It takes a village to raise a child…*snort*

I used to never want kids because of what I saw.

Kids were disrespectful, uncontrollable in public, whiny, and just cranky overall.

I’m not saying that ALL kids (or my future kids) will never be any of those things, but there ARE parents out there who know how to parent, and I’ve seen their children.

Their children are polite, respectful, they listen to their parents and they understand when their parents say “No” they mean it.

Parents who don’t raise their kids properly, are to blame. Please, save the hate mail and hateful comments saying “FB you don’t have kids, you don’t know what it’s like!”…

Kids cry and get whiny for no reason. I GET IT. I’ve been there and I’ve experienced it.

I don’t have kids of my own, but I do have nieces and nephews. I helped raise them too. And they grew up in a structure with rules and boundaries. No one ever expected that they would be free to ‘do their thing’, because kids just simply DO NOT KNOW unless you tell them and parent them.

Case in point. One day, we were in a store. My nephew started whining and running at all the shelves with the stuffed toys trying to jump on them. My sister in law couldn’t control him whatsoever and kept on trying to use parenting that she learned in the books by telling him “Sweetie, stop! Please stop, for Mommy”.

I walked up, hoisted him up on my hip and told him that if he didn’t behave and stop whining, we’d leave immediately and he would not be getting a toy from me for his birthday (which was…that day).

He seemed to understand. Until he tested the boundaries again. I picked him back up again, repeated that I meant what I said, and walked out of the store with him shocked in my arms, bawling a storm in my arms and trying to squirm out of my hands.

We got to the car, my sister in law followed in half shock, and we drove him home where he stopped crying with some coddling from my sister in law. I had meant what I said.

A couple days later, he started whining about eating his cereal and bananas, asking for chocolate. I took him by the hand and told him that if he didn’t behave and listen to his mother to finish his breakfast, we wouldn’t be going to the park that day together and would stay inside instead. He immediately shut up because he knew I meant what I said.

BOUNDARIES. It may not work all the time, but you have to mean what you say, especially to children.

But then I just realized that parents aren’t able to teach their kids discipline and respect because they were never taught those values growing up. You get what you deserve.

What’s worse, is that these parents expect society to parent their kids for them!

It’s not that I mind the concept of ‘it takes a village to raise a child’, but the village isn’t really allowed to really parent them. The power seems to only be one way.

In my days, the ‘village’ were my aunts, uncles, and close family members who could whup my ass at any moment’s notice and have the approval of my parents because these adults were the bosses, even if they weren’t your parents, and we as kids, knew it.

But these parents can’t have it both ways.

If you get mad and rude at a stranger who shows concerned panic and talks firmly to your child to stay away from the bonfire because they were being naughty and trying to poke at it with a stick while you had your back to them chatting it up with your friends and letting your toddler RUN FREE, then don’t expect us to be too thrilled to try to do that again because we may just get yelled at for trying to keep your kids safe.

It’s a two way street.

Lax or non-existent parenting, is what I call it.

I understand if you are busy with your other kids and you just lose sight of your little one because they like to toddle away.

Or if you were trying to handle a heavy bag and your child slips from your grip and runs around the parking lot, then I’m going to run to stop them from being backed over by a car.

But if you just LET your kid run free because you think “they’ll be fine, there are other people around and the cars are going to watch out for them when they back up” then that’s when I get irritated.


About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.