Remember how I told you I was (and am) a recovering shopaholic? I used to go out to the mall and blow $300 each visit. And since I was bored, I’d go to the mall once every week or two weeks to relieve stress and just “browse” which ended up into my wanting items that I didn’t need.
I also shopped at unique boutiques in stores, to buy $150 purses and things I knew I couldn’t buy mass market..
So why am I telling you this? Because I was still a bit of a shopaholic while with Ex because I purchased things on the sly, or I’d find ways to buy things online without him knowing and have it shipped to the hotel and pick it up before he did…
I also wanted to shop a lot more with him. Every time he said “Go ahead, get it” I’d be thrilled that I was given a chance to buy something with him knowing, and I didn’t really evaluate if I wanted it or not.
I thought about this the other day, but if people shop to fill an emotional void in their lives (which I clearly was doing), can it be true and even more remarkable that I haven’t wanted to shop ever since BF came along?
I’m coming clean, folks!
The only purchases I’ve bought in recent weeks is my Passport, pills, and … oh wait, a couple more pairs of sweatpants, but to my defense I threw out my old pairs that were getting quite old and baggy, and the new sweatpants fit perfectly and were on SALE (I’m picky about sweatpants.. they can’t be too thin, too high, too low, not soft enough, etc etc)..
But before, I was really awful.
Spending so much money made me feel good, but as I went through my closet, really evaluating what I had wasted my money on in the past, I started filling up 4-5 boxes of STUFF. Unused clothing, some still with tags, shoes I bought and never wore.. and I want to really do a major overhaul on my closet, go through everyhing and pare it down to a reasonable amount. I really have too many clothes and shoes.
Thinking of hosting a mini get together with my girls in January and I’ll bring my nice stuff that I want to donate, and whatever doesn’t get taken by my friends I’ll donate to charity. I really just want to see them benefit SOMEONE, and it’ll be such a huge load off my chest to get rid of half of my wardrobe.
I have 40 pairs of shoes that I’m keeping (yes… BF thinks I’m nuts), and 2 full racks of tops, half a rack of skirts, half a rack of pants, half a rack of suits, half a rack of dresses and a full rack of coats.
Yup.
(A rack would be maybe 4 feet across?)
Ugh, I need to get rid of my junk!!!
After I went through a break up and found myself single after being in a relationship for almost 10 years, all of the sudden I had all these money that I wasn’t spending on the ex. All those years I never bought anything for myself, so for the duration of my new found singlehood I went shopping every weekend for me! It was when I had almost 50 pairs of heels when I realised something isn’t right here because half of them were still in their boxes unworn.
Fast forward to now (3 years later) I’m down to three heels, three pairs of sport shoes, two pair of sandals and two pairs of flats and one of the pair I’m wearing to death because I like them too much and I figured I’ll wear them until my toes poked through, not long now as it’s already ripped…
What did I do with the rest of the high heels? Threw out the ones that looked really worn and bits coming off, cleaned off the dust on the rest and gave them away to the cleaners at work whos salary is only a fraction of mine, they were well happy.
Gotta do the same thing to my closet now…
It's hard not to be a shopaholic in today's consumer society. Besides shopping certainly has some therapeutic benefits as it can give your mood a much-needed boost. Unfortunately the rush you get from a new purchase only lasts for an hour or so and then you're on your own again…
My recent post Are You A Shopaholic
That’s true. Shopping gives you a small rush, not a long-term feeling of satisfaction.
Only experiences and memories do that for me (the long-term satisfaction I mean).
Good point, FB!
I realized that in looking for my purple shoes at discount stores, I ended up buying a lot of other stuff instead. Most of it was still on my list somewhere, but none of it had “absolutely must have” status.
So, finally, I realized that I should just go online, find the perfect pair, and buy them, even if they were expensive. I found a pair of Charles David patent Mary Janes in a lovely eggplant. They were about $120, but I love them and have gone shopping a lot less since. And in fact, they cost less than my shopping trip earlier that day looking for something similar for cheap (doubt those even exist at this point, anyway).
I’m still looking for the perfect pair of fuchsia shoes, though ; ) I really liked the ones on BQ, but they were peep-toe, and peep-toes and I rarely get along.
Alexandra: Ditto. I bought tons of party-style things, then realized that I didn’t go to many parties, and if I did, I wore jeans and a cute top, and not anything overly fancy….
Savingdiva: Ugh.. I hate that. My clothes are starting to feel a bit tight on me. I’m going to seriously switch to spandex LOL
Meg: I have to say that I agree. If you find something fabulous like a pair of purple shoes and you know it’s THE ONE, then you buy it. But for me, it was buying every pair of purple shoes to fill a void for the one pair of purple shoes I wanted and/or something else.
In fact, just recently, I purchased a winter hat, but now I’m realizing it wasn’t what I needed and now I need to go out and buy ANOTHER winter hat *ugh*
I don’t know if I quite fit the term “shopaholic” — though the fact that I’m not sure might be a bad sign.
I bought a lot of clothes over the past couple years because 1. I had a breast reduction and needed clothes that fit, 2. my chest size continued to vary for a while as is normal, 3. my weight also fluctuated up and down by about 20 pounds do to forces largely out of my control, and 4. I discovered style and got picky about what I wore.
I’ve basically built my wardrobe a few times over. I’ve mostly done it at discount stores like Ross and T.J.Maxx, though, and haven’t bought much a full price. Sometimes it’s hard to see where the money went because my current wardrobe is currently nice-sized, but not huge. I ended up giving away a lot of things, though, as my body and tastes changed.
Also, I don’t go clothes shopping often, but when I do a very thorough job of it.
I would say that I can be compulsive. I have a hard time saying no to something that looks absolutely amazing or that I know would fill a style void. But is it really compulsive when I’ve been looking for the perfect pair of purple shoes for two years?
Based on my current income, I know that I do have a problem, but I keep hoping that I can fix the income problem and not have to change my shopping habits too much. Yeah, I know that’s poor logic.
One thing is sure, working at The Bargain Queens is either going to be really good or really bad for my budget this coming year ; )
I also used to have a shopping problem. Since I’ve put on weight, I haven’t felt like buying any clothes, so I have a closet full of clothes that I can’t fit into…it’s beyond frustrating!
I had to make a conscous effort to change my approach to shopping this year. My mistake was in getting excited about certain pieces (even more so if they were on sale), buy them, and then realize they completely do not fit my life style and go with nothing I already had…so they would never get worn.
Once I realized that, I’m forcing myself to really think about the wearability of that item before I buy it. Can I wear it at work? And if so, with what? Can I wear it to parties? And if so, do I have something similar I already wear to parties?…and many, many times I walk away without buying that item.
It still hurts though. I see cool things in boutiques, or from local designers and it’s hard to leave them behind even after I know it will never get worn. I guess I have clothing collector tendencies.
Mel: !!!!!! At least I don’t feel alone. That’s what *I* did – bought things that were originally $500 for much cheaper….
I’m going to go through my wardrobe, weed out all the junk and if I need something like a pair of pants, I’m going to blow $200 on a really fab pair of pants and use those forever instead of $200 on a bunch of so-so pants.
I’m having to retrain my way of thinking when I shop. I used to buy stuff on sale because it would be such a good deal (ie: Something originally $80 knocked down to $15), but I’d end up never wearing it. Granted, this was during my college years, but still… I think as I’ve matured, I realize that it’s better to spend full price (as long as it’s reasonable) on something that I’ll get a lot of mileage on than paying a sale price on a lot of little things that I’ll never use at all. Live and learn, eh?