Paying for the first date

I do own up to the fact that I’m a hypocrite for saying I would prefer equality between men and women, yet I expect the guy to foot the bill for (at least!!) the first date.

By the way, I haven’t been the one to ask guys out – but if I did, I may pay for the first date, I’m not so sure what I’d do, the rules are a bit fuzzy. But in all of my previous dating experience the guy always paid for me for the first date.

I think it all stems back to the idea of the man being gentleman-ly and partly due to Evolution (the whole bit that if the guy paid for your shelter and food, it meant he cared, yada yada). And if he pays, it’s certainly in the forefront of your mind that it is not NECESSARY that he does (since I do have my own money of course), but it’s a nice gesture and it clearly shows his interest in us becoming a romantic item instead of platonic.

See the difference is if I went out with a guy friend, I’d pay for my own meal, no questions asked (although sometimes my good guy friends pay for me, and I reciprocate with paying for their meals in our next lunching out).

Now the key phrase to take away in what I stated above is: guy FRIENDS let girls pay. So it stands to reason that if you’re interested in her… you fork over the cash for at least the first date, and go on a second one and let her pay, or offer to pay, whatever you want to do. And if you can’t afford it, a cheap Pad Thai dinner or hotdog stand with unlimited $3 Polish sausages satiates my hunger as well as a frou-frou high end restaurant where the portions leave me starving and a disappointed. I’m there to assess your personality, sense of humour, and straight up chemistry, not your wallet (although as you get older, you don’t want someone who is financially irresponsible either).

As a side note, women who don’t ever lift a finger to even feebly attempt to take the check, should realize that guys aren’t ATM machines, and a bit of a gesture on your part (at the very least) of willingness to foot the bill if you’re interested in this man, and to voice that you would LIKE to reciprocate paying the bill on your second, third, fourth, Nth dates, is a much better way to go, and means a lot more outings together because now you’re pooling your money with his, to pay to further your future romance.

So readers, what do you think? Does anyone feel the same way I do?

About the Author

Just a girl trying to find a balance between being a Shopaholic and a Saver. I cleared $60,000 in 18 months earning $65,000 gross/year. Now I am self-employed, and you can read more about my story here, or visit my other blog: The Everyday Minimalist.