Inspired by this brilliantly written rant, shared by Maria of anthimeria in my Google Reader, I felt a real need to write and talk about this post.
Here’s the gist of it:
What happened to my bonus? What happened to my job? What happened to my country?
Why can’t it all go the way it’s supposed to go?
Why don’t these drugs make me feel better?
Where’s that goddamn waiter with my salad?
Have you seen the stupid weather today? Is this really all there is?
You have but to take a peek in the comments section below this column, any column, any article on this or any news site whatsoever, to see just how mean and nasty we have become.
It does not matter what the piece might be about.
Obama’s speech. High speed rail. Popular dog breeds. Your grandmother’s cookies.
The anonymous comments section of any major media site or popular blog will be so crammed with bile and bickering, accusation and pule, hatred and sneer you can’t help but feel violently disappointed by the shocking lack of basic human kindness and respect, much less a sense of positivism or perspective.
Our disappointment begins to curdle, to turn back on itself, poison the heart, turn us nasty and low.
It shifts from merely being a national mood or general temperament, into a way of being.
A wiring, deep and harmful and permanent. It’s all very disappointing, really.
We want it all, and we want it all now for cheap
It made me think of when I was in college, taking a Sociology class which addressed the exact issue described above.
My professor basically said that we were all a discontented, disenchanted bunch, because we expect it all, for cheap, in bulk and aren’t willing to compromise for anything less because society has repeated to us at every step of the way: You deserve it all.
We learn in school we can be who we want to be, but there can only be 1 Prime Minister or President, and only a small percentage of us will actually become astronauts, models, actors, doctors, lawyers, or whatever else we dreamed of as children.
But we are being told that we just have to believe and it will come true. Like a Disney dream.
He went on to talk about how we were fostering a growing false sense of self-entitlement in our culture and younger generation, and I am even more sure of it being true.
We don’t want to wait for anything — This line is 5 minutes long? Eff this.
We don’t want to save for anything — Just charge it and pay it later.
We expected THIS, not THAT.
We’re always lusting after the latest, greatest whatever.
Or feeling green with envy with what our friends have, where they’re traveling, how much money they make or the shoes on their feet.
As a culture, we are quite disappointed when things don’t turn out our way because we have come to raise the bar so high, that when reality finally hits us… we turn into angry, demanding demons who have had our pie-in-the-sky dreams shattered.
Why isn’t there a White Knight or White Queen who can come along and save me from all of my money troubles?
Why can’t I be just like Suzy Smith? She seems to have it all!
We are all just so terribly unhappy and disappointed.
I’m NO exception!
I don’t know about you, but I have caught myself more than a few times with that exact, demanding, spoiled, envious attitude described above.
I am not proud to say that, but I am proud to say that I am aware of it & trying to change it.
I just keep in mind that there are people out there, living in my city, eking out a living who would LOVE to be in my position.
Did you know, the average salary of a Canadian is around $30,000 or less?
It really puts things into perspective when you hear that, and look at what can be purchased in a whole year for that salary.
It means you don’t get the fancy car, big mansion or newest gadgets.
It means you are just struggling to keep a roof over your head and to get some decent food on the table if you live in the city.
There is a time and a place to be jealous, frustrated, whiny and sad; but it certainly isn’t all the time.
I kid you not, I allow myself a little pity party once in a while, but after I think carefully about what it is I am bitching about, it usually helps me put things into perspective, and put it behind me.
There are people out there who are being crippled by debt either of their own choosing, bad decisions, or what have you.
But the past is in the past, and they are stuck with whatever cards they were dealt at the moment.
They’re struggling, and sometimes I need a good mental slap to realize that I am extremely lucky and privileged to have been born where I was, raised as I was and given the opportunities I’ve been given.
Sure, a lot of it was hard work for the most part, but luck played a small role in it as well.
I didn’t just fall into business school — I worked to get there.
But from each piece of hard work, came a certain amount of luck — in being offered the job; being in the right environment where companies wanted to hire new graduates, and so on.
I could have turned out the other way.
I could have made all the right decisions in life and ended up $100,000 in debt, working a minimum wage job that can barely make the rent and pay my loans, eating beans out of a can and lamenting the sad events of my life.
We don’t want to be happy with what we have
I don’t know where I first read that above sentence.
It may have been during that same class in college, but nevertheless, it made a big but slow impact on my life.
Over the past couple of years since graduating, I realized that I should shut up and just be happy.
In my situation, it was a choice that I was not taking advantage of.
I didn’t have anything holding me back, except myself.
I could choose to be unhappy, and be envious about everything and let the green-eyed monster suck me into trying to one-up Jane Jones…
…or I could choose to be happy with what I have, and work on my perspective.
It’s certainly the cheaper option, I’ll tell you that much!
But not the easiest.
It’s easier to spend money to make yourself feel great, beautiful and special… but a lot more difficult to reach that point by just reflecting on your life and changing your attitude.
Still, I am going to keep trying. Perspective really is everything.
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
Recently I was REALLY low on money and debts were eating me from all sides! That was UNTIL I decided to make money on the internet. I went to surveymoneymaker dot net, and started filling in surveys for cash, and surely I’ve been far more able to pay my bills! I’m so glad, I did this!!! With all the financial stress these years, I really hope all of you will give it a chance. – 5748
I’m glad to see you also enjoyed this piece! That Angelina photo really illustrates the sentiment perfectly.
