paranoid asteroid wrote a very good rant about PF blogs, and I have to agree with her. I love my J. Crew or other mainstream brand name clothes as much as the next person. I could never be the woman to buy a t-shirt from Wal-mart and say it feels the same as a James Perse.
It may not be the most economical choice in the matter, especially if it’s a plain white shirt, but the quality and the difference in feel of the fabric on my body is priceless.
Same with shoes.
I don’t cheap out (at least I try not to), but on the other end of the pendulum, I also don’t go out and buy 50 pairs of $50 shoes. I’d rather buy one calculated, well-agonized over single pair of $500 shoes than to own many cheap replicas. Hear hear. I’ve blogged about this before too, about letting debt rule your life.
Some blogs really go too far, teaching you that even spending $2.00 on a candy bar is not very frugal or thrifty, but is a TREAT. Oh c’mon… are you kidding me? A $2.00 candy bar is a regular occurrence for me if I think it’s great (like, weekly).
I’m not going to beat myself up over spending $2.00 on a chocolate bar – I spent it, I ate it, I loved it. So what? I don’t do it every day, and it’s $2.00 not the end of the fricking world.
I also KNOW that I’m on track to financial freedom, and I don’t like this self-hating mentality of PF bloggers to make you feel awful for spending even $2.00 a week on a candy bar because you could’ve saved it, and snowflaked it to some savings account for retirement to get a 10% return over the long term.
PUH-LEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I do however, agree that if you ARE in debt and you don’t know how to budget, you shouldn’t be spending $2.00 on a candy bar if you ain’t tracking it.
You may end up pleasantly surprised that you actually don’t spend as much on junk food as you thought you did (unlikely, but possible), but the main point of not wanting to spend the $2.00 in my mind, is if you don’t track it, you won’t know you spent it.
Where you run into REAL problems is big ticket items like a house or a car – people overextend themselves, but then cheap out on actual living day-to-day expenses like food.
So cutting out a latte or a candy bar in my case that gives me happiness every morning but then buying a car for $45,000 instead of $25,000 doesn’t make any sense.
Besides, while being frugal and thrifty is a great thing to be (don’t buy what you can’t afford and what you don’t need), being a cheapskate is not, and sometimes these PF blogs advocate a really monk-like style of living, and deprive themselves of all desires and wants, thinking it’s a good thing, when in fact it’s the opposite, and just as bad as being a shopaholic – it’s just that it’s on the other side of the extreme and they have the disease where they CAN’T spend.
Have you heard of the story of the little old lady who lived on cat food in the projects and saved EVERYTHING she used, but ended up being a secret millionaire when she died, surprising everyone?
Yeahhhhhhhh.. SOOOO not gonna be me.
They even have secret millionaires who live on the streets because they refuse to pay rent or utilities and go to food kitchens in shelters to eat.
My point is that the money you save achieves a goal. It’s either meant to be spent, or meant to be there as security so you can (like me) tell the company you’re working for to EFF OFF, but in a polite, 2-week notice kind of way.
What money doesn’t do however, is want to be saved and thrifted on for your entire life so that you end up a millionaire but never enjoying the money or the fruits of your labour because you just got so used to deprivation and you have that self-hating PF blogger mentality that makes you beat yourself up for spending $2.00 a week on a candy bar, that you never let yourself go free.
What kind of life is THAT?
Great post, paranoid asteroid. I never knew I had these feelings bottled up in me. LOL.
Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver.
I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year.
Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about 
Cheryl: Thanks!
Foxie: uhhh only if you can afford it, right? 🙂 not on credit card? not as a debt?
If so – GO FOR IT! lol
And I want Uggs this winter too, if only they didn’t stain so easily
FB, you’ve almost got me convinced now that my “silly want” of a Coach bag isn’t going to be a waste. 🙂 I’m still going to feel guilty for spending so much, but I’ll be better after a few days of having a bag I adore. 😛
Now, I dunno if I can do the whole shoe thing properly… I’ll see if this winter I’ll finally get a pair of Uggs without choking on the price. 🙂 C’est la vie.
I am hooked. I will be a regular reader of yours from now on. I will share my out of debt successes when I have them. Your blog is great. And thank you so much for visiting my blog. I’m going to subscribe to your feed. and link you on my blog, (if you don’t mind).
So happy I found you and keep on keeping on!
Ciao Bella!
Love this! I will do some things that some consider extreme (making my own cleaners), but I pick and choose what sounds interesting to me.
I wouldn’t regularly buy $2 candy and $4 lattes because I get just as much happiness from making my coffee at home most days. But if I’m having a bad day, I get a latte. So what? And it does make me happier.
I’m much more likely (lately) to blow money on groceries i don’t really need, to make meals that aren’t frugal but that I want.
Whatever. Live and let live, you know?
As with all things in life, I think finding the balance is where it’s at. No need to deprive yourself of everything, but not go all out either.
