The Dating Age Gap

What’s an acceptable age gap between men and women? To date that is?

I have this theory that when we’re younger, anything over one or two years can make a HUGE deal. Like the age of an 16 year old dating a 20 year old is a big age gap. But if you’re older in your twenties or thirties, you don’t mind if you are 30 dating at 34 year old. In fact, your age gap tolerance becomes larger as you get older.

If you were a 90 year old dating a 70 year old, a 20 year age gap would not be a problem at all, at least not in my mind.

I’m in my mid-20s right now, and BF is currently edging close to 40.

People hear this age gap and give me this reaction:


And of course BF gets this reaction:


But the intention behind both are very different. Mine is more of a “Umm, he’s kind of old” reaction, and his is more of “You lucky guy you! *tinge of jealousy*”.

However the good news is that he doesn’t look anywhere near 40. People would peg him to be in his early 30s, even late 20s. So we don’t get a lot of those reactions from people we just casually meet.

But the minute I open my mouth and say I’m in my mid-20s and they KNOW that he’s in his late 30s (or vice versa), they do that little freakout show written above.

I think the best answer for this is: It Depends.

It depends on each person’s personality in the relationship (I’m saying this, clearly because I’m in one right now), and circumstances, like whether or not you really get along well as a couple or basically “what keeps you in the relationship”.

It reminds me of an episode with Samantha and Carrie where Samantha starts dating a “cute older man”, and asks Carrie what her age limit is. Carrie keeps saying “50?”, “50”? And when Samantha finally admits that the guy is older, MUCH older, Carrie gives her a look like she’s mad.

I originally thought my age limit would have been 35, but it turned out to be a couple of years above that which I was willing to let slide since we got along so well. So I can’t really say what my hard age line would be, but I suppose 50 would have really done the dog in. I could not have continued a relationship with a 50 year old, that’s for sure!!!! Even if we got along really well.

Maybe all single ladies out there should ask to see driver’s ID to check a guy’s age before falling for them. Or not. 🙂 It depends on what you’re looking for in life, of course.

In the past, I KNOW they used to marry girls as young as 12 to men as old as 30 or 40. That I find sickening (just because I’ve been brought up in this type of culture and society), but it has happened before, so it’s not something totally new.

I’d like to know what you think though!

What is your age limit?

Or do you not have one and are totally open?

So open that you’d even date a guy (or woman) twice your age?

About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.