Now that the holiday season is approaching, it’s time to break out some posts about how to keep your spending this holiday on track.
Every holiday is special in its own way, but the trend seems to be: GUILT.
Even armed with the best intentions to stay on budget this year, everyone has gone through these phases: feeling guilty for spending too much, too little or not on enough people.
Others, might see the holidays as carte blanche to let loose, break out that credit card from its frozen block in the freezer, and let ‘er rip.
So before you go shopping for the holidays (those of you who are eager beavers to get started early), keep these guilt traps in mind.
The Dreaded Homemade Gift Guilt
You decide to go smart and frugal this year. Let’s bust out some white chocolate macadamia nut cookies you say.
I can wrap it in a pretty bow in those cute jars I’ve been saving, handwrite a sweet note and send it along with my love.
Then you finish baking.
You look at the cookies all neatly wrapped, and suddenly feel like it’s not enough.
You decide to bake brownies. The normal kind, not the happy kind.
Then you decide a handmade picture frame would complete the gift.
And so, on and so on.
FB’s Advice:
STOP! Make a decision to make great cookies, with a handwritten note and be done with it.
They’re going to love it. Stop stressing.
You put a lot of time an effort into the gift, and there ain’t no one I know in the world who would turn down their nose at such a delicious, comforting, straight-from-the-heart gift.
If you feel like you must add something, add the recipe for the white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies.
And don’t forget to send me a jar. 😉
Outdoing yourself
You bought a gorgeous cashmere sweater for your sister for $50 on sale. But it looks like $300.
And you couldn’t resist.
She MUST have that Hello Kitty doll as well (or is that just me?). Now we’re up to $80 for the gift.
Now, your handmade photo montage in a picture frame to your parents and a $20 gift certificate for a dinner out, seems cheap in comparison.
So you add a little something extra and get mom a massage kit.
But what about dad? You can’t just get something for mom and not dad.
And so on, and so on. It doesn’t stop!
FB’s Advice:
It IS enough. Stop.
No one sees price tags on gifts, and they only see the thought and heart that goes into it. When in doubt, give food to everyone.
And set a budget so that you don’t go over for each person.
Maybe your sister had it extra rough this year, and needs a little extra pick-me-up.
Your parents aren’t going to Google and find out the price of everything.
They’re going to love the thought you put into the frame and just be happy to have you back home with them.
(OMG, do they even know how to get online!?!
My parents don’t even know how to turn on a computer.
You’re totally safe.)
The Uh-Oh Surprise!
So, you didn’t expect this.
Tom, Mary and Jim chipped in to get you a kinda expensive little lamp for your desk, to help with your nearsightedness and to give your desk a little chic touch.
Crap.
You didn’t have gifts for them. Now you have to get them something.
But there was 3 of them!
Do you buy 3 items? Of equal value to the one item you got? Or a third of the cost each?
This is getting confusing. You just decide to buy 3 items, of a higher value than what you got just so you can be sure it’ll be well received.
Let’s just make sure they’re all of equal value, or else you’ll have to outdo yourself and keep adding little extras here and there.
FB’s Advice:
Okay. You have to of course, reciprocate. But why do you need to reciprocate with a gift, per se?
Why not take them all out to dinner? 3-birds–but-only-1-bill.
But next time, if it’s just one person who catches you off guard like your neighbour or your friend, consider a thank you dinner date, or a gift certificate to where they always seem to be shopping.
Or consider baking them something yummy.
(Or buying said baked goods and pretending it’s yours. No one will know. I didn’t say that.)
The One-Up Jonesing
Okay so.. last year, you gave your friends a pretty little Christmas decoration for their tree, because you know they’re into that stuff.
The next year, they reciprocated with a little battery automated vacuum bot because you were always complaining about the dog shedding all over the place.
Then, you decide to buy them a set of gorgeous porcelain plates to add to their collection.
And they reciprocated with an amazing back massage machine that surely cost more than a set of plates. You feel like your gift this year, of a set of pretty plates just didn’t compare.
So now, you’re thinking that you need to give them a case of wine this year, since they’re real wineheads…
But they end up reciprocating with a pair of expensive Broadway tickets to the sold out show in town.
Now you’re amped up. You want to do better than a pair of Broadway tickets so you aren’t caught off guard with a “dinky” gift again this year.
Maybe a pair of tickets to the Caribbean….?
FB’s Advice:
Time out. Stop. Stop the presses.
This one-upping Jonesing of each other will never stop. You will never go back to just giving each other Christmas decorations for $10 any more, if you start upping the stakes every year.
This is a dangerous poker gift game, and you just need to stop, and give them some homemade cookies to end the rivalry, and the damage to your wallet.
Yes. Cookies and baked treats are my answer to any and every gift.
Why?
A) you can eat them and they won’t leave a lingering sense of guilt or a mess
B) it’s more heartfelt when you make them something and they get to enjoy it immediately
C) there aren’t any hidden costs (an iPod needs a new hard case too, you know)
D) it’s eco-friendly — you aren’t buying them new things, you’re just making something from what you had at home
E) they will smell good in the home during the holiday
F) they won’t have to bake anything for themselves
G) everyone loves baked treats even if they say they don’t
Did you recognize yourself in any of these situations?
I did.
If not, stay tuned for Part 2. We are sure to find your poison.
Next: Major Holiday Busters Part 2
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
We’ve decided to be responsible and do some scaled down gift giving this year. I’m hoping that everyone will still love the gifts we’ve chosen with love!
.-= Kristin´s last blog ..It’s Party Dress Season Ladies! =-.
