New on the grapevine.
Me: So what’s new?
Idiot: I’m becoming a doctor! I want to take advantage of this time off and educate myself more.
Note: He quit his $100k+ job in the middle of a recession because he didn’t want to travel.
Not because he was fired.
Me: WHAT? A doctor? Like a physician, or getting a doctorate? How long will it take?
Idiot: No, no not like a physician. And it will be a year.
Me: So.. it’s just a year or so? That’s incredible!!! I thought PhDs were on average, 5 years or so. So could you become a Professor after?
Idiot: Um.. well, it’s not really technically a PhD.
Me: ……………………………………………………… so it is what then?
Idiot: More like a post MBA certificate.
Me: But not a PhD.
Idiot: But it’s LIKE becoming a doctor. It’s the same thing, really.
Me: *thinking: I am not a doctor, but I play one on TV…*
… Uhh yeah. Right. It’s the step before getting a PhD then right?
Like you do the first year or so of your doctorate and if you decide to continue you can do 4 more years?
Idiot: No. It’s not really.. er.. the first year of a PhD. It’s more like a second MBA.
Me: Like a… refresher course? Reviewing all of the MBA courses but in a month or two per area?
Idiot: Yeah. I guess that’s it.
Me: Okay. When did you last take your MBA anyway?
Idiot: 5 years ago.
Me: Uh huh. And the cost of this refresher course is around what?
Idiot: $5000 for the year, but I can spread the year out if I want. It’s just credits here and there.
Me: Mmmmmmm…………….
***End conversation with FB’s brain exploding****
Notes:
He cannot afford this $5000 MBA refresher year.
The guy has a $250,000 mortgage outstanding, at least $30,000 on credit cards and NO SAVINGS WHATSOEVER from my last calculation.
He is literally freaking out over paying $3 for tomatoes, and says he needs about $80,000 net to “live” a year.
He is paying for his mortgage with his credit cards.
His wife doesn’t and refuses to work.
And yes, she is a citizen, and CAN work if she chooses to pick up a minimum wage job.
He is in an industry that doesn’t even need an MBA.
Much less, a post-MBA refresher course.
He would have been better off putting his money towards:
1. Getting a PMP (Project Manager Certification), which is what would give him a boost to his credentials, as he claims to all employers that he IS a project manager.
2. Or getting the required certificate for his industry in the area that he works in. It costs $2000. I worked it out, and every single employer has been asking for it from all of his resume submissions.
3. Saving it in the bank account. What precious little he has left.
I mean.. can we say, train wreck coming?
I tried to prod for more info, and give him some suggestions like getting a PMP or an industry certification instead, but he already paid up front on his credit cards and signed up for the courses at a local college.
*sigh*
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
Wow.
I agree with you completely. It won’t make his resume look any better. Employers will note the MBA and skim over the refresher courses.
I would understand him if he went to the courses AFTER work and paid CASH. Other than that….sounds like he’ll be qualified for another private student loan and an excuse to say he’s in school.
.-= Duddes02´s last blog ..Student Loans and such =-.
About getting the questionable "degree," the guy may be idiotic as a fox.
Some years ago, I had a student at the Great Desert University. She was a nice lady who had grabbed her bootlaces and was hauling herself out of poverty. But that said, she could barely compose a literate sentence.
After she finished her bachelor's degree at GDU, she got a master's and a (heh!) "doctorate" through one of those online diploma mills, this one based in England. To give you a clue, they accepted "life experience" and her tourist trip to Africa for course credit.
This lady, who is still barely literate, is teaching ENGLISH at a community college here! Those jobs start at around $60,000 and go up to around 80 grand. Administrators in the community colleges can easily make six-figure incomes.
And a coworker at GDU, one of the laziest women I've ever met, got herself an Ed.D. in higher education through an online program. This one took a little longer and at least was run through a state university–though believe me, just because a state school is offering one of these programs doesn't mean it's not fraudulent–and then stepped out of her lower-level scutwork job into a nicely paid administrative position.
Few employers pay the slightest attention to where your degree came from or to what its quality might be. All they want is the credential that says you have something that looks like a master's or a doctorate.
