People always ask:
“I’m starting to save, and it’s beginning to hurt. How do I save without feeling like I’m saving?”
At first glance, you might think: What kind of fool question is that?
But I am not guilty to admit that I thought the exact same thing when I first started!!!
When I first started budgeting and thinking about my money, I felt like saving was being in a horrible mental prison.
“I am making all of this money, 70% of it is going to debt each paycheque, WHY THE HECK DO I NEED TO SAVE THE REST? ARRRRRRRGH!”
It was torturous to see my money disappear so quickly towards debt, and then to know I had to spend another 30% of it in bills and a small, small bit of it on fun.
I didn’t see the point. I felt angry. I wanted to go on shopping binges.
I wanted to do MORE. Buy more. More of everything.
I felt like life was not fair, why didn’t I learn about money sooner, blabbedy bla bla….
*cue the waterworks and the pity-me princess routine*
After I got over myself, I realized that my focus on money, debt and saving was very negative.
So how do I do it now without throwing a mental temper tantrum at life?
My Secret: Change your focus
I needed to change what I was doing from being negative (crying about deprivation of money and stuff), to being positive.
I am doing what I did before (actually, MUCH more), and I’m happy doing it…(which is something I never thought I’d say).
I can still buy anything I want
I tell myself all the time:
You COULD buy that if you wanted to.
But do you? Really?
Is it going to improve your life significantly?
Or do you just want it as an impulse purchase?
Think about the precious space it’ll take up in your suitcases when you move — is it worth the space & weight?
99% of the time, it’s just my inner repressed shopaholic lusting after something shiny and new, but then my saver personality takes over and is way more practical.
So yeah. I can truly buy anything I want if I set my mind to it.
I just CHOOSE not to, which is very different from not being able to.
…and saving money is the happy result!
My #1 priority is not to buy things to clutter up my life and physically tie me down anywhere (hence the aversion to home ownership), or otherwise known as “minimalism”.
I choose not to buy.
I don’t buy what I don’t need or really, really, really want.
Since I don’t buy anything I don’t want, I save the money.
And the more I save, and the more I realize how unnecessary STUFF is to make me truly happy, the happier I get thinking about and using what I already own.
It sounds so New Age-y and strange to get happier over time, but it’s true.
My top 3 happy (PG-13) buttons:
- Great, stimulating & fun conversation (BF, Friends, Bloggers, Socializing in general)
- Delicious food – it’s seriously orgasmic when it’s done right. Totally makes my day.
- A really great night’s sleep
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
Oy, my comment got lost? So I was saying that I save money into an account that I can't touch for 12 months. I also save money into a second account that I can't touch for 6 months. This helps me to save up to buy minor luxuries (contacts count as a luxury these days…) and medium-size luxuries (a much needed holiday).
I'll supplement this with a retirement annuity in a bit and it's great that my government incentivises me to do this — they refund 18% of the money I contribute towards the retirement annuity.
I save money into a fixed savings account every single month as soon as my salary reflects in my bank account. So I'm going to take it up a notch by getting a retirement annuity this year. Best thing is of course that my government incentivises these savings machines.
I've been really stressed lately, and found it harder to tell myself "no" (or as you point out, ask my self if i really really want it). I need to regain focus.
But tell me, why must one be 13 ( PG-13 ) to practice your top 3 list. I think it is entirely G rated. 😉
Oh. I don’t really watch movies.. so I don’t know the ratings *turns pink*
G it is!
I was just teasing, don't turn pink on me! 🙂
Thanks for the post! I like your "trigger to save" phrase. I'm going to start using this to remind myself to save more. What helps me save is thinking about the economy. Recently-I just had a friend who lay or may not lose her job and seeing people I know affected hits close to home.
P.S. Agree with you that food is wroth splurging on!
Love the post! My friend (who is selling off her precious impulse buys on eBay) calls it "making her operation more mobile".
Because let's face it, we do have A LOT of STUFF.
As someone who is in the throes of changing her money situation, I am feeling EXACTLY how you felt when you first made the change. You're a money-saving rockstar, darling! 🙂
Personal finance bloggers love spending money on experiences rather than material things.
True story.
My triggers to save are my daughter I really want to try and be a good example not to mention help her to be more money wise, my mom who has maxed her credit cards twice now and has had to take out a second mortgage on the homes she owns/owned and finally my nomadic lifestyle having to pack up all that "stuff" has made me realize that I really do not need anything at all and need to be happy with what I have right now.
I use the "out of sight, out of mind" method of saving. I have money taken directly out of my checking account and moved into a goal oriented savings account. I wrote an article about using SmartyPig to do just that. SmartyPig can share your goals with friends and family so that they can help you to save. If its your birthday and you're saving for a trip to Barcelona, they can contribute to your Barcelona savings to bring you closer to your goal. Its fabulous. You can read more here: http://www.organize-more-stress-less.com/home/201…
I'm actually surprised at how easy it is to save money, now that I don't eat out as often and have managed to avoid shopping altogether. I do get urges to buy new and shiny things, but I give myself some time to think about it and usually find that I don't need it.
For me, it also helps to have a specific goal in mind. I can't do the: 'ok, let me save as much money as I can' goal. It has to be tied to a reward!
Your post hit me spot on. I've created a goal to have 12K in my savings by 2012 and to be able to do that I have to save $430 every month. I just keep thinking of THAT goal and keep focusing my energy on it which prevents me from going into impulse buying/buying binges.
I totally agree with changing one's outlook in the process of saving/paying off debt. Having a concrete financial goal in mind always helps put things into perspective as well. Like what kind of retirement you desire, or even things in the short term such as moving out of your current residence, owning, etc. It can even be a frivolous purchase such as buying a car, but as long as you aren't breaking the bank by doing so, saving can really be a lot of fun.
My triggers to save? Hmmm, realizing that another pair of shoes isn't going to make me thinner, happier or richer. Hahha. I'm a manic saver/spender. I go through periods where I'm amazing. I get stuff paid down and saved up, then I'll go nuts and spend like an addict. I really want to get our last credit card paid off (I owe like 1200k) and then our two cars (10k combined) and then tackle hubby's student loans (59k!!!!). We don't have a lot of cc debt, which is a huge help, but that dang student loan is like a 2nd mortgage.
You're exactly right, we CAN buy those things but we choose not to.
When I first started each purchase became a struggle of how much do I REALLY want this item. And for the first 6 months savings was hard and it hurt. But now it is second nature and I'm saving SO MUCH MORE than I was when I first started.
Changing the mindset to "I choose not to buy" gives one the feeling of control. When one's in control of her life, she's happier.
J and I give ourselves $X/week to spend on life expenses. Once in awhile, it's not easy, we want to buy extra stuff but we encourage each other to stay within the budget because we have a common goal in mind.
You read my mind! I am on a supercharged plan to pay off more debt and save more money in the next 9 months than I have my whole life. It really is about shifting focus. I am really optimistic about my new outlook on finances and my former need to "buy stuff."
I agree, feeling sorry for yourself, or feeling deprived is a big problem with saving. One way I've gone around it is to look over my 'budget' at the end of the month and see what expenses didn't really make me that happy. . .for example, I quickly decided that since I was spending as much for coffee at Starbucks as I was on airfare to Europe each year, it was easy to decide that I didn't want coffee that much. . .then I found a cheap swap that made me equally happy: my own great coffee in a fabulous thermos. Presto.
Saving is always easier for me if I just don't tempt myself. While I'm good at refusing to buy stuff I really don't need, I find just NOT browsing is better for my sanity.