FB’s first-ever Trip to NYC!!

My total budget for everything was $1200 CAD.

The hotel and plane trip would have been $700 as my original estimate, and I wanted $500 CAD for shopping, eating and possibly a dress for the upcoming summer wedding so that’s how I came up with $1200.

I wanted to round it off to $1500, but I decided at the last moment that I’d try to stick to my budget and make smart choices, but if I spent $1500, I wouldn’t kvetch over it.

I had it converted into USD and the exchange rate was 1.257500 when I did that so I got about $397 USD and $0.77 CAD in change.

Here’s my final budget:

BEFORE I LEFT

FB’s Mom: So, what hotel are you staying at?

FB: The Days Inn on Broadway and 94th.

FB’s Mom: Oh.

FB: Oh?

FB’s Mom: Oh. Umm.. that’s where we stayed.

FB: So?

FB’s Mom: Okay.Now I don’t want to scare you, but you may want to be careful.

FB: I don’t like where this is going.

FB’s Mom: ….Not just with that hotel, I mean it can happen at any hotel. But the last time we went, I came home with scabies.

FB: WHAT!?!?!? What the hell are scabies!?

FB’s Mom: Well, the doctor said that it could happen in any hotel — not just low end ones, because it depends on the people who stay there.

And if they have scabies, their skin flakes fall into the bed as they sleep and sweat and then it transfers to your skin.

These skin flakes actually carry a type of a worm, that buries itself deep into your skin and lays eggs which is what causes the itching.

FB: *feels crawlies going up her arms* Does the itching feel like eczema?

FB’s Mom: Exactly. It’s unbearable to sleep at night, because you want to rip your skin off. Even if you are very clean, you can still get it.

I got it!

FB: You sound so proud of it, Mom.. 😛

FB’s Mom: Your brother also came back from a trip last month after staying at a nice hotel and he got scabies too, so it doesn’t happen only in low end hotels.

He had to buy a special bedspread or bedding that he now uses to sleep on, on all hotel beds.

And if you get scabies, call me!

FB: Will do, Mom.. will do. 😐

Naturally, I told BF all about scabies and painted imagery about worms crawling into his skin.

He almost wanted to cancel the trip, but then I reminded him that we sleep on the floor (his back cannot take soft hotel beds) and he felt a wee bit better, but he still brought long pants, extra socks and a long-sleeved top.

GETTING THERE AKA HOW I CURED MY STARBUCKS ADDICTION

…was the first of 2 hot messes. The cab ride to the airport wasn’t so bad, but the seats were so soft, they almost jarred BF’s back into a spasm.

Then we got on this dinky little plane that seemed to be doing all right in the air. I even ate 2 sandwiches and had a Starbucks Chai Latte.

Here’s a shot of NYC before we were about to land. BF hogged the window and didn’t even take pictures! (I airbrushed his face out of the shot)

But as we were about to land, the pilot must have been dozing or something because it started to rock back and forth like nobody’s business.

I have extreme motion sickness (It is unbelievable, truly. Unless you have it, you cannot imagine what it’s like to have such sensitivity to motion. Even shaky tables in restaurants make me very ill).

Anyway, that rocking near the end, did it for me. I stumbled off the plane, tried to keep my lunch and Starbucks down while we took a rocking bus from LaGuardia into the city, and I felt a surge of (slight) relief as I got off the bus.

Then I promptly went into the nearest Starbucks and threw up everything.

I now get queasy at the thought of a Chai Latte, which I guess ends up being a good thing for my wallet in the end.

We checked into the Days Inn Hotel for $80/night on Broadway and 94th.

Looks cute from the outside no? Not so cute inside.

And it is really worth the $80, and by that, I mean the rooms were disgusting.

The carpet was dirty, matted down.. I basically wore my shoes the whole time, switched into socks and refused to walk on the ground if I could avoid touching it.

We also didn’t sleep in the bed, but the bathroom was nicely updated, I wish I had remembered to take pictures, but it was really the pits. Cramped, dirty, no light, bad view… totally worth the $80 we paid for.

The elevators sucked too. They kept rocking back and forth when they started and stopped which did NOT help my queasiness.

<— The Marriott Residence Inn
For the last 2 days of our trip, we checked into the Marriott Hotel Residence Inn which was a HUGE improvement and absolutely (not sarcastically) worth the money.