Now I have to say about my former student, she was not stupid about money. She had a great deal of practical street smarts, and she also observed the psychology and workings of academia and played them to her advantage. But an English teacher? Lordie!
Good points.. but he already has a MBA.
He’s taking.. a refresher MBA course that is going to take him (supposedly) a year to finish, and spending money that he cannot afford to pay for it.
Not only that, employers in the IT industry don’t care about your MBA. They don’t freaking give a crap if you have a PhD, they only care that you have the right certifications, and he doesn’t.
He needs to pick up a PMP (Project Management) certification and another IT certification, because it seems to be his bottleneck in getting jobs
Curious … do you actually know the idiot or created this marvelous "persona" to be the beard for your stories. I love it!
He’s real. I know him IRL 🙂 Identifying details have been changed.
This is my first time reading about the Idiot. Listening to stupid stuff causes my heart to race and my lungs to tighten up. A friend was just telling me about this guy we went to high school with who wants to go back to school to get a masters in engineering.
Formal education can be a great thing, but it's not so great when you don't know what the heck you want out of life. My former classmate has been all over the place since we graduated from high school. Even if you have enough sense not to go into debt for education, you should still be pretty sure about what you spend your time and money pursuing.
At times, it's appropriate to follow the advice "don't just do something, stand there."
BF and I have both tried to gently, and tactfully without butting in… tell him what we think he should do
But he thinks he knows better.. so .. We can’t force him to do anything.
Hmmm, you're wasting your energy on that guy (and his wife)! It sounds like they will always have money. As a fallback, I'm sure Mommy and Daddy will bail them out, if things really hit the fan (Now I'm just being jealous 😉 ).
I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't land another $80,000 to $300,000 job… I bet he (or his wife) even has a few trust fund floating around…
No. They don’t have trust funds. They’re from middle-class families from Mexico.
They’re just IDIOTS. Not trust fund babies.
ahhh, my misconception. I think I'd just shake my head knowingly and keep the conversation light with them… If you do pounds some sense into them, you have to tell us…
good luck with that one (you'll need it).
Hey FB,
Have you tried being blunt and honest with this guy? This guy needs a big whack of reality over the head. If I were you (or friends with this guy) I wouldn't hold back and give him a piece of my mind if it meant helping him realize what's going on.
BF and I have tactfully tried…. but he doesn’t really listen to us.
When he’s talking, he’s in his own world, thinking. And it’s only until 15 minutes later of our talking that he goes “What? Really? Where?”
… So we just stay off that topic now.
Ah, I do so enjoy those conversations that leave you feeling like your head is an unexploded grenade, threatening to go off at any second.
Like when I was talking to one of Tim's friends who lives with her husband in her MIL's rental home, is often late with part of the rent and, at the point, was worried the water was going to get shut off. Later that day, a guy FINALLY came around and gave the husband some money from under-the-table work a few months before. The husband wanted to go out to the casino and even offered to spot us $20 or so, since we were reluctant. The wife said she wanted to go out to eat. Granted, it was only $20 or so for dinner for the two of them. But the fact that they have premium cable channels didn't help my headache. Nor did the fact that, a couple of months later, they had big, energy-sucking Christmas decorations up in the front yard. And, when they got about $4,000 back in a tax refund, they didn't save a single cent of it. I even suggested, while they were waiting for the refund, that they put some money aside in an emergency fund, so they wouldn't have to worry about utilities and such getting turned off. She didn't really address that but did mention that her son wanted a race car bed, so they were going to see where they could get the best deal for that.
I left there a few times with a really big headache.
You just.. have to avoid these conversations with them.
I just don’t talk about money if I can help it. We focus on other things.
So, why doesn't his wife work?
So there will be no income for a whole year?!
How is he going to wing that??
The wife doesn’t work because she doesn’t want to work.
Being a cashier, or doing any sort of blue-collar work is not her thing, even if they can make money in the mean time while he watches the kids.
Or even if HE worked a blue-collar job.
She’s an “artist”. And “artists” don’t work those jobs, in her mind.
They have been unemployed since February.
He’s going to wing it on credit cards. He told us he applied for a new one, and I spied applications on the table with his wife’s name on it.