I am HUGE on the guilt factor. I try so hard to not feel bad about what we’re giving or how much we’re spending, but it definitely creeps in. My strategy is to meticulously search for great deals so I can maximize my budget.
I love making food as gifts, too!
.-= JvW´s last blog ..Outsourcing Home Improvement =-.
Stop spying on my life!
haha
this is awesome.
now, how much do I have to pay you to phone me every few days now through December and say “Stop. No! STOP”
🙂
I’ve definitely gone through the Homemade Gift guilt before. I usually make baked goods for people I’m not too close with (therefore don’t know what they’d want!), and always end up looking at it and thinking, “It needs this! It needs that! AAAGGHHH!” You’re right, though, the cookies are more than enough!
.-= amy kelinda´s last blog ..bordeaux! =-.
Oh this is another X-mas tradition I follow. My oldest friend and I never EVER hand over gifts to one another on birthdays or christmas. There is no expectation, and instead we get to shop over the year (sometimes two when we forget, but it makes for bigger packages). We just put together useful and heartfelt treasures and ship them or hand them over whenever. We’ve sent them out when one of us felt bad, or a rousing day of Christmas in July (or May).
It started out as understanding that we each had massive materialistic families to shop for, and we grew to love it enormously.
I have that family who tries to out do the others, and it was getting ridiculous. I have always been for giving heartfelt gifts, but because none of them appreciated them I never ever knew how to shop for them, and Christmas turned into giving lists of exactly what you wanted and the family bought it for you. Christmas sucked!
I know the economy is shit right now, but I can honestly say I love what it has done to family Christmas. I have a big immediate family and because of pinching pennies all the adults decided to throw a name in a hat and so every person got ONE person to shop for on Christmas and we laid down a budget. BEST CHRISTMAS EVER! A lot more heartfelt stuff got exchanged, and I was able to actually afford and prepare for it. It was also fantastic, since we did really want to give to the others in the family we all just pitched in and added to the feast. I brought new alcohol recipes and some desserts; I stayed tipsy and full all day and it was Amazing!
But staying on budget is the best, the one year that I shopped for the most people I prepared a 100$ budget and stuck the hell to it, and I actually made it. Its possible!
The only concession we made was for children (thankfully only one at the time) and they still got gifts from everyone. But this made my X-mas budget about 50$.
I love this! I’ve been toying with the idea of homemade gifts this year (esp. because my job-holding status is currently a bit nebulous, which is tough on the finances) and this post totally convinced me to go for it. Nobody’s going to judge me for not cluttering their apartments with trinkets! And who doesn’t love hazelnut-espresso cookies?!
.-= That Kind of Girl´s last blog ..The Kind of Girl Who … hurtles with the unwashed masses =-.
Nothing like a gift-giving holiday to bring out the guilt and guilt-trips. A little more honesty and communication can go a long way. Last year, when Hubby’s job was in danger, we had to be honest with our family and friends and set limits. We still celebrated, but did more homemade treats and gave the same $25 gift card to everyone. It was really hard, because I really do enjoy the gift-giving aspect, but if I cannot afford it, I’ll deal. Besides, I really like baking, too. This year, people are either getting quick breads or biscotti, maybe cookies.
.-= michelle´s last blog ..A NEW BRUSH =-.
Hubby and I are both kinda lame…. We do tiny gifts for everyone, period. You wanna give us something crazy? Fine, that’s your thing. I’m not going all out for *one* day. We favor the Japanese way of doing Christmas a bit more. (It’s more like Valentine’s day.)
.-= Foxie´s last blog ..I Can Hardly Wait…! =-.
I am happy to say that I totally don’t recognize myself in your post at all. I don’t do gifts for the holidays and if someone didn’t get the memo and decides to buy me something then hopefully they will get the memo next year. 🙂
Great post! I have to say that I am part of that Guilt factor – not feeling like the present is enough and having to add to it. You’re right, I need to STOP. Wise, simple advice. Thank you.
And I need to make sure I do it when shopping for my kids, too.
.-= Money Funk´s last blog ..Selling Everything Progress =-.
That definitely describes how I used to be! I’m one of those people who can’t even pet one of my kitties without sometimes feeling guilty that another cat isn’t getting the same amount of attention. So, yes, I find giving Christmas gifts to be really stressful as I try to decide how much we’re going to spend on whom and what’s ‘”fairest”.
But for the past couple years my husband and I have just said “no” to exchanging Christmas gifts. Period. As broke as everyone we know is, and as hard as we are to shop for, most people definitely seemed relieved. But the people most relieved are us because we get to just avoid all that nonsense — as well as the stores. You couldn’t pay me to shop on the day after Thanksgiving (or the weekend before Christmas). We’re definitely going to be enjoying Buy Nothing Day this year.
Of course, we do occasionally buy gifts just because. We’re not total Scrooges. I actually like buying “just because” gifts much more than Christmas gifts because there’s a greater element of surprise and no pressure.
oh dear. I’ve been guilty of almost all of them except the out-doing myself one. ~__~; Although, I am going to definitely go frugal again this year or have a No Gifts-Just Dinner policy with my friends.
.-= The Asian Pear´s last blog ..Snow Boots! =-.
Yep, I’ve done at least one or more of these over the last few Christmases. My husband’s family goes nuts at Christmas and we have in the past tried to match their craziness, only to spend way too much and regret it. We’ve had to go into hiding at Christmas and just send gifts instead, this way we don’t overspend our way into debt. This year will be the same, we’ll hide out at home and send one family gift to each family. It’s much more economical and we get to keep our sanity 🙂
.-= Little House´s last blog ..Big Box Stores =-.