Open Letter to Subway People

Seriously lady, when the entire train was near empty, what possessed you to decide to squeeze your lemon yellow ass in between the short space, JUST SO you could have the inside window seat on the RIGHT hand side of the train?

Didn’t you see that I was already sitting in the aisle seat on the right side?

Didn’t you notice my HUGE bag growing like a tumor coming off my side?

Didn’t you see my lunch bag and another traveling bag in front of me?

Don’t sigh and roll your eyes at me for having all my bags around me on an ALMOST EMPTY train.

In fact, don’t even act like yo ass is all surprised when you squeezed it into that window seat and then realized that my bags were taking up a ton of your personal space?

You know what would be a GREAT idea next time, lemon ass? Don’t sit beside a chick with 4 huge bags on an almost empty train.

Another thing that really bothers me is when people KNOW that their stop is coming up, and you’re standing RIGHT THERE, watching them, dreading when they have to peel their butts off the seat and shove past you to get out.

I don’t mind that so much….. if it’s done in advance and there’s TIME to slowly shuffle and move instead of being shoved hard.

But instead of getting up at the stop before (on a crowded train mind you) and slowly trying to make their way to the door, fighting through the super thick crowd on the train, they decide to sit until the train finally stops (and they ain’t old or disabled, lemme tell ya), and then they try to mosey their ass on up to the door to get out.

Umm.. HELLO?

Could you NOT have done this sooner? You KNOW it’s your stop. I saw you lookin’ at the subway train line, and starting to gather your bags.


And then when I’m on the other side of the train waiting to get inside, y’all be standing in front of the door like a bunch of cement statues, not moving, not wanting to LET me get inside the train, and in doing so, the width of available train space by which to enter is cut in HALF by your lazy, inconsiderate ass.

Oh and when I’m coming OFF the train (that is, I’m already at the door and waiting), DON’T START SHOVING. Stand aside and LET me get off the train in one piece, or don’t be surprised when I shove you hard as I’m coming off the train, in fear of being trampled by others behind me.

And as for people standing INSIDE the subway train car? All I can say is.. move into the middle. Please, for the love of sanity, move into the middle when others are coming onto the train. Y’all aren’t gonna die by the entrance, you’re going to be able to LEAVE the train – that’s how it works, see?

You get on the train.

You get off at your stop.

Everyone knows that.

Just respect the ebb and flow, and we’re all good.

I always see the entrance and the entrance proximity totally packed like sardines, but then the middle is chillin’ out, spaced out, mellow, and totally free to be comfortable.

Move. Into. The. Middle.

About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.