I paid with 70,000 points, so the 2 nights were free for us, but if we had to pay $200 a night to stay in NYC, I think we’d fork over the cash for that because we’ve seen the low end of hotels.

I don’t have any comparison shots, but trust me, the Marriott Residence Inn was 1000 times better than the Days Inn.

For one thing, there was space. And wall outlets to plug in our cameras and my HP Mini 1000 Netbook.

The bed was nice, but too soft, so we made a little sleeping nest on the floor, and it even had a safe in the closet that you could set your own password on and lock away your valuables.

It is New York after all.

The view was INCREDIBLE from the hotel.

We were on the 30th floor and it was not the best view EVER, but you could see some of Bryant Park, and the Met Life building across the street.

Huge improvement.

Bryant Park was just down the street (picture shown at the bottom). Too bad I wasn’t here for Fashion Week, it must have been mayhem there. And the NY Public Library is behind the Park.

I thought a little cupcake action would do me some good, so I bought one at the famous Magnolia Bakery. I got the Red Velvet Cupcake for $2.50 and BF got the Vanilla Cheesecake for $4.50.

I wasn’t sold on the cupcake to be honest.

It was a bit dry, the whipped icing helped but it needed to be a bit sweeter and more sugary in my opinion. BF’s Cheesecake was good, but he wished they had a plain one without vanilla in it because he felt it ruined the taste.

Then we just wandered around Times Square.

I have literally never seen so many cabs in my life. There are clearly more cabs than regular cars and buses, and that is exactly what I expected of New York. It must be hell to own your own car here.

It was really cute to see such original and fun signs for the subway instead of boring square ones. That’s something I appreciated in NYC – y’all are creative!

In the day time, it looks sort of bland (maybe because it was too sunny), but at night, it’s when all the crazy ish happens.

It was just so overwhelming and exciting to be in the middle of such ENERGY.

Everyone was wandering around, talking, eating, pointing, taking pictures.. it is something really energizing to be in the middle of and I thrived on the sheer amount of people, flashing signs and feeling of being in the middle of the world.

However, with that being said I am not sure I’d like to live in NYC for the rest of my life.

Of course, I wouldn’t be living in Times Square per se, but I think there is too much energy for my everyday life and the city is just too congested and clogged. For that reason, I preferred Dallas, TX.

Near the end of our trip I started getting annoyed with people just stopping in front of me (“Touristes!!“.. how ironic I’d be saying that) and blocking our way, the traffic always stopping, starting, honking, yelling.. it was too much for my senses.

I can see why people in NYC run away to the Hampton’s in the summer to de-stress.

We saw some strange things like really tacky weddings that allowed the mother of the bride to dress in a colourful mermaid dress (she stood out more than her 16-year old daughter!), nasty purple bridesmaid dresses (if you look at the picture, the guy in white suit is the pre-teen groom) and the famous Naked Cowboy.

We escaped to Central Park, and it was not as magical as I had hoped.

I mean, it was still incredible how large it was, with its landscaped ponds, rocks and how a whole park could be in the middle of such a busy city.

But I guess it’s because I got there before everything turned green and before the flowers came up, because while it was beautifully landscaped, it was too early for us to be there to really experience the effect of the greenery.

We also saw that famous bridge that they always seem to show when they pan over Central Park.

BF: LOOK! It’s the famous bridge from Central Park they show in all the movies. It’s just like Sex and the City.

So cute.

I also saw a man posing as the Statue of Liberty, and felt calmer just walking around the park, after the hubbub of Times Square.

Even though we aren’t religious at all, we still appreciate the beauty of old churches, so we visited 3 while we were there.

Two were by accident, because we were just wandering around 5th Avenue in New York.

The third one, we took a bus all the way from downtown to get to St. John the Divine Cathedral which was really breath-taking inside.

The top row of shots is the church downtown that looks to be in the same style as the bottom shots of St. John the Divine Cathedral.

The right shot is of a little brown church in the middle of NYC. Kind of boring inside, so we didn’t take any shots.

My favourite shot was of the devil hanging off the side on the left.

I found him funny with his little horns and wild face, bending backwards. The church of St. John the Divine is HUGE!

In one of the churches, I took a picture of BF inside the church pretending to pray while kneeling to send to his mother as a joke with the headline “Finally got him into a church to repent his sins“. (She knows he’s not religious whatsoever).

