Madame X from My Open Wallet posted a great, reflective post about the Costs of a New Relationship.
I am totally with her on this post. The cost of a long-distance significant other is pretty daunting.
– Phone calls: Use Skype as much as you can, it’ll be worth the investment especially if you buy a cheap webcam or have iSight installed on your newer MacBooks, but beware, it behaves strangely on Macs.
– Travel: This is a huge chunk. I try and do my visits booking ahead of time so that way I really know how much it all costs, but then you get these odd days where you’re like: OOOO! I can travel up there TONIGHT instead of tomorrow afternoon… But then you realize the cost of the one-way ticket is almost the cost of the round trip, and you have to weigh the pros of cons (and whether or not you can afford it), of travelling up earlier so you can have an additional night with your lover, or sucking it up and waiting about 15 hours.
Guess which one *I* picked? 😛
– Dinners: This one, I’ve saved a bit on, because we actually stay in most of the time and cuddle, which I really, really love. We also cook more together at home, and watch TV, so that’s always nice. We don’t do the bar scene, or the restaurant scene because we’d rather spend time together in the kitchen, making a meal instead of waiting in a restaurant.
– Outings: I’m not really a fan of going out for the sake of going out, and he isn’t either. So our “outings” are going to run errands like buying toiletries, picking up electronics, checking out new bedsheets, etc. I’m all right with that because we get to go out… but we spend the money on things he actually needs instead of going out for the sake of going out.
Also, taking walks in the park is quite nice, but is a bit frosty for that right now.
– Presents: Ugh, I just posted about this, with the unexpected Valentine’s day cost, and now apparently I’m going to be f*cked with getting my monthly this weekend. Great. 🙂 Stupid body. 😛
Can anyone think of anything else?
Long distance relationships are DEFINITELY more expensive.
But hopefully it won’t stay too long as a long distance relationship and things will work out for the best.
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bitterbabe: I see mine EVERY weekend so .. doesn’t work for me 🙂
i like long distance relationships because then you do not always have to hang out with them on the weekends!!
Clueless: I totally agree… it would be easier just to take the tube over to see him instead of having to get on a train for 5 hours!!!
Tell me about LDRs costing a lot! I’m already on the Skype thing – we both use Macs and it isn’t that bad. Still cheaper than calling him internationally. haha
Plus, b/c I’m only going to see him for like 10 days next month, I’ve already spent money on tickets for The Little Mermaid (he says he’s gonna pay me back for them, but I’m not gonna hold him to it), plus I think I may also get us tickets for a burlesque show (something neither of us have experienced), and he’s spent money on tix for 2 concerts, AND my plane tickets over! Ack. This is, of course, not including all the little presents and stuff we send each other all the time…
If I were single, or even if I were in a non-LDR, it definitely wouldn’t be as expensive – or at least not all at once, since we could spread out all the activities!
Living: No I *know* I won’t have to. He’s already budgeted in the costs of food and entertainment.
Depends on the single Alexandra. Our current roomie is single and travels extensively. But he’ll tell you he’s more likely to travel with a friend because it can get lonely during a 3 week trek of mexico or turkey. A lot of my closest friends are single right now and all are dying to travel. But they don’t want to go by themselves.
As a singleton you only pay for half the expense if you split with a friend! But 2x if you are coupled up.
You don’t think when you go on vacation with him, you’ll pay for anything?
MM: I’ve been in plenty of LDRs before .. but this is the only one where I’ve had the money/inclination to actually visit every weekend. 🙂
Alexandra: That’s true.. when I’m single, I do go out a bit more with my friends. But I think being in an LDR is much more expensive than a regular relationship or being single (at least in my case it is)
I am not convinced being in a relationship is more expensive than being single. When single, I spend a lot more on travel since you cannot share costs such as car rentals, and hiring of guides and things like that. And when single, I still go to movies, and museums and restaurants and all that so it makes no difference on that front.
Ah yes, we were in an LDR for 4 years while I was at college. Not much fun. I saw him every 2 weeks or so, which cost him a lot on gas (still cheaper than the bus and there was no train…which is ironic because both places had stations, he would have had to go a couple hundred miles out of his way to get to mine since there was no direct line, and it would have been expensive).
We both got cell phones with unlimited in-calling. Not quite as good as Skype, but it was nice to be able to talk to him every night as I walked home from work. Away from the computer.
Tanya: You’re telling me. Because of my ‘changes’ to be able to stay 2 extra nights, it cost an additional $150 *gah!*…
Living: Well the only vacations we’re going on is the one I have to go to for a wedding, and the other he’s paying for completely because of some bonus money…. so no, we don’t plan on going anywhere.
As for winter activities.. not really. We’re not into doing sports or going to museums and concerts etc.. until maybe the summer, but… i’m just thrilled to be with him
You don’t plan on vacationing anywhere with BF? Don’t ever plan on going to a museum, kayaking, skiing, rock climbing, biking, hiking, etc? These things even in an established relationship cost money. Or more expensive musical, play, ballet, symphony, rock concert, sports game, etc.
I’ve found that if you have someone to go with (whether new or old), then you are more likely to go than a single person.
Sounds nice to just sit in, but DH and I like to go out and do stuff. We like to snowboard all day, but it’s not cheap. Also you usually end up eating out because of it. Or if we go snowshoeing that also costs rentals. Or renting a kayak and hiking/camping that weekend.
Plus added gas with driving to those places. Or if we go out to a concert or game, then we usually add a dinner in.
I guess it’s easier to not do stuff, but even a friend of mine whose currently doing long distance does a lot of things with her BF. Sometimes they both travel to a midway point for a “weekend” getaway.
I think relationships are expensive. When your single you work, and go home. Honestly how many singles like to go to a movie or play solo? And I think are less likely to go do an activity solo.
Hey, be careful with that! One time I booked an earlier one-way and they canceled the second half of my ticket because it was “dependent on round-trip travel”… Gah! Now *that* was expensive!