It’s something I often notice on twitter during the day; complaints everywhere – the weather, the line at the store, bad service, a meeting gone too long…
I really try to pause when I catch myself in this thinking and stop it – you’re right, though; it’s not easy.
.-= Maria´s last blog ..PB&J =-.
It’s easy to complain. It’s a lot harder to shut up and do something about it or take it easy instead!
I’m trying to adopt a more laidback attitude when things don’t go my way. I’m pretty chill most of the time but when something gets me riled up, I’m a firebomb
Excellent, thought-provoking post. It reminds me of the quote attributable to Abraham Lincoln: "A man is as happy as he makes up his mind to be." Words to live by.
Another wonderful quote.
Great perspective. Reminds me of something someone said to me once: You control most of your destiny by choosing how you respond to things Well it was put more eloquently than that, but I don't remember the exact words. But you get the gist of it. I think it takes a lot of experience to reach a stage where you are happy with who you are, while simultaneously trying to improve yourself.
But I don't agree that those crippled by debt are "stuck with the cards they were delt" as you say. I think those people made a conscious, deliberate decision to go in debt. Maybe i'm one of those mean nasty commenters your post speaks of, but if you choose to go in debt, it is your responsibility to pay it off. Blaming anyone/thing else is simply offensive to the rest of us who work our butts off to pay off our debt.
btw, isn't that Brad & Angie in that pic? I'm pretty sure that wasn't a scene from Mr. & Mrs. Smith so where's that from???
Well, not everyone gets into debt because of making conscious decisions to go into it.
Maybe they had no choice, and no other way? —-> an emergency operation, a health problem that popped out of nowhere and they just weren’t covered in the U.S., or what have you. There’s always an exception, I think. It’s just not in 99% of the cases.
We Canadians don’t have that problem here, but there are reasons for why people go into debt other than for shopping or for student loans. I just wanted to point that out…
Generally speaking though, I 100% agree with you! People who get into debt for school and other things CHOSE to go into it and have a responsibility to pay it off rather than shirk it.
Yes that is Brad & Angie! — It’s from a magazine shoot I think 🙂 For when they did Mr and Mrs Smith
This is all so true, and unfortunately I’m not immune to such feelings that I “deserve” it all, but at least we can recognize it. There is a lot I take for granted, and I have to remind myself of that every time I start to have a hissy fit when something isn’t exactly as I want it.
Going back to your comment on being happy with what you have….I agree, you do have to be happy and thankful. However that shouldn’t be mistaken with settling, or becoming content with your current situation if you don’t think it’s ideal. I think to a certain degree discontentment has a lot to do with why the US became what it has…..being unhappy with your situation is a great motivator to work hard and excel. The danger is when people are unhappy, but then just sit around and bicker about it. (Which drives me crazy!) Anyway, nice post.
Agreed!
Discontentment and resentment is a great way to motivate you to push yourself harder. But sometimes, we just sit around, eat a tub of ice cream and whine…
Not everyone is like this, but if someone repeats to me: I hate my job. I wish I were a different person.. every day, day in and day out.. I want to shake them to shut up and love what they’re doing or change.
I am stumbling this post. It is so true that our generation is so ‘now, now, now’ !
Thank you!
Wow-well said FB! I try to remind myself and DH of this regularly. We have so much-more than adequate shelter, we never go hungry, jobs that challenge us, people that love us-what more does anyone really need?
I’m quite happy with my life, which is probably why I’m all roses and sunshine right now
If things went bad, I’d be really in the dumps… but reminding myself that even in the dumps, I am in a great position, helps.
So true!
It's easy to get caught up in the sense of entitlement and instant gratification. I think things come to us (this generation) the easiest. I remember when I got my first credit card after we moved to England – buying something and paying for it later at such a young age was unheard of where I'm from. The sense of freedom was overwhelming. Even though I'm aware of the pitfalls of instant gratifiaction now, I'm amazed at how often have to step back and catch myself.
Having said that, I don't have a problem with "not being happy" with what you have. I have a problem with being "unhappy" with what you have. I'm big on self-awareness and improvement, I constantly want better for myself but now, I'm willing to earn it.
The distinction you made between being “unhappy” and “not being happy” is a fine one
It’s (like others have said) fine to be unhappy with what you have, in the sense that you are working to change yourself.
But to be unhappy and do nothing.. and then complain about it, is the pits
Good post! There’s really no substitute for life experiences and good childhood-rearing/ values. I hope when it boils down to it we still have reasonable priorities and expectations (I have no problem with dreaming big and actually encourage it – but it’s all about the approach to breaking down or building up your task). I agree ppl need to be able to adapt to adversity and the spolied brat attitude will curb the possibilities of realizing those big dreams. Hopefully when that happens the individual can overcome it without too many adverse effects on those around them. short of online life counselors, it’s really up to the communities or the individual to teach themselves this common sense!
It can be hard to see the forest for the trees. You don’t understand why things are working out the way they are, but sometimes instead of fighting it, going with the flow is the best thing.