The stained glass windows and images were really incredible. My camera sucks so I couldn’t get good shots of them, but they were just ethereal.

And the ceilings were SO HIGH! I like being in churches just because you feel so small in the middle of such a large church and it puts everything into perspective for me.

Then we wandered over to Chinatown to compare it to Toronto and Montreal’s Chinatowns.

Canada does NOT compare with Chinatowns in the States, let met tell you. The SF one is gorgeous and the NYC one is HUGE.

As we walked up Canal Street, it was kind of sad to hear “Miss? Miss? Coach? Chanel Handbag? Gucci?“.

I am not into designer bags or goods, but if I was, I’d buy the real thing because buying fakes, knockoffs or cheap designer bags is just plain illegal and probably funds the triad or mafia gangs and drug trafficking.

So I found it sad for some reason that every other person who came up close to me kept on whispering in hushed tones that they had Chanel for sale.

Anyway. It was pretty clean for a Chinatown, which is not true to what China or Hong Kong is really like, and the food was incredible.

We ate at Penang (41 Elizabeth Street at the corner of Canal).

I had the Roti Canai (Pronounced “Rowh-tee Ch-na-I“) which is a Chicken curry with Roti which is like a thin Naan bread for $3.50.

BF had the Malaysian fried rice at the bottom left (delicious coconut flavour), I had a lychee drink and the Nasi Lemak (Pronounced “Nah-see Leh-mahk”) which is coconut rice with curried chicken, pickled vegetables, anchovies and onions.

Our total bill came out to less than $30.

Absolutely outstanding, especially the Roti Canai. It was truly authentic and even now as I am thinking about it, I am craving a big bowl of it.

The colourful cakes at the top are 9-layer cakes, and one of my favourite Chinese desserts. Again, very authentic, and can be purchased at Sanur (18 Doyers Street, in the back streets off Canal) for $0.70 each. No receipts given, so I had to write down how much it cost so I could add it to my budget tally LOL…

FB: May I please have a receipt?

Lady: WHAT? *disgusted look* NO receipt. No receipt here. No.

FB: Oh.

Lady: No receipt. *glare*

Throughout the days there, I tried to eat as many American/NYC things as possible.

I couldn’t eat a hotdog however, it just did not appeal to me (I am not a fan of compressed, mystery meat), nor could I stomach a pretzel because I find them very dry.

So, I discovered Whole Foods. *HEART* I am in love with American grocery stores because you can literally find anything you can dream of eating in those places, unlike in Canada where I have to search out specialty markets to get what I want.

Got white sushi, tried some brown rice sushi (only in the States could you guys dream of making brown rice sushi but I found it a bit too chewy for my liking).

It was incredible. Just as good as in a regular restaurant, although not the best I’ve ever had. But the fish was plentiful, fresh and large pieces being wrapped into there.

The sushi you normally get in grocery stores are thin slivers of SMOKED salmon, so I was very happy to see thick chunks of raw delicious salmon in there.

The upper left is Jamaican jerk chicken from a street cart on 51st St. near Seventh Ave.

That ish BURNED MY MOUTH UP!

But it was SO tasty, especially that rice (was missing the plaintains because he ran out *sob*), that I couldn’t stop eating it even as I was crying from the heat (I’m a baby).

Also tried a Pax Wholesome Foods Adobo Chicken burrito which was pretty fantastic, except I found the chicken too dry to eat. The coconut lime rice and the Pico de Gallo (chopped tomatoes, cilantro and onions) were good enough to eat on its own.

At the bottom I tried (for the first time), a Whoopie. I loved the icing and cream inside, but the outside cake was too dry, and clearly industrial baking (wow, am I a food snob or what?).

Wasn’t too thrilled with that experience. I felt like it needed another buttercream layer on top of the Whoopie to make it edible.

Lastly, I tried a chocolate rugelach (Jewish pastry dessert), and I didn’t find it to be anything special (sorry!). It tasted like a regular, pastry, a bit dense and dried out, and the raisins added into the mix with the chocolate, ruined the taste for me.

I don’t like the kind of tart raisins mixing with chocolate unless I specifically feel in the mood for that flavour profile.

BF was also a rock star in the Marriott Residence Inn Hotel.

