Confessions of a Foodaholic

By
FB @ FabulouslyBroke.com
 – January 15, 2010Posted in: Thoughts

Inspired by one of my favourite bloggers, Asian Pear, I too shall come clean with my food confessions.

It was also done by eemusings!

(That’s one portion right? No? .. Damn it!!)

I too, have no sense of food portion sizes.

Meat the size of a card deck? Like those huge, old-style Tarot Card decks, right?

To me, whatever the size is in the package, is the size I will end up eating.

My only saving grace, is that I don’t eat the entire steak in one sitting if I have rice and veggies to go along with it. But if you just let me eat the steak alone, it will disappear.

If I am on vacation, I pig out without thinking.

I put on 10 pounds in Portugal. In 3 weeks. If I stayed there longer, I am not sure I’d have been able to stop.

This means that even if I am full, I go for seconds and thirds, and it isn’t over until I am slowly unbuttoning my pants under the table.

And that’s everyday that I can do it.

I just feel like I can’t eat that food tomorrow if I wanted, so I want to fill up on it now.

I don’t like eating food off the bone with my teeth.

I MUST pull it apart with my fingers and then eat it like that.

There’s something about sauce getting smeared on my face that is decidedly unappealing.

This includes ribs and chicken wings.

I need to eat a hearty breakfast.

I am not talking about 3 eggs and some bacon. I am talking about 4 eggs, 4 slices of bacon, 4 sausages, 2 waffles and baked beans.

I also have no problems with eating leftovers, cold pizza, or any kind of savoury meal in the morning.

I am not a person who can just eat a piece of fruit, some yoghurt and a slice of bread with peanut butter on it and say: Yum!

The smell of garlic or onion frying, and rice cooking makes me instantly hungry.

So does watching Top Chef. Or any kind of food show.

I don’t like things overcooked

Raw fish, rare beef. That’s my thing.

Even after finding out that ramen..

…is actually deep fried before it’s put into the package, it made me hungrier for it.

“So THAT’S how they keep the noodles from getting mushy and cooking quickly..”

I like adding stuff to it — meats, or seafood, eggs (at least 2) and green onions.

Imagine this. Times three. Each meal.

I am a rice fiend.

BF jokes that a Chinese bowl of rice is never enough for me.

With one chicken thigh and drumstick, I can make 2 meals out of it, with the amount of rice I eat each time.

I go through at least 3 heaping Chinese-bowl sized things of rice per piece of meat.

I can’t help it. Even people at work used to tease me about how much rice I chomped.

If I like a dish a lot, I can eat it for 2 weeks.

Or longer. I haven’t tried. But I don’t get bored of food easily.

When there is lots of yummy food on the table..

..I try to let others have at least one piece.

Then it’s ON. I attack the plate until it’s done.

Do not be fooled by me. A wife of a friend once commented: You look like you’d only eat enough for a 5 year old.

She was proven very wrong that night.

Story time!

Once, BF was at a BBQ and he was roped into making the stuff for the 4 people present.

(The host was The Idiot, and he said he had no idea how to turn on the gas grill or cook or so he said, but invited us over to eat, so that BF could cook and prepare the food for everyone. Nice huh?).

Anyhow, each time BF finished cooking a piece of meat, he would place the platter in front of me, and let me dig in.

Others were trying to be polite, thinking I was too small to eat more than a pork chop, but it wasn’t until the end that they realized BF was subtly feeding me first over the others by placing the platter in front of me first.

They ended up only getting a piece of meat each, and I ate 3 pieces on my own.

BWA HAHAHAHAHAHA. Teamwork, bitches!

(Okay, so it was a bit rude. But so was asking BF to prepare, cook and serve at a BBQ that you are supposedly hosting.

They served bread and cheese after, and since I was half full from all the delicious meat, everyone else attacked the cheese platter like hungry dogs until they were satisfied.)

My god that looks so good….

I secretly love chicken meatballs with sweet and sour sauce.

Even though I know it’s bastardized, Americanized Chinese food, there’s something addictive about the combination.

But “chop suey” is just disgusting.

Who wants to eat beansprouts cooked in a slurry of cornstarch and water? Ick.

(And no I didn’t grow up here.)

Spicy food makes no sense to me.

If my tastebuds are numb from the spices, how am I supposed to taste the food? I might as well be eating mushy cardboard. I just don’t have a palate for that stuff.

I will try really odd combinations with food.

Like mixing alfalfa sprouts into my burgers.

Or putting white rice inside chicken wraps.

Or putting bacon and ham on waffles, with maple syrup and topped with a poached or sunny-side up fried egg.

I can never make up my mind in restaurants.

It takes me forever.

I have to know narrow it down to a protein, and then choose from there with eeenie-meenie-miney-mo.

Or I pick 3 of my top choices from the menu, and wheedle someone into ordering one of them so I can taste it.

I am the worst for free samples.

Ikea and their swedish meatballs in their test kitchen? Don’t get me started.

When I was younger, my brother and I once hogged the corner where the guy was plating these meatballs.

We were swiping meatballs two at a time when his back was turned.

By the time he realized what was happening, we were speed walking away with extra meatballs in our hands and our mouths.

There. All of my major food confessions. And I keep emergency chocolate too.

What are yours? 🙂

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About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.