could have been mine.
And you're right, again. If we 'negotiate' with our male counterparts then we are being 'bitchy'. But I also know that once you do start standing up for yourself, the men will start to respect you (after you've earned it – lol).
This is completely true, its not sexist to say women choose softer degrees, its just the truth they choose sociology or art history, not against those majors but plenty of girls have said that they wished they had chosen a different major, ones that would get them jobs after college.
Its hard to make a life with a sociology degree, sometimes it takes time to work your way up in a humanities or arts related field and you need a more stable, boring job before making it in your desired field.
Oh yes I've stood up for myself at work at my last job, the lady who was bullying me didn't like it but I got tired of her bullying. Now I work for a different company, one that respects their employees. As women we must stand up for ourselves, whether its to a company bully, or to speak for ourselves at work regarding raises, fairness, etc.
This isn't the 1950s, women must take care of themselves today, with the divorce rate being 50% its wise for women to choose majors that pay, and to be wise in their careers and finances.
I think the fact that women don't go into higher paying fields is sad, but not surprising. Growing up, I wanted to be a doctor, but was routinely asked by parents, teachers, EVERYONE, "Do you really want to spend all that time in school? In science classes?" When I wanted to be an architect, there was always that warning, "That's a lot of math!" And when it came time to go to college, even though all I'd done for years as a hobby was coding, I wasn't interested in pursuing a computer science degree because, again, "That's a lot of math and computer classes." Nevermind that in high school, math and science were always my favorite classes, and that I was the strongest student in those classes.
My brother, who wasn't as good as I was in either of those subjects, was constantly being encouraged to go into more technical fields. Why not be an architect? Or an engineer?
I even had progressive parents. I just think we do a lot of subconscious nudging of girls into "easier," "feminine" fields, that are also lower paying. I wasn't even out of high school–I had never had a boyfriend!–before people were telling me to pick a field that would be flexible and allow me time with my children. I don't think boys are ever encouraged to do that.
Anyhow…this is one of my pet peeves. This is one thing I'm determined not to do with my own children. I'm not going to dissuade them from something they might really enjoy just because the subject isn't "friendly" to their gender.
I agree with much of your post, but something sticks in my craw everytime I hear this general argument about women “choosing” less well paying fields. I think most of us are drawn to what we’re good at, but the skills that are seen as more feminine are undervalued in our society. While I agree that girls need to be encouraged to try more “masculine” fields, as they may be great at it and love doing it, but I think there are deeper issues at hand. Since more women became physicians, the profession has declined in societal respect and esteem, for instance.
I agree 100% about being assertive though. I know this is a weakness of mine, but I’m working on it.
I couldn't agree more with your comment.
I completely agree with this comment. For me, it's what I like. I'm currently finishing up my criminology degree to be a crime scene analyst…. I just happen to like working with dead people [they don't talk back to you, like the live kind to 😉 ], and after graduation I'm going back for two years to receive my teaching certificate [I can teach criminology in high schools here].
I was told to go in to all the fields mentioned in the post, but I don't like engineering, math or sciences. I also don't think women are bitching about making less money the way you described it… there's a difference if a woman is a teacher and a man is a CEO. I think if a man is a teacher and is making more than I am, and we've been working the same years… that's where I have a problem. 🙂
I once read a study that said men request salary increases much more frequently than women do. That accounts for some of the inequality in pay. They're also more likely to negotiate when they first start a job, whereas women often accept the first offer.
Great post! Yes, it is a two-way street. Society dishes it out to us, but we keep taking it even when we are old enough to know better. It's hard, but that's why we need to keep questioning what we're told and try our best not to care about being called "aggressive", "angry", and "a bitch". (I've heard all of those and more, myself, for saying the same things that guys have said and been respected for — and usually a lot nicer since I rarely find the need to use curse words.)
I remember when I was a little girl and thought it'd be cool to be a lawyer. I still remember some older man saying, "Now why would you want to do THAT, honey? A pretty little girl like you shouldn't become a lawyer!" He probably had the best of intentions and wouldn't remember saying that, but it really stuck with me.
Then there were the COUNTLESS people who told me to become a teacher because, "That way you and your children will have the same schedule!" Never mind that I didn't want kids. "You'll change your mind when you're older! Plan for it now!" Well, I haven't.
And even though I was great at math and my math test scores were higher than my language scores, I THOUGHT I was bad at math. I just expected to be. And whether I didn't get something right away or was just bored, I ended up sabotaging myself when it came time to do the work by just not putting much effort into it. I think I would have liked math had I not felt like I wasn't supposed to.
As much as I love the topics I studied in college, I wish I had studied other things that would be making my life a bit easier now. I wish I hadn't gone with the flow so much. But it's not too late to learn. I can't afford to go back to college and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be worth it for my situation, but I have been teaching myself things and taking some online (non-college) classes.