He bought some delicious Morbier cheese, fresh onions, an heirloom tomato and some roasted chicken and fresh bread from Whole Foods and made something like an open faced sandwich.

I ate it like a tostada.

And then he ripped up some roasted chicken, chopped the rest of the tomatoes and onions and made another meal out of that.

We finished it off with some Haagen Daaz pistachio ice cream (which we CANNOT find in Canada), and some olive oil tasting at Zabar’s (which is also pretty cool by the way). I love how they put bread out in big bags for you to use to taste the olive oil and NO ONE is watching you.

In Canada, whenever they give out or put out samples, they always have someone there standing and watching you, as if you’d run off with a big bottle of half-filled olive oil or something.

I hate that about sampling in Canada.

They never want to give you all of the samples of all the olive oils or cheeses, and they make you feel so guilty for taking more than one or two pieces of bread…. but isn’t that the whole POINT of sampling? To try everything? Once? Twice? And possibly buy a bottle of that oil?

Ugh.

So we wandered over to Chelsea Market which we had heard a lot about.

Actually, not what we expected. Don’t get me wrong, we found a lot of great shops like the Italian food shop, a great produce/fruit stall (Manhattan Fruit), and a fish store, but it was .. well, small.

The way my friend had talked about Chelsea Market, I thought it was massive and impressive.

Still, it was cute, and at 6 p.m. I scored 2 cupcakes for 50% off at Eleni’s Cupcakes!

I got the lemon and buttercream, and the chocolate ganache and raspberry.

The ganache raspberry one was cute, but totally gross. I had to scrape off the ganache off the top and toss it, and just eat the raspberry buttercream inside.

The lemon buttercream cupcake was a lot tastier, I daresay, better than the red velvet cupcake at Magnolia Bakery.

This was my downfall, as they had buttercream on top of the cupcakes and the cupcakes were NOT refrigerated, so I guess the buttercream went a bit bad and curdled in my stomach.

I spent the night curled up on the floor whimpering and rubbing my stomach because the buttercream was not settling in well.

With that being said, I guess if I got there early in the day to eat the cupcakes, it would have been a better experience, but that kind of sealed the deal for cupcakes for me.

I didn’t eat any more the entire trip.

We also visited the Financial District which was awe-inspiring, but at the same time, boring.

I did notice a lot of police officers around, and with German Shepherds, which made me a bit uneasy (I don’t really like dogs), but overall, it was a serious kind of place to be.

Sort of quiet.

I guess inside, it must be mayhem when the stock markets open.

And it’s a shame visitors aren’t allowed inside any more, I’d love to take a picture of the place inside (BF saw it once, many years ago and said it was not as big as it seemed in movies and on TV, but quite small and cramped).

We also dropped by Grand Central Station (totally had a Serena van der Woodsen Gossip Girl flashback) and they had this amazing zodiac ceiling which I could not get a clear picture of, but was pretty cool.

We also went by what I call the Justice Area, which was really the most boring part of the entire trip because I am not into those kinds of buildings and I found the Financial District marginally more interesting.

We also dropped by where the Guggenheim was near Central Park, but didn’t go inside. Instead, we took pictures of how cute it was outside so we could pretend we visited it on Facebook. Just kidding.

We did however, pay to go to the Top of the Rock ($20, not $18) instead of the Empire State Building that would have been around the same price, but we would have gone to the higher levels and spent $35.

The view from the top is INCREDIBLE.

Well worth the $20 USD, but I suggest you go in the summer because it was A) damn cold and B) Central Park was brown instead of green and magical.

I missed the Twin Towers.

We also went on the Zephyr Circle Line Cruise (2 hours for $30) around part of the island. And I know a lot of you said it was not a big deal, and kind of boring, but it wasn’t.

Saw a cute panda on the way there that made my day.

The Circle Line cruise was located near the park that is close to the Financial District (forgot the name), and it was so peaceful to sit on the benches and just admire the view and the water.

The 4 hour cruise would have been boring as hell, but this one was interesting because the guide was funny and he explained a LOT on the cruise, like the different buildings, who stayed where, the history, etc.

Well worth the $30, but it was cold as hell.

And New Jersey across the shore is really building up! That building in the middle and to the left of the Statue of Liberty is Goldman Sachs’ (investment bank) new location.

There were also 2 annoying Italians (from Italy) couples on the cruise. They were loud, obnoxious.

