Becoming a Guiltless Mom

Well-Heeled wrote (a while back) on the fact that she wanted to be a Guiltless Mom.

As I grow older, I really think that that no-nonsense manner is the best way to act when a mother (or father, or both, as it was in my case) decides to work overseas, work domestically, or for whatever reason cannot spend as much time with their children as they’d like (or think they should).

This matter-of-fact approach shows children that things, while maybe not ideal right now, will eventually be OK.

I think children are resilient and can adapt to most circumstances as long as they know that they are loved and wanted. Don’t introduce guilt or confusion or self-flagellation into the picture. Most kids will do just fine.

Forget Supermom. If I become a mother, I just want to be a guiltless mom.

I think that’s exactly it. I want to be a guiltless mother.

I don’t want to apologize for having to work, to not be there every single night to tuck them in and read a book because I had to work late for a deadline one night a week.

I don’t want to ever feel like I need to substitute my love with money (the way Mr. Jones does), or to always feel guilty for being at work when my kids are at home without me.

And she’s totally right — kids are very resilient.

I was, when I was young. My mom never showed any guilt for not being at home when we were younger (she did when we were older), because she did what she had to do.

I have been thinking of how that could work in my life however. When I become a mom, I was thinking of a freelancing life.

See, right now.. we work around 3-6 months (hopefully longer depending on the project) and that money is enough to spend the whole year without working, and saving a good chunk of cash.

So maybe, when I have kids, I could work a couple of months or so, and spend the rest of the year with them off.. or the next half a year off.

On projects, I cannot work part-time. I have to be there full-time to interact with the team and the clients, so that’s out of the question.

My other option would be to get a permanent job at some corporation and just work the whole year instead of working a couple of months (possibly in another city if I have to travel) and have the rest of the year off.

Still kicking around ideas, but I’m leaning towards working full-time for part of the year (including travelling if I have to) and then staying at home the rest of the time to catch up on life, and to be an unconventional part-time kind of SAHM/Working Mother.

Have any of you ever thought about being a Stay at home Parent?

Or if you ARE a SAHP (ether part time or full time), how has that worked out for you?

About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.