Let Unle Darwin take care of the business. 🙂 He will learn the value of money and his time pretty soon.
Hmmm, I'm still lost at his comment "I'm going to be a doctor"…
Is he from Bizzaro World?
No. It’s just their way of fronting an image that doesn’t exist.
I think he feels that we’re all idiots who don’t know any better.
Like that since it’s AFTER an MBA, it HAS to be a doctorate. You see?
So he just calls it a doctorate.
gotcha! good times…
Reminds me of that time I became an astronaut. All it took was a CPR refresher course…
*LAUGHING*!!!!!!!!!!!
CPR refresher. You kill me.
FB – Maybe he has boatloads of cash you don’t know about? A huge trust fund somewhere?!
I thought chicks really digged Doctors anyway? 🙂
BTW, I’m I losing my reading comprehension? Who’s “he”?
.-= Financial Samurai´s last blog ..Book Review & Giveaway: The New Rules For Mortgages =-.
No. No huge trust fund.. else he would have bragged about it.
Doctors yes, but not DOCTORATES! 😛
The Idiot is a recurring guy on my blog. Read his antics here: http://fabbroke.wpengine.com/money/ (under Subsection “The Idiot”)
Both hilarious and ridiculously sad, all at the same time. Yikes!
Wow, I love reading stories of The Idiot. He's such a train wreck. Most of those "certificate" programs are just money makers for universities. What is he hoping to get out of it? And can you even pay your mortgage with a credit card?
I don’t know what he’s getting out of it, because he only took his MBA 5 years ago, and nothing has really changed.
A refresher would be after 20 years, I think!!! Just to be updated on the new things going on.
And from what I understood, the courses are going to be pretty much the same as what he took 5 years ago.
He’s just trying to keep busy.
I think he’s just wasting money, when he should save it (preferred) or invest it in other more relevant certifications (as noted)
I have no idea if you can pay your mortgage with a credit card, but I am assuming you can take out cash from a credit card, deposit it into your account AND THEN pay your bills.
LOL "Idiot: But it’s LIKE becoming a doctor. It’s the same thing, really." I just feel the sudden thud in my heart of the 5.5 years I spent in grad school just being about "the same thing."
Man… I'm glad that you know this guy just for these posts… I love your "idiot" series =)
BF and I are glad to know him too! 🙂
It makes for great blog fodder…
There are times when investing in your education is a fantastic idea. If you were laid off and can government grants to get a relevant degree while you work a less enticing or part time job in the meantime, that's fantastic.
This, however, is not so fantastic.
I'm not like a doctor. And I'm not like a doctor on TV either.
Sounds like he's looking for an excuse to get a student loan. If so, he's even MORE of an idiot — if that is even possible.
Gah!!! So frustrating… How do you even keep a straight face while talking ot him??
I don’t.
I just change the subject. I get really angry. Not at him, but just frustrated that I can’t say what I really want to say.
Guy is in denial. And I can’t do anything until he agrees to help himself first and admits he is NOT who or what he thinks he is.
People…are…crazy. That's all I can say to that. Maybe he still isn't down in the dumps enough to make a good rational decision. He might not be freaking out about his mortgage/credit card bills. Once it is staring him in the face, maybe he'll make better decisions.
To paraphrase my boyfriend on the issue of stupid people: Don't worry, natural selection will breed them out.
I just .. feel so bad for his kids. I wish I could mentor them when they get to the right age, to teach them TRUE money values
I can see it sort of being the same thing that I went through, but much much worse as it’s all on credit.
well, hopefully, the kids will learn better habits as they grow up. they'll learn from their parents' mistakes.
on a side note, your idiot and my idiot (re: my uncle from my lastest post) sound very similar. i've come to the conclusion, there's too many idiots around.
Maybe they’re the rule and we’re the exceptions 🙂
I would say that on a list of the top 100 things he *should* be concerned with right now, getting an MBA refresher course would be like…number 400? 😉
It's going to provide zero added value minus maybe a self-esteem boost for him–renewed confidence in his current capabilities. I'm sure there are cheaper and smarter ways to accomplish that.
And yet he's still alive and well… not that I wish him otherwise, but where's justice?