BF: Those are real Italians from Italy. See? They’re dressed like “I’m about to go play soccer, but I’m going to gel my hair, wear sunglasses and a blazer instead”.

And they kept smoking like chimneys, and drinking all the Heineken beer on board. I was more interested in taking pictures of how douche-y they were, instead of the sights. BF had a better camera anyway, so he caught most of the sights, even though it was too bright to really see anything.

Next was the New York Library, and it deserves its own collage because it was stunning inside.

The woods, the gorgeous painted ceilings, and just how clean, quiet and wonderful it must be to be a student in NYC and having such a beautiful resource to study in.

I wished at that moment, I was a student in NYC.

I am not sure that with all the shops, I’d get any studying done, but I’d sure enjoy going to the library and just spending the day reading in such beauty.

I can see why it is a landmark of the city.

We also saw some breakdancers outside, but they weren’t giving us anything interesting (they have to make it last so they can make some money I guess), so we got bored and left.

But they had cute kids to draw in the crowd and a very close impersonation of a Michael Jackson.

We also saw the first signs of Spring, but it is clear we were a couple of weeks too early, although we were happy for that because it started to rain a lot more on the last day we left.

You know what they say, April Showers bring May Flowers.

The architecture of the city is truly stunning.

Y’all should be proud.

Naturally, I had to take pictures of the brownstones because they are very “New York” to me, a la Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw. There were so many buildings and colours, I was amazed.

Oh yea, I forgot to mention another annoying European couple.

We had this German couple behind us for most of the day and the girl would NOT shut up the entire trip.

We were stuck with them on the bus there, the cruise, and the bus back, so that’s a total of 6 hours we spent with them behind us.

Normally, I would think it’s cute that other people speak their native language, but the annoying German girl kept saying “Yeah Yeah“.. in a really annoying way, every 2 minutes.

Every time she ended her sentence, she’d say “Yeah Yeah”, and the guy would reply with “Yeah Yeah”.

I wanted to Yeah Yeah their you know whats….

When we got on the bus to go back downtown, BF started laughing because they sat behind us again and he knew how much they were irritating me.

Men seem to have a special device in their head to just block out any annoying noises, but women absorb everything, it seems.

FB: Encore une fois. ARRRGH!!!! *pulls hair out* I can’t take it!

BF: Shh.. Calm down honey.

Anyway, we then wandered down 5th Avenue because.. well, we’re tourists damn it! So we wanted to act very tourist-y and make the most of it.

Naturally, the Bergdorf Goodman, Saks Fifth Avenue, Sephora, and Takashimaya made it on the list.

Those stores are really magical from the outside and inside.

If I had tons of cash I guess I’d spend the whole day in each store, just browsing everything.

Takashimaya was beautiful, but.. totally not my style. I mean, it’s not like I’d go into Saks and do a huge shopping spree anyway, but it was really for the refined, older, kind of bohemian lady.

I felt really uncomfortable in there, out of place, and would not visit it again, although the elevators were very beautiful made out of red marble…

The very top right picture is of the Plaza Hotel (natch) and the Trump Tower below is another landmark to me.

5th Avenue is really nice. I guess I’d never be bored in New York if I could just go to 5th Avenue, buy some street food gyros and spend the whole day people watching and ogling the sights and sounds.

Speaking of people watching, NY women know how to turn it out!

I could immediately tell the tourists from the NY women (I was clearly, dressed as a comfortable tourist), but I’m telling you that you’ve got some serious style.

BF: I guess all you need to fit in here, is a pair of boots, a designer handbag, sunglasses and you’re set.

FB: Check, Sort-of check, and Check. But I’m here in tourist mode. There’s no time to wear fancy shoes when you’re walking 10 hours a day.

I found tourists who thought that dressing in animal prints was acceptable NY dress code.

No. No it isn’t, ladies.

Honestly.

I saw many women like this very well dressed woman on the left with fabulous hair, scarf, bag, and teetering sexy high heels that pulled the entire look together.

Then I saw the other spectrum of NY dressing – the faux LiLo (Lindsay Lohan).

High heels, tights as pants, sort-of dress shirt (eww). But I do have to give her kudos for a really cute bag, well done hair and makeup.

But that fur vest.. no.

