Seriously lady, when the entire train was near empty, what possessed you to decide to squeeze your lemon yellow ass in between the short space, JUST SO you could have the inside window seat on the RIGHT hand side of the train?
Didn’t you see that I was already sitting in the aisle seat on the right side?
Didn’t you notice my HUGE bag growing like a tumor coming off my side?
Didn’t you see my lunch bag and another traveling bag in front of me?
Don’t sigh and roll your eyes at me for having all my bags around me on an ALMOST EMPTY train.
In fact, don’t even act like yo ass is all surprised when you squeezed it into that window seat and then realized that my bags were taking up a ton of your personal space?
You know what would be a GREAT idea next time, lemon ass? Don’t sit beside a chick with 4 huge bags on an almost empty train.
Another thing that really bothers me is when people KNOW that their stop is coming up, and you’re standing RIGHT THERE, watching them, dreading when they have to peel their butts off the seat and shove past you to get out.
I don’t mind that so much….. if it’s done in advance and there’s TIME to slowly shuffle and move instead of being shoved hard.
But instead of getting up at the stop before (on a crowded train mind you) and slowly trying to make their way to the door, fighting through the super thick crowd on the train, they decide to sit until the train finally stops (and they ain’t old or disabled, lemme tell ya), and then they try to mosey their ass on up to the door to get out.
Umm.. HELLO?
Could you NOT have done this sooner? You KNOW it’s your stop. I saw you lookin’ at the subway train line, and starting to gather your bags.
YOU KNEW!
And then when I’m on the other side of the train waiting to get inside, y’all be standing in front of the door like a bunch of cement statues, not moving, not wanting to LET me get inside the train, and in doing so, the width of available train space by which to enter is cut in HALF by your lazy, inconsiderate ass.
Oh and when I’m coming OFF the train (that is, I’m already at the door and waiting), DON’T START SHOVING. Stand aside and LET me get off the train in one piece, or don’t be surprised when I shove you hard as I’m coming off the train, in fear of being trampled by others behind me.
And as for people standing INSIDE the subway train car? All I can say is.. move into the middle. Please, for the love of sanity, move into the middle when others are coming onto the train. Y’all aren’t gonna die by the entrance, you’re going to be able to LEAVE the train – that’s how it works, see?
You get on the train.
You get off at your stop.
Everyone knows that.
Just respect the ebb and flow, and we’re all good.
I always see the entrance and the entrance proximity totally packed like sardines, but then the middle is chillin’ out, spaced out, mellow, and totally free to be comfortable.
Move. Into. The. Middle.
Andrea: It seriously is an experiment. I’m considering wearing gloves myself.. how weird would that be to wear a pair of small wrist gloves? 😛 With a SARS mask?
The TTC is a great sociological experiment. In university I took a sociology course on non-verbal communication and the topic of personal space came up. The professor talked about how on a bus, streetcar or subway people will fill the window seats first, before sitting next to strangers. It’s a cultural thing. North Americans like their personal space.
On Friday evening I sat in a window seat with a woman sitting next to me. At one point the train became almost empty. There were areas with 4 consecutive free seats (the ones that back to the windows) and areas with two (the front & back facing seats) but the woman next to me didn’t budge. I hoped she’s get the hint when I stared at the open seats and then glared at her.
It’s subway etiquette to get up and move to the empty seats.
Laura: On David Lebovitz’s blog he once referred to holding the subway pole as “Metro hands” (he lives in Paris) and said that he wears gloves on the metro. Me, I usually cover my hand with my sleeve when I hold the pole. This doesn’t work so well in the summer.
QL girl: LOL.. I was laughing as I was writing it. I get irritated at the time then I make a note in my PDA and blog about it 😛
Leanna: Ugh.. get certification on how to be a human.
Amethyst: Any time 😉 I’m sure there’ll be more to come
Laura: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW OMG.. now you’re making me paranoid. I’m going to wear gloves..
mamaluv: I wish I could tell lemon ass what I thought of her 😛
This is a seriously funny post! You tell ’em, FB.
Lmao, YES. Also, please if you have some sort of death virus, please do not enter the train, sneeze some gross wet sneeze all over your hands, and then use those hands to grab the same pole I am holding for balance. Ewwwww. Number one reason why I hate public transit.
Thank you so much for saying what I have wanted to say for so long only I could not figure out how to without foaming at the mouth spewing curse words.
😉
Hahahaha. Sometimes I think people should have to pass a class in order to ride public transit… things like getting the eff out of the way, taking a shower, etc…
Too funny.
Sorry if I’m laughing at your misery…but I absolutely love your subway posts! People can be so oblivious…