Great post, FB! I had a similar conversation with my financial planner… he said it’s not worth waiting and saving to do the things you really enjoy in retirement only if the only way you’re going to go on that trip is by pushing a walker or holding an oxygen tank. You have to balance things out, a lil now, a lil later. That’s what I’m trying to do…
Great post and I second everything you say!! I love quality over quantity, so for me thrifting is the ideal way to get quality names at low prices!!
Thanks for the link!
I love that you went off on a tangent. I did the same thing (it was mean to be a happy post as an “Oh hey, people whose blogs I linked! I’m not creepy, you just happen to talk about shoes almost as much as I do!” I probably could have continued on, but I figured “I HATE EVERYONE!” was a bad message to be spreading, at least right now while I’m the new kid in town!
that was a great post! LOL i really enjoyed reading that and i totally agree with everything you said. Some of the PF blogs are a little extreme..did you know some ppl actually make their own laundry detergent?? I mean, thats great and all but i could never do that.
LOL @ secret millionaires. You can’t take it with you, and if you’re not Bill Gates, what you leave behind probably won’t change the world. My late business partner — who was DYING — used to say, “Enjoy yourself while you can. Life is short.” Later I found out she REALLY knew what she was talking about. If you can’t take the hint about getting pleasure out of life from a dying woman, I don’t know what will get through to you!
I loved this post 🙂 I was just thinking about this today when I bought some fudge from See’s Candies. It was expensive, and I thought about how that $10 I spent could have been saved, etc. but then I just had to say whatever and enjoy it 🙂
I think people have the right to spend money how they want. A little pleasure doesn’t kill anyone. While you’d use that $2 for a candybar, I’d use that $2 for a cup of tea at my favorite fancy bubble tea place or some apricots instead my daily bananas.
I think the point of personal finance is not to cheap yourself out, but to allow money to work for you, bringing you safety, comfort, and the means to reach your dreams. As long as you aren’t overspending, and you budget for these luxuries in advance, there’s no reason to deny yourself something that gives you joy! I think when you start living like a miser instead of a thrifty person, you’re accumulating a happiness debt.
I remain, respectfully,
Anonymous
If we weren’t paying back any debt, I think we could live on 50% (there are two of us on essentially one income). Alas, the banks get cranky when we discount Mr.’s loans when we figure out our monthly expenses. ^_^
Frugal Urbanite: *BLUSH*
I live on 30% of my income… er… LOL….!!!!
But that doesn’t stop me from indulging once in a while – I’m juts really debt focused.
damn he really IS a fanatic
I find PF blogs are the reason many people don’t want to go frugal. People are turned off because it seems like you need to live a Scrooge-like lifestyle or the Frugal Police are come after you.
I’m going to be honest here, I totally skip the frugal thing if it takes too much work or if I think it will make me miserable. I fully admit to having a shoe fetish and regularly indulging it (I want those cameo heels SO BAD), I’m WAY too lazy to work the CVS deals and I can’t be damned to save my plastic wrap and sandwich bags. You gotta go with what works for you and ignore the fanatics living on 50% of their income.
louise: uh huh! hot, comfy shoes. that’s my thing
yes, no point being the richest person in the graveyard. And I’m with you on the shoe thing! I just won’t do cheap shoes.
Alexandra: Ugh totally. I like underwear from NICE places so it lasts and doesn’t ride up my butt
Always in Style: Sorry! My fault. PF = Personal Finance 🙂 I get kind of geeky sometimes
enc: Yep I agree. It’s all how you perceive value and if you’re willing to pay for it.
I just hate people making others and me, feel guilty for lusting after gorgeous items I’d buy once I’m out of debt lol
Agreed: You’ve gotta live. It’s each person’s choice how.
Scrimping is only good if it feels good emotionally, if it has value. If you’re glad you didn’t buy that candy bar, then that’s great. However, if you develop resentments about all the things you’re NOT buying, then what’s the point of NOT buying them?
There’s a reason the James Perse t-shirt costs more than the Wal-Mart t-shirt. Let’s stipulate that the workmanship and fabric on the JP t-shirt is nice(r). Someone may like better workmanship and nicer fabric enough to pay $35 dollars (or whatever it is) for the privilege of feeling that nicer fabric against his/her skin, and not having the shirt fall apart in the first five minutes of wear. And another person may care only about saving $30 by spending only $5 on the Wal-Mart t-shirt, not giving a darn about how it feels. Fair enough.
Each person perceives value a different way. FYI—I’d blow the purse on the Perse.
I’ve blathered on long enough.
I have a question. What is PF blog? I feel really stupid now.
Can I get an AMEN! I don’t like it when people make me feel bad for spending money on something I enjoy when I could have gotten another item for less. I DO NOT and WILL NOT shop for clothes at Wal-mart. I wouldn’t even buy my underwear or socks form that place. My dislike of Wal-Mart is a whole other story worth of a blog post sometime. Just wanted to say I completely agree with you!