Anyway, not ALL NY women dress like this in high heels or like Lindsay Lohan, but the ones who did, I really paid attention to.

Some rocked the bohemian look with layers and lots of colours, and I wish I had my camera ready (or a decent battery) to have caught those women.

Lastly, the random shots that didn’t fit anywhere else:

Took a picture of Sushi Samba, from Sex and the City where Samantha walks in and throws her drink in Richard’s face after he cheated on her by eating another woman’s sushi, and when he tells her he’s ordered a dirty martini for her, says “Dirty martini, dirty bastard“.

Then in Chelsea Market I saw these MASSIVE buckets of Nutella.

I guess restaurants use them, or families use them to top up their Nutella jars, because they were freaking HUGE! Too huge to be believable.

Then at Columbus Circle, we saw a concept car!!! SO COOL. You never see stuff like this in Canada.

Anyway, people were running across busy traffic in Columbus Circle just to take a picture of it. Luckily, we were in the bus so we had a great view and shot of it.

By the St. John the Divine Cathedral, a bunch of colourfully dressed bikers stopped at a light, and I just happened to really enjoy the shot as a budding amateur photographer with a crap camera.

On the left, as we were walking around Chinatown and Little Italy, we saw a really cool painting? I don’t know what it was, but it was of this HUGE burger, super colourful and wonderful on a side of a building.

And at the bottom right, is one of the 10 jewellery stores in NYC near the Marriott Hotel. I have never seen stores like this before, just covered in necklaces and bracelets. Naturally, I bought a necklace of my own for $16 USD because I like the metal circles linking everything together.

LEAVING NYC OR THE WORST DAY EVER

.. and not because I wanted to stay and check out more of the stores, like Macy’s, DSW Shoes or Century 21. I would have loved another month just to really take my time to shop in NY, but alas.. on a tight budget it was not possible.

No, no.

It was the worst day EVER of the whole trip because…

I HURT MY FOOT

Near the last days of the trip, as I blogged about it, I really hurt my right foot. I mean, really hurt it.

I think I bruised it, or sprained it.. I don’t know what. But I was limping and hobbling all over NYC trying to keep up to BF’s super long 6′ legs.

I PACKED TOO MUCH

I only brought a backpack and a carry on, but that was too much. I should have just worn ONE outfit the entire time and changed underwear, and brought just ONE bag.

My back was aching, shoulders were killing me, and I was getting cranky and BF was too.

WE MISSED THE TRAIN….4 TIMES

We’re idiots.

We wanted to take the A train to JFK airport, but every A train that came by kept saying “Up until Jay Street”.

It wasn’t until the 4th train went by, that we looked at the sign on the post and realized that on special days and weekends (like Saturday), the A train goes up to Jay street, stops, uses a shuttle bus to another point, and THEN the train picks up again to take you to the Airbus at JFK.

Oooo I wanted to get on those trains just to take us there but BF was too damn stubborn like a mule and told me not to get on the trains since they stopped at Jay St.

I was SO MAD (at myself mostly for not reading the signs and pushing BF harder) when I realized that Jay St. shuttle bus thing.

We ended up leaving the station and paying for a cab to take us to JFK.

THE CAB WAS A HOT MESS AND ENDED UP BREAKING DOWN

Yep. The cab broke down.

The seats were again too soft, and BF’s back started to hurt again. So he wound down a window to take his mind off his back pain and …the window gets stuck.

He tries to push up the window and fix it, and it keeps getting stuck.

We got in, his tracking GPS that counts the mileage and pays him, stopped working and shut off, and across the bridge, he turns off his car to restart the GPS and the entire car totally dies in the middle of the intersection, 20 minutes from JFK airport.

The cabbie jumps out and runs into the intersection and starts flagging down another NYC taxi (we thought he was abandoning us), and we get into that cab, and then they start haggling about who is going to get what cash.

In the end, that cabbie says, give me $25 and give the other guy $25 and that’ll be fine.

That cab was a HOT MESS.

BF: Why do I have to pay $50 when it’s a $45 flat fee ride?

Cabbie: Because of the toll!! It was $4.19!

BF: I don’t think we should have to pay the toll.

Cabbie: You do. All passengers have to pay the flat fee, plus toll.

BF: *suspicious*

FB: This is not the time to argue, honey.

