It seems as though everyone would rather make more money than cut back on expenses.
Just the other day, I heard the following lines coming out of The Idiot:
“We don’t have any money coming in now, but we CAN’T give up cable TV!
What would we do all day in the home, since I’m not working now?”
Uh.. cook instead of buying pre-made, processed, frozen meals?
Go to the library and read?
Play with your kids and teach them how to sing, learn, read and be children?
Go to the park and take a walk?
Rent DVDs for free from the library?
Do all the little chores you’ve been ignoring because you were soooo busy?
It totally sucks to be at home, doing nothing, trying not to spend money, but when money is tight, or you are going into debt with each passing day, you have to make drastic cuts and changes.
But to be fair, he isn’t the only person to say that, nor will he be the last.
I’ve heard it from my brother, my sister, my friends, and just in general online around the blogosphere.
“Nuh uh.
No way.
My nails and my hair are THE most important things about me.
I am NOT giving up my manicures, pedicures or blowouts.”
I have heard that coming out of a girl at a party I was at.
She was willing to go into credit card debt for her nails and hair each week, because they were the definition of who she was.
While I can understand that taking care of yourself, and dressing nicely is important.. I don’t see how it can become so important that it defines who you are.
Or that it requires you to go into debt for it.
“We NEED a maid and gardener twice a week, we just don’t have time to clean, because we’re working so much.
And we eat out all the time because we have to.”
(My brother)
Uh.. if you didn’t have to pay your maid and gardener, and cut back on your lifestyle inflation, you wouldn’t have to work so much.
And no one has to eat out all the time if you’re organized.
You can spend 4 hours cooking one major pot of soup for the whole week, making stock from scratch to do it and it would not be a waste of time.
Why?
Because you can supplement it with freshly cooked chicken or sausage during the week to add to it, and having pasta inside for a heartier meal.
There, slightly altered meals for the whole week, that are different enough to be interesting.
But then again, I am the type of girl that LOVES to eat the same meal over and over again, if I really love it.
“It was $3000 a month for a mortgage and about $2000 more than we wanted to realistically spend, but the baby needed a house and we couldn’t live in that tiny shack.”
“We didn’t want a starter home. We wanted to just skip all that.”
The Idiot and a former co-worker said those choice lines to me.
Well, at $3000 a month, I am not sure you will have anything left for the baby.
Or for emergency savings, or college fund savings.
No one needs a house.
Much less, a baby. A baby doesn’t care if you live in a mansion or a small, but cosy home.
A baby wants food, shelter, love and attention.
Period.
So let’s be clear. We all want a house.
We all want a place to call our own and to do whatever we want, but no one NEEDS one, when there are other options out there, like renting.
And if you have to start with a small house, then do it. You’ll find that you seem to make do, and if you feel like you need to upgrade later, then you can do it.
Later.
Not now, before you’ve even made the money.
“We NEED a break. We work so hard, and we need to treat ourselves. Our debt can wait.”
The Idiot again.
Everyone needs a break.
Everyone works hard.
But it’s up to YOU to set the priority of whether or not you can have a short-term, blow-it-all vacation in Las Vegas for a week, or put that money towards your debt instead.
If you decide to go to Vegas anyway, then own it.
Live with your decision and love it.
Don’t feel guilty about it after, and think: “Gee I should have put that towards debt.”
No one is forcing you to do anything.
But sometimes, I feel like people need to step back, and say “Do I really need, what I think I need?”
You may be surprised at what you can live without, do without and actually need.
You may find that NOT having a membership subscription at Barnes & Noble for discounts, may make you feel less pressured to spend money on books to make up for the cost of the membership (true story, happened to me).
You may also find, that giving up that membership, will force you to get out of the home, go to the library and spend a wonderful day, being able to check out ANY book you desire, to read and peruse.
And if you love it, you can buy it after. Not before.
You may find that no one cares if you wear the same sweater or outfit twice, and you do NOT need to buy a new outfit each month.
You may do a little organizing while you stay at home, trying to save a couple of bucks, and find that cherished necklace behind the dresser you thought was lost forever.
