FB’s Negotiation – Part 4

Last words: Final things you should know about Women & Negotiation

Link: Monitor on Psychology

Women don’t like to negotiate salary

Women can take more control over their salaries if they are willing to negotiate—a task that many women dislike.

According to surveys from the Women Work! Online Career Center, two-and-a-half times more women than men said they feel very apprehensive about negotiating salaries, while men initiate negotiations about four times more often than women. When asked to select metaphors for the negotiation process, men chose “winning a ball game or wrestling match,” while women chose “going to a dentist.”

These same surveys revealed that women are more pessimistic about possible salaries when negotiating, so they typically ask for and are offered an average of 30 percent less than men.

Surprisingly, 20 percent of women report that they never negotiate and simply accept the first offer, even though they recognize that negotiation is appropriate and sometimes necessary to obtain a more equitable salary.

Knowing your worth

Understanding the market value of your work is important. Women report salary expectations between 3 and 32 percent lower than those of men for comparable jobs in the same Women Work! surveys. Likewise, these data reveal that men expect to earn 3 percent more than women during the first year of full-time work and 32 percent more at the peak of their careers.

Negotiation Tips

1. It’s a collaboration not a confrontation

I know it may seem like you’re fighting with the other person since you are on the other side of the table, but think about it: You want to stay but for better working conditions, and they want to keep you. Win-win. So make it work for YOU, and do a compromise if you have to.

You have to employ different styles with different situations and negotiators. With my particular cases that I outlined before, I could be more hard headed than if I really wanted a contract. I would’ve softened a bit, like when I first got the contract for $110. But when I was asked to come back, I knew I had it in the bag and I would get the money.

2. Be confident in yourself

Just be confident. Speak louder, articulate, try not to be too nervous, and rehearse with someone if you have to. Don’t back down the minute they try to oppose you. Listen to what they have to say, and then take a deep breath and reply confidently why you think you deserve more.

Be clear about what you want and practice asking for it in a calm, direct manner. Getting fired-up and emotional may have an adverse reaction.

But don’t be afraid to argue for your worth. You know how to already assess yourself against others in the same field in the market. You KNOW you are worth it. You KNOW you are good. So believe in yourself and make it come out in your voice and actions.

If you don’t think you’re good, chances are that people won’t either. *shrug*

3. It’s just a conversation

Don’t stray off track or let yourself be led off into another dimension that is irrelevant. It’s just talking, and you have a lot to gain, and even if you gain just half of what you wanted, it’s still better than nothing.

Stay focused, or else you’ll have to do it all over again if you get off track without getting any commitment from the other side.

4. Be respectful and gain their trust to make sure you’re hearing them correctly

Making sure that the other party is being heard is a sign of respect and is really appreciated. Try repeating with words like: “Okay, if I’ve heard you correctly, this is the issue…..“, and so on.

5. Be prepared and know what you are worth.

Come with what you want (the whole package), what you’re willing to settle for as a minimum, and having an idea of what is important to the other party to use as leverage. If you need weeks to prepare this, then do it. But once you are in negotiations, you stick firm to what you want as a minimum, and try not to give ground unless you feel you need to compromise a little.

Go online if you have to, and figure out what fair market price is for what you are doing, and go a BIT higher, so that you can compromise a bit while getting what you want in the end.

So if you are worth $60,000 but they are paying you $55,000 then ask for $65,000 and then let them haggle you down to $60,000 so that they feel good and you get what you want. This is an old trick to use, but you could be surprised – they may actually give you the $65,000!!

6. Be prepared to walk away without getting anything.

You can’t predict anything. You may not win. You may win a lot. Either way, you’re going in with nothing to lose if you keep civil and respectful. Just be careful that you don’t get into a heated argument and end up burning half of a bridge.

Try asking: What do you think is fair? That may help the other party feel like you’re listening, and their answer may actually surprise you with what they actually feel is fair to you and to them.

DO NOT be afraid to say NO. NO is your friend. It stops you from getting in trouble and it helps you focus on what you want in the end. They may end up giving you a lot of junk and responsibility that you don’t want for a small negligible increase in your salary and you could actually end up LOSING because you lost focus and couldn’t say No to the extra workload without a higher increase in salary.

7. When in doubt, tell them you will get back to them in 24 hours.

Best way to stall while you think. If you need to say this just to get them off the phone so that you can take a breather and rethink your strategy, just say you will think about it and get back to them within 24 hours.

Sometimes, you need to do this, even if you know you won’t change your mind. It helps negotiations because the other party feels like they’re getting somewhere with you, and it makes them feel better. It’s all perception.

8. Pretend you are negotiating for someone else.

This may help a lot of you. If you pretend you are negotiating for your mom or dad, or a friend, it may help because it’s not “you” per se.

This doesn’t work for me, because I get too involved, but if it helps to distance yourself mentally, then go for it.

About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.