BF: Okay. *mumbles in French — but your only tip will be $0.81 cents because I’m not tipping for such crap service*

$50 USD later…. we’re at JFK airport

BF: I’m done with cabs. We are cab free from now on.

FB: How are we going to home from Trudeau Airport?

BF: We’ll bus.

FB: *crying inside because her foot hurts and she doesn’t want to deal with buses and public transportation at 9 p.m.*

WE WERE LATE CHECKING IN & PEOPLE DON’T KNOW HOW TO TRAVEL

So the lady tells us to RUN to Gate 32H because we were too late checking in to use the self-service check.

The sign keeps saying “PLANE ON TIME”.

So we RUN into the security line, BF gets held up by some dumbass who didn’t want to take off his shoes to walk through the detector and ended up taking twice as long than it should have.

Travellers, here’s a tip from me to you: Take off your coat, shoes, laptop, liquids and gels in a bag, and place them ALL in a proper order so you don’t hold up the line.

We finally get past security, and we SPRINT to where it says Gate 32H.

Except Gate 32H is ALL THE F*CK down the end of the airport, not near the security check out as one might mistakenly believe.

So we’re running down the halls, down a long escalator, up ANOTHER escalator, and down another long hall until we reach the gate.

We are 25 minutes from boarding and..

BF: I’m going to go to the washroom

FB: WHAT?! NO! NO WASHROOM! Not allowed! We’re late!

BF: I’m going.

FB: ARRRRRRRRGH!

IT LOOKS LIKE WE MISSED OUR FLIGHT

The gate looks totally empty to me.

I of course, glare at BF and his weak bladder, and I’m panicking that we did all of this, I destroyed my foot even more, my back is aching from my bags and we MISSED OUR FLIGHT?!?!

So I ask if the plane has arrived (it’s 4.45 p.m. now, and the plane leaves at 5 p.m.), and she says the plane hasn’t even arrived on the strip yet.

Uh huh.

And the signs up there all said “ON TIME”, not “DELAYED”. And it was just so frustrating…

We end up exhausted, chilling on the chairs and not getting on the plane until 6 p.m. a full hour later.

And the plane doesn’t even get into the air until 7.30 p.m. because there were 8 planes in line in front of us.

THE PLANE FINALLY LEAVES AT 7.30 p.m.

Then I get to sit beside a smelly woman whose breath was about to take me down, with how nasty smelling it was when she talked/breathed.

GOD. This day could not get any worse, right?

Wrong.

There were 2 wanna-be NY rappers behind me who kept screaming at their handheld baseball game, kicking my seat once in a while and talking loudly about how they spend $1000 a month on cellphone bills (idiot), and how their album was going to drop in April, bla bla bla.

I wanted to turn around in my seat, and punch them in the face.

I actually dreamt about it the entire time I was on the plane. Punching them in the face.

Obnoxious Americans. 99% of all Americans I meet in any city are generally VERY friendly, smiley and wonderful people. It’s the 1% of Americans that are idiots, and possibly the only ones that travel on planes with me.

AND BEFORE THE PLANE TOOK OFF

There were some FOB Chinese on the plane who didn’t speak a word of any language but Chinese going to Montreal for a trip or something.

Wanna-be Rapper: I don’t wanna sit beside him [Chinese Guy]! He don’t even speak English!

FB: *thinking: Neither do you, asshole. Your grammar blows*

Stewardess: Well how about this gentleman then? *points to his friend*

Wanna-be Rapper: Yeah! He can sit beside me! He at least speaks English.

Other Wanna-be Idiot Rapper: Anyone who doesn’t f*cking speak English should get off this f*cking plane and NOT be allowed to fly.

FB: *turns around* Since you clearly ONLY speak English, maybe YOU should be tossed off the plane for not speaking it properly and embarrassing the rest of us with your ignorant bullshit.

Wanna-be Rappers: Huh? What’d she say?

FB: Whatevs.

We get into Montreal, and we finally get on the Airbus that takes us down to Queen Elizabeth Hotel and then we get off, and take the bus back home.

I ended up laughing the whole time after we got off the plane because it was just a whole day of comedic errors, you couldn’t help but laugh.

Overall, I had a GREAT time in New York City. It was just a bit of a mess getting there, and then leaving was no picnic, but that didn’t sully my time there. I wish I had a couple more weeks to let my foot heal and to really visit the shops there.