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
I love this post, and the comments as well. Sometimes I think I'm the only person who thinks this way!
I completely agree. If I didn't work for the local cable company, I wouldn't have cable TV at all.
Hahahaha.
This is a hilarious post. I can't believe no one is commenting on the humor.
The quotes are really entertaining.
I thought they were funny too 😉
OMG the first one about cable is almost word for word out of my husband's mouth!!! seriously he thinks it makes sense… sigh
The worst comments I ever heard were in collge. Students (which should be educated enough to understand the value of money) say well I have loans to take care of eating out and partying. They treat the money like its "free" and dont realize how high their student loan payments will be. Also it makes me cringe when I hear some students who take out 50k+ in loans for a degree that will only pay 35 k a year max and they would of been better in that career field just working outside high school. (higher up and higher paid)
That worries me too. I always thought if I took out $60k in loans, I’d have to get a job earning at least $60k.
Of course, I could not have predicted that…. but that was my assumption
Well, speaking as someone who has cable, I will say it's not a need. But it's a high-enough priority for my entertainment purposes that I make an allowance for it.
Unlike a lot of people, I can't just go out and do stuff, thanks to chronic fatigue. I could read in my spare time, but I already go through 2-3 books a week — and that's WITH watching too much TV. When you are stuck at home all day every day — with maybe the energy to run an errand or two, if they're nearby — there are a LOT of hours in the day.
So, maybe that's yet another justification. I don't know. (I do wish families with cable would cut the hell down on their premium channels, though. One Showtime or Starz subscription is enough to pay for Netflix, which means a lot more movies. Most people watch these premium channels a lot less than they think.)
I do agree that there are some pretty stupid justifications out there. And no one "deserves" anything. No matter how hard you work.
Please know that I was not picking on cable specifically. It was the quote/what he said.
he could have said: car, special orange juice, biking membership… it would have been the same thing.
This is amazaing and oh so true. As I read it, I started to recall all the things that I wanted to have or do. I found alternate ways of getting or doing that would cost less. I used to pay $85 every two weeks to get my hair twisted. Eventhough it takes about 6 hours from wash to completion I sit at home and watch movies (i dont have cable) every two weeks to get it done.
I will be sharing this with others
You are just FABULOUS! I absolutely loved this post and it SO true. The other day I sat down with my Quicken software and looked at where my money went in February – $248 in Dining Out!! I was so disgusted. That money could have gone right to my savings where it belongs. Here's to starting a new month…xoxo
GOod luck 🙂
I'm loving the tough love. It's time to get real!
Oh man. I love it when you share The Idiot stories, hehehe.
Oddly enough, since we purchased our first home, which we thought we'd be hard pressed and rubbing pennies together to pay for, we've found ourselves with *gasp* a bit of room every month. Why? Because we've cut back like mofo's.
We're ridiculously anal about water usage. The heat doesn't ever, ever go above 58 (put on a sweater or get a blanket, wouldja), I do as little laundry as possible (don't worry, we're still very clean – just more careful), we keep the lights off as much as possible (with all the natural light we have now (WINDOWS!! Glorious WINDOWS!!) we don't have to have many on!), I unplug everything that doesn't HAVE to be plugged in (how long can the fridge be unplugged for…just kidding)…what else…
Oh yeah – and I got a job! It's not a fabulous, high paying one or anything – but it takes care of a month's worth of groceries at minimum – and starting this month I'm picking up an extra shift each week to ramp up the property tax saving.
I think that we made a great decision. We, as a family unit, are noticeably happier now that we've moved out of our trashy apartment. We are proud of our home, excited for the renovations we're planning and we are really, really content.
If a person isn't willing to sacrifice (ie cable or manicures etc), then they have no business complaining about their debt. I rarely talk about finances on my blog now because it's slow – but it's steady which equals boring PF fodder, LOL. We realized that it would take us many years of being miserable in a sh*tty apartment before we'd be debt free (damn line of credit, our biggest mistake EVER). So we shifted our priorities and are now much happier – and still paying off debt because we made (and make) sacrifices.
Anyway, I realize this comment is all over the map but I just wanted to get it out there that although we decided to make a huge financial decision in buying a house while still having a fair sized existing debt, we're willing to sacrifice to make it work and are so much happier with the way things are. 🙂
I have realized that I do not need as many clothes, etc. as I feel inclined to have.
True story: There was a HUGE sale this weekend (think: clearing out all the winter boots, etc.) and I was thinking, wow, these are such great deals/can't miss this/blah blah etc. etc.
And I thought, well if FB (and those other girls you featured) can go a YEAR without buying new clothes, surely I can pass up a sale. So I did. I wondered if there was some super cute pair of boots that I was missing out on (as I stood in the shoe department lol), but I have shoes (two pairs of boots even) that I can wear so I'll be fine 🙂
Please don’t give up anything that is truly a once in a lifetime sale or item!!! 🙂
Like if you find a truly perfect pair of boots you have been looking for, for 10 years for $50 — TAKE THEM
LOL 🙂
Look who's an enabler… 😛
HUGE enabler. 🙂
I hate the "I work hard and deserve" this comments the most.
Me too. We all work hard, or at least that’s what I am assuming. But what gets me is that life doesn’t always have a reward
Sometimes you do the right thing, and people hate you for it.
Sometimes you do very bad things, and you get lucky off it.
I just don’t see where the correlation is in people’s minds about working hard = deserving.
It is all about choices and consequences. Anyone can find justification to spend money. The questions is, How much longer can I play on the "payments make me happy" merry go round. It's almost in our natur e to want more. The people that truly get ahead are able to say no to wants and yes to needs. If they desire a 'want' they can save up and pay cash for…what an idea!
Good post.
Wow, I can't believe some of those lines. Who NEEDS a maid or gardener? Talk about confusing needs with wants. There are so many ways to reduce expenses if you just invest a little time. I like your examples. I'm right there with you – I have drastically reduced the amount of time I spend cooking because I do it in big batches, and then portion the meals into smaller containers that are easy to freeze/re-heat. It actually takes less time for me to re-heat a healthy homemade meal than it would to stop at a fast food joint.
The best thing about learning to rewear clothing is calculating CPW and watching it go down. Or is that just too too PF geeky? 🙂
Honestly, I think that's how you show that you love what you have, and own that feeling of loving what you already have: use it!
Amy D of Tightwad Gazette recounted many similar conversations. People would ask her to comment on their financial difficulties; they would veto every suggestion. I too have had such conversations. It's part of the frugal way.
Fun post!
My favorite one I use is "But I have worked so hard a deserve a (starbucks, lunch out, special snack, etc)."
I think we all have a deep need to feel important and valuable so we set up our own system of rewards and needs to get there… hmmm
You are correct in that people need to reevaluate what they spend their money on. A great book about this is titled "Your Money or Your Life" and you can even go and check it out at the library for free ok minus maybe turning it in late at 10 cents a day oops. I am currently guilty of this but, this debt I can pay cash for plus will not have to charge. Your Money or Your Life basically advises that we should all first and foremost get rid of our credit card debt especially when you pay on average 18-20% or more on any unpaid balance if you think about it what you bought at say a department store for oh say $100 and you did not pay it off and kept making the minimum payment you could end up paying twice as much for. NOt cool in my opinion. There are other great tips in this book so I suggest that everyone read it if they are really wanting to get out of debt ASAP.
I think you should definitely emphasizing the OWNING part of this whole fiasco. I, too, am tired of Idiot-esque people talking about how much debt they have but then they HAD to buy the new Tory Birches. FOR REAL? Did you HAVE to buy them? Well, if you did HAVE to buy them, then maybe you don't HAVE to pay down your debt. Just saying…
When people talk like that, frankly, I don't waste my breath. On the other hand, I don't let them make me feel embarrassed about my frugality. Most of my friends know I own 3 houses, I'm debt free and retired at 51; I let that speak for itself. I might talk about what I do, like making bread crumbs in the blender, or using left over fruit in spice cake, but I don't try to talk them out of their ways or their debt. It's that old horse and water saying, you know?
I agree…when I buy something I love it forever! I really like the idea of living simply and reducing expenses. No point on remaining on